Author's Preface
Evening of Saturday, 3rd week of May
I set my phone down on my desk. I called Runa hoping to cheer her up a little, but instead, the call ended with her sounding like she was about to cry.
Ugh.
Seriously, what am I even doing? Making her cry again wasn’t my intention at all. Even though I think I’ve done it accidentally. All I wanted to do is help Runa. And if she can’t go back to his apartment anymore, then that’s that. It’s my turn to help her study again. It should be, but…
How?
I don’t even know how this guy was able to teach Runa about quadratic equations in just one night. I taught her about linear equations for a week. And until now she probably still doesn't understand what they are. Well, unless he already taught her about them.
But that’s beside the point.
I mean… studying aside. I understand completely what Shizuna-san, Runa’s mom’s concerns. It is not normal to have a girl and a boy who are still in high school, who aren’t even dating, be alone together in an apartment. I warned Runa about it, but even though she was hesitating, she still went. And by the looks of it, they actually just studied.
I can’t really comprehend this puzzle. It’s so confusing.
And because of that, I found it hard to concentrate on my own studying for the entire week. And again tonight… no… the whole day, I wasn’t able to progress at all. My desk looks busy. Notebooks scattered, pens everywhere. But it’s not because I was diligent. It’s because I was getting irritated that I am not progressing the way I want to, and there are still a lot of materials I need to review.
…and exams are just three days away.
Sigh.
“I can’t stand this,” I shouted toward my desk.
What am I supposed to do?
I hear footsteps suddenly emerge in the hallway outside my room. They sound light but still loud enough that my ears can pick up their rhythm. It's my mother. The footsteps stop when they reach my door. Then three knocks. I look behind me and I see my door opening slightly and her head peeking through. When she sees me looking at her, she enters.
Mother sighed, but then smiled.
“Still studying, Mika?” Mother asked.
“...Yeah,” I answered. “I just felt a little bit annoyed about something.”
“Well, if that’s the case, then I think it’s time for you to go to bed. Don’t you think so?”
“But, exams are coming up soon. I don’t want to waste time and not be prepared for them.”
I look toward my mother. She is still smiling. Then she taps my shoulder and points her finger toward my alarm clock that’s on my desk.
10:32 pm.
I turn toward her while I pout.
“It’s still just 10:32 pm. It’s early,” I said.
“You’re a growing girl, and resting is also part of preparing,” my mother replied.
“That’s not fair, how are you and father allowed to work hard but I can’t?”
“True,” Mother answered. “Teru-kun and I work hard, but we work hard for you and your brother. You, on the other hand, are still young, and you shouldn’t force yourself when you are at the point of struggling. Sometimes, take a break.”
That’s not the answer I wanted to hear from her. It’s like dismissing all the effort that I’ve put into my own studies. I mean, I get it, but I need to do this. Otherwise…
“And you know Teru-kun and I always go on vacations once a month. I also go out with my friends at least twice a month,” Mother continued, then patted my head. “See, even though we work hard, we both know when to take a break,” she said. Her smile still hasn't left her face.
“Okay,” I answered and gently lifted her hand away from my head. I don’t like it whenever she tries to treat me like a kid. But it has become a habit, and I don’t feel like correcting her anymore. Not that I haven’t tried. It's just that I tried too many times and she still ended up patting me on the head every time. “But, don’t you think it’s time for you to stop calling father by a nickname? I mean, you’re not in your teens anymore.”
“What do you mean?” Mother pouted. “I still love your dad, you know.”
Mother puts both her hands to her cheeks, then she blushes, then her smile gets bigger.
“I still remember the time when he confessed to me before we graduated from high school. I’ve known he liked me ever since we got into the same class when we were in second year, but it took him two years to confess. But even so, I think those two years I’ve waited for him were all worth it. And—” Mother continued.
“Mama… I’ve heard you tell me the same story like a million times already. Please spare me,” I said. I really don’t want to hear it again. It becomes cheesier the more I hear it from her. And I had to cut her off before she even began to elaborate more on her romance with Father from when they met to now.
I do respect that my mother never grew out of love with Father, but I really can’t comprehend what was so good about being in love. I’ve never thought about it, not even once.
“Well, off to bed then,” Mother said as she stood up. “One day you’ll understand,” she said as if she just read my mind.
“I don’t think so,” I said. “I’ll go to bed later, Mama.”
“Then don’t stay up late.”
“Alright.”
I stared at her as she walked toward my door.
“Good luck then, and good night,” Mother said before closing the door.
I immediately crossed my arms on my desk and hid my face inside them as soon as she left.
Ugh.
Ughhhhhh.
I knew my mother just told me something to think about life. But that’s beside the point of what is bothering me right now.
Sigh.
Knowing when to take a break, huh?
…No.
Runa still needs help. I have to think about something. Maybe…
An idea came to me. Then I reached for my phone from where I left it.
First, I’ll have to message both Hina and Yui in private, separately…
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Morning of Sunday, the beginning of the 4th week of May.
I am wearing my favorite clothes this morning. A frilly pale blue camisole layered beneath a cropped cardigan. My favorite high-waisted skirt with gentle pleats that sway just above my knees. My shoes, white with modest heels. I used my usual pair of small, glossy pink bead hair elastics to tie my high twin tails. I liked how everything came together.
Beside me on my left, is Yui, who just had her third yawn ever since she arrived at my house this morning. Her eyes are still half closed and she was rubbing one of them with her fingers while she yawned.
It’s already 9 a.m., for goodness sake.
Yui is wearing an oversized T-shirt with an embroidered teddy bear taking a nap as a design on its chest. The front hem is casually tucked under her shorts while she leaves the rest to hang loose. A cute star-shaped hairpin decorates the left side of her bangs while her short chestnut brown hair falls just above her shoulders.
“Yui, wake up,” I told her.
“Mmmnnn…” Yui only murmured.
“There’s no way you’re still sleepy at this hour.”
“But you basically held me hostage last night and kept me up until past midnight.”
“We had to discuss something important.”
“I know, but if I am sleepy, then I am sleepy.”
…
I shook my head slightly. I guess I’ll just have to try to ignore Yui’s yawns. There are more important things to think about at this point.
I turned toward Hina, walking slightly ahead on my right. Tall, perfect figure, long black hair, pretty, and mature. She’s wearing a rose pink one-piece dress with the skirt running down just below her knees. She’s wearing sandals this time, but instead of looking casual because of them, she looks more feminine. I guess that’s what you should expect from her.
“Hina,” I called, “sorry about my brother.”
Hina turned her head toward me.
“It’s fine, you were there to save me, right?” Hina replied with a wink.
“I mean, he was not always like this, but lately he’s changed and started behaving unacceptably.”
That’s right, we could’ve gone to Runa’s house much earlier if not for my big brother’s interference. Of all the days he could choose to wake up early in the morning, he chose today. The day when I told Hina and Yui to come to my house early. And as soon as he saw Hina come in, he started hitting on her. Of course I would intervene. He’s not the same brother I know. If he gets together with Hina with how he has become, he’ll just ruin her life. The same thing happened last year as well, when he started hitting on Runa. I’ve told him multiple times to cut it out, and he did for a little while. But when he started doing it again, Runa stopped hanging out with me at my house. What a creep.
But that’s beside the point.
I am also worried about other things. I don’t want to think about my stupid brother and his stupid behavior right now. What’s more important is Runa.
“Do you think the plan would work?” I asked Hina.
“Of course it will. It's your plan after all,” Hina answered.
That doesn’t sound reassuring. I mean, I am already thinking of many possibilities of how this plan would fall apart with the wrong things happening at once. What would we do if we got to that point then?
I don’t know. All I know is that we’re already in front of the small gate to Runa’s house. So, I took a deep breath.
“Don’t worry,” Yui said beside me. “With the acting skills I’ve gained from watching dramas, I’m sure everything will go smoothly.”
Acting what? Why do we need to act again? I know we need to lie, but do we really have to make it seem like we’re going to perform in a play? What is this girl thinking?
Now I am more worried…
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I checked the time from my phone. It’s already 9:16 am.
Earlier Shizuna-san appeared right before us by the door. She looks proper as always, but her soft expression seems to be dimmer than usual. I saw some evidence of tiredness. But she still keeps that smile she has when she greets us.
She immediately led us toward the living room where we are now. Me, Yui, and Hina sat on a long sofa, Yui took the middle spot, I sat on her right and Hina sat on her left. When Yui started swinging her feet while sitting, I started to get annoyed. While I was sitting there being anxious, here comes Yui playing around like nothing’s about to happen.
“Stop that,” I whispered to Yui.
“Stop what?” Yui whispered back.
“Your feet, it’s distracting me.”
“Okay…” Yui said then stopped and suddenly became quiet.
Am I imagining things? It doesn’t seem like the Yui I know who always finds a way to continue annoying me.
I carefully looked at her face.
Then I knew. She's also nervous. Her eyes keep looking around, and she’s gripping the sofa hard and then letting go, then she repeats it.
I leaned forward a bit to look at Hina. She’s calm. That assured me for a minute. At least someone is really prepared to execute the plan.
Please, Hina. I am counting on you.
Shizuna-san comes back from the kitchen, she’s holding a tray with three glasses of orange juice, then she places them on the table right in front of us.
“Wait here, while I call for Runa,” she said as she walked toward the doorway.
“Excuse me, Miyase-san,” Hina called for Shizuna-san’s attention.
Shizuna-san stops right before exiting. She turns around toward us. “You can just call me, Shizuna,” she said.
I feel like I shouldn’t let Hina do the talking alone. So I replied, “Well, Shizuna-san. We would like to get permission to ask Runa to come study with us in the library in town,” I said.
I wonder if it’s the right decision to take over from Hina, or maybe I should’ve just let her do the talking?
I found my answer by how Shizuna-san’s expression changed. From forcing herself to look cheerful, her face transformed to look more stern. Shizuna-san crossed her arms and stared at the three of us with a frown. She walked closer until she ended up standing right before us. Yui froze beside me. I looked at her in disbelief… Why are you looking so guilty? Where is your acting skill now when we need it? Unbelievable.
I nudged her for a bit. But she only turned toward me with an awkward smile.
“No,” Shizuna-san answered. “If you need to study, you can just study with her here at home.”
Okay, this is as far as I think I can do. At this point, I already don’t know what to say.
“But there are things we can use as reference to help us study in the library,” Hina replied.
Nice going, Hina.
“Can you just use the internet to find those references?” Shizuna-san said.
“Yes, but books are still the more informative option,” Hina replied.
I asked for both of their help last night because I knew that if I were alone in this situation I'd be rendered useless. And here, beside me was also someone who was being useless. Thank goodness Hina came. Otherwise, if I had done this all alone, the moment I entered the house it would have been over.
At this point, I just listened.
“How?” Shizuna-san continued.
“Because a book will always be written with a lot of care by the author,” Hina replied.
“How is that different from what is written on the internet?”
“It is, because books that are well-written have years of research that were put into them.”
“But with the internet, you can do the same.”
“Yes, but a lot of articles online can’t always be trusted.”
“How come?”
“Miyase-san, are you familiar with the saying that ‘you shouldn’t believe everything you see on the internet’?”
“I guess I heard it once from the news.”
“Right? And a lot of the things you find on the internet can’t be easily verified.”
“Hmm… maybe, but I really don’t know anything much about the internet.”
It might be just my imagination, but I feel like I just saw Hina’s eyes sparkle after what Shizuna-san just said.
“Yes, and that’s why, since books are already verified because of years of research, if we rely on the internet, it might take years for us to find reliable references we need for our study material.”
I don’t like that reply from Hina. That doesn’t make sense. Even if Shizuna-san isn’t that knowledgeable about the internet, if she at least used it a few times, she’ll know that’s a lie.
“Is that so?” Shizuna-san replied.
I let out a breath of relief. Thank goodness the internet is not for everyone yet. I don’t know if Hina deliberately calculated the risk or was just winging it, but it produced a nice result.
Shizuna-san noticed me completely relaxing my posture, and when I saw her turn toward me, I straightened up. Then she looked toward Yui who was still completely still beside me. Yui noticed Shizuna-san’s eye on her and from being still and not moving, she started swinging her feet like before, stared at the ceiling, and then whistled.
I raised my hand by reflex.
“Shizuna-san, um, can we borrow your bathroom for a second? I think Yui needs to use your toilet,” I said as I stood up.
Yui whispered to me, “I don—” but I interrupted her with a pinch on her back. Impressively, she didn’t let out a sound. “Y-yes, Miyase-san, please let me use your toilet,” she begged.
“Do you need to go together?” Shizuna-san asked.
“Mhm.” I nodded. “Yui is kind of shy, so she needs someone to accompany her at least by the door if she’s in another house,” I replied.
“That’s weird. I know it’s been a long time since Yui’s last visit here, but I don’t remember her being shy,” Shizuna-san said.
“Umm… Well, you know, since it’s been a long time… umm… I-I’ve become more shy…” Yui answered.
“I see. Well, I guess that makes sense, since back then you were still in your second year of middle school. You looked shorter back then. I guess it makes sense that your personality would change as you grow through the years, especially when you entered high school,” Shizuna-san replied. “My, that’s too bad then. I kind of miss those times when we talked about silly stuff and dramas together.”
I glanced at Yui and saw her eyes start to well up. Is nostalgia hitting her right now? So I immediately pulled her out of the living room. I excused the both of us to Shizuna-san, then took a peek at Hina. Hina just winked at me.
At this point, if Yui and I stay, we’ll just become a liability. Better we retreat now and wait a couple minutes before we go back. Hina, I leave the rest to you.
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It’s already 9:42 am. That took longer than expected. I wonder if Runa will have time to study the materials she hasn’t covered yet.
I looked at her. She doesn’t look the same as how she was when we saw her come down from her room. Her hair is not a mess anymore, she’s dressed more proper now, with her fitted light yellow short-sleeved shirt, paired with skinny jeans, and white rubber shoes. At first glance, you will think that she’s probably fine. But if you look at her eyes, the soreness is still there. And she’s also forcing a smile. She doesn’t look the same as she did, but she’s still feeling the same as she felt.
“How did you do it?” Yui asked Hina. “I mean, when we came back, suddenly Runa’s mom gave us permission. What did you do when we were gone?”
“I just tried to convince her,” Hina answered.
“How?” I asked out of curiosity. Indeed, to me, everything that went down in that living room looked like a magician pulling some tricks out of her bag.
“I showed Miyase-san the materials we are going to tackle, and explained to her why we needed to be in the library,” Hina said with a smile.
“Is that it?” I did not sound convinced. I mean, it’s that simple? Maybe there was something more, but Hina isn’t the kind to elaborate on her thoughts, not like she can’t, but it’s more like she’s just summarizing everything for us, and hiding important details from us. I’m totally curious now, but it’s my fault for leaving the room.
No…
It’s Yui’s fault.
“Anyway, Yui, I thought you would show us your great acting like you said before we went in,” I said to her.
“Ah, well, I showed a different kind of acting. Hehe.” Yui laughed it off.
“Yeah, acting like a robot,” I replied.
“No, I wasn’t!”
“Yes, you were!”
“No! You’re just jealous because I was a really good actress.”
“Explain?”
“I don’t need to explain, I mean did you hear me whistle?”
“Yes, and it was awful.”
Yui pouted after my remark.
“You’re awful, look at you. You’re just like Runa’s mom, crossing your arms like that and frowning at me.”
“What? I’m not—” I looked at my arms. They were indeed crossed.
“See, scary,” Yui said.
“I don’t think it’s nice to say Miyase-san is scary, she really wasn't. She was actually rather nice,” Hina said.
Yui and I looked at Hina for a second. “Sorry,” both of us said.
Wait… why am I also apologizing?
I heard someone giggle behind me and Yui and both of us turned. It was Runa. It doesn’t look like she’s forcing herself this time. It sounded genuine.
I smiled. I’m glad at least she’s feeling a little better now to laugh. I walked toward her and we started walking together. Yui joined us, and walked beside me, while Hina walked beside Runa. We never really asked Runa how she’s doing. I mean, we didn’t need to. We can see with our own eyes. And asking her felt wrong in a way. We just wanted her to feel better. And that’s why we’re walking beside her.
We reached the train station about five minutes later. We stood at the entrance first, before we entered. I thought it would be the best time to tell Runa what this plan was supposed to be.
“Runa,” I said. “I think this is where we split.”
“Hmm? What do you mean?” Runa asked.
“She means, you’re going to Shadow Prince’s apartment,” Yui answered for me.
“Huh? Eh? What’s going on?” Runa’s eyes widened and she looked at us like she wanted to know if we’re telling the truth.
“Well, the plan all along is to get you out of your house, and then we let you go on your way. You know, to go study with him,” I replied.
“Really!?”
“Mika was the one who thought of the plan,” Yui enthusiastically revealed.
Runa looked at me, her eyes started to well up with tears.
“Careful with your makeup,” I reminded her.
Runa started biting her lips and fanning her eyes with her hands. I laughed. Then suddenly she hugged me.
“Thank you,” Runa whispered.
“Then I need one more pudding tomorrow,” I said.
“Awww,” Yui made a sound and hugged both of us.
Then I felt Hina’s hands touch the top of our heads one by one.
After that…
We went inside the station and parted ways with her in the lobby. She looked excited, almost running toward the platform where the train she needs to ride is. She would turn sometimes and wave, and then she turned toward a corner and there she went.
I exhaled a little bit.
“Look at Runa, so happy to go meet her prince,” Yui said.
“You’re still onto that?” I replied, judging her for always forcing romance fantasy onto others. “You should know by now that they aren’t actually a thing.”
“Why? Don’t you—”
“Yui, making assumptions without evidence is bad,” Hina interrupted Yui.
“Hnnngh, why are both of you so stubborn about romance!” Yui pouted. “This doesn’t make sense at all, you’re supposed to be a teenage girl like me.” Yui looked at me specifically when she said the latter.
“...Are you saying that to just me?” I asked to confirm if she really intended to say what she said only to me.
“Because you’re always studying. When was the last time you even liked someone? I think if you find a boyfriend you’ll be able to relax more,” Yui answered.
“Huh? What does that have to do with anything?”
“I mean, don’t you feel bad?”
“About?”
“About those boys you rejected last year. You could’ve accepted at least one of them and enjoyed your youth.”
“I am enjoying my youth now.”
“Studying in your room?”
“Yes, thank you. And besides, you know how bad those confessions were. And I don’t have any time to spare for those kinds of things.”
Yui’s expression suddenly shifted. She’s now smirking..
“Oh, they were bad, alright,” Yui said. “Fujimoto-senpai, from last year. He was a second year student back then and was running to become the president of the student council.”
“Stop!” I shouted at Yui. I didn’t know whether to cover my ears so I can’t hear what she’s saying or to cover my face to hide my embarrassment.
“During the election, he went up to the podium. And instead of giving his speech, he started mentioning your name. Then read a poem, talked about the bees and the birds, the blues and the violets, and compared you to a rose that bloomed in the morning. Then, when everybody turned their attention to you, you just glared at him. In fact you glared at him so badly that when he finally decided to give his speech he started crying. And because of that he lost. I heard he transferred schools after a few months.”
“That wasn’t my fault, I was still wearing glasses back then and I forgot them in my bag. It was a mandatory assembly so I just hurried there without my glasses. And also I wasn’t paying attention to what he was saying since I was focused on seeing what’s in front of me, but still…”
“Tanaka-kun.”
She’s still going!?
“He confessed to you during lunch break at the beginning of the school year last year. You rejected him right then and there in front of everyone in the classroom,” Yui continued.
“His timing was bad, we were eating. Why would someone even confess in front of others while they were busy having lunch?”
“So, you would’ve accepted if you weren’t?”
“...No.”
“See! After that Tanaka-kun didn’t eat lunch for days from being heartbroken.”
“That’s a lie! How did you even know that?”
Yui blinked. “Peripheral vision.”
I just hit my forehead with my palm. I shouldn’t even have asked.
“Yui,” Hina suddenly said.
“What?” Yui turned toward Hina.
“Yamada-kun,” Hina said. And as soon as Yui heard what she said, Yui’s expression changed.
“Wait. Hina, that’s different!”
“During our third year of middle school, he said you were cute in class and then you knocked down your pencil case, you stood up, and apologized to the pencil case for five minutes.”
“I-I was stressed that day!”
“Goto-kun,” Hina continued. “You asked me to turn him down on your behalf and pretended to have diarrhea. And you hid in the bathroom for twenty minutes.”
“I wasn’t really hiding, I was—”
“You messaged me ‘Hina help there’s a boy’ and sent me a selfie of you hiding in the stall.”
I tried at first, but I couldn’t hold my laughter after that one. That’s the first time I heard a different side of Yui. I didn’t go to the same middle school as her, Runa and Hina, so knowing more about Yui is kind of a pleasant surprise, and funny.
“Hey it’s not funny,” Yui said to me.
“Yui, you were worse than me.” I replied while still laughing.
“No, it’s different, it’s like a disease… This is not fair!”
“What kind of disease?”
Yui was quiet.
“Aww, little Yui being shy around boys I see, even though you always dream about romance.” I teased her.
“Stop!” Yui pouted.
I laughed for a bit longer, but when I settled down I turned toward Hina.
“How about y—”
I was interrupted by her stare.
“N-nevermind,” I just said.
“Let’s head toward the library then and study,” Hina said, smiling at me.
“Seriously,” Yui replied. “It’s Sunday, let’s go window shopping at the mall instead!”
“Yui, we already planned last night that we’re really going to the library after Runa leaves,” I said. “Didn’t you read what I messaged you?”
“Uhh… well… I only read the part about Runa, I might have accidentally erased the part where we have to go study later from my memories.” Yui looked at me and she let out a sigh after she saw my frown. “Fine… Library it is.”
“Let’s go then,” Hina said.
I watched them walk first toward another platform. Before I decided to follow, I looked one last time in the direction where Runa disappeared.
I stared for a few more seconds. Then a thought appeared in my head…
Love… huh?