Chapter 7: Three Questions

Dinner was much of the same. Jaziel popped in for a moment to grab a bite before excusing himself to do some more work. Jamila talked to Iselle and Caelis and the dinner became lively. It was warm. But Shani couldn’t concentrate fully as a question began pressing at her thoughts. One she had forgotten until now.

Prick-ear.

She never had a chance to ask anyone. Was there someone to ask? And no matter how much she stirred her cider, the question refused to leave. She knew they were talking about her, but why? What did the word mean? It sounded kinda cruel so she wasn’t sure it was just a way to explain pointed ears or not.

“...ni.”

A voice called but Shani continued to look into her goblet. The amber liquid looked like melted gold.

“...ani.”

And what about her mother? Was she really going to replace her father like Nimue said?

“Shani!”

Shani startled, nearly knocking over her goblet. She turned her gaze to the head of the table and noticed her mother was looking at her. No… not just her mother. Everyone was looking at her. Shani’s cheeks warmed. She bit her lip.

“I’m sorry… what?” she asked. Jamila’s brows knitted together but she sighed and smiled. Shani could tell she was still worried.

“How was your day today?” she asked, her eyes widening expectantly. Shani played with her sash under the table. What was she supposed to say? Could she ask her mother about what she heard?

No… there were a lot of eyes and what if it was a bad word. She didn’t want Caelis to learn it. She couldn’t tell her about the physical or etiquette classes either… Her failure was too embarrassing.

“Okay…” Shani said with a stiff smile. Then she turned her attention back to her plate and began shoveling food into her mouth. The rest of dinner passed in a blur and Shani had no memory of it.

Once dinner was over, Shani gave Iselle and Caelis a hug before taking her mother’s hand and heading back toward their room. Once inside, Jamila locked the door and Shani disrobed and put on a nightgown. Her mother wiped her down with warm water and tucked her into the bed.

Then, she finally removed Shani’s bracelet.

Shani let out a sigh. It didn’t hurt to wear it but her body always felt… fuzzy. Numb, almost. Jamila sat at the vanity and began to brush her long white waves. Shani noticed it looked shorter than it had been. By quite a bit.

“Mama… did you cut your hair?”

Jamila looked over her shoulder toward Shani. A slight blush crossed her cheeks.

“Yes… I thought your father would like it.”

Shani tilted her head. Why would a grown man want someone else’s hair? It made no sense to her but then again, most adult things didn’t. After Jamila finished her hair and wiped her own body down, she crawled into bed and pulled her daughter close.

“Now… would you care to tell me how your day actually went?” Jamila propped her head up with one arm. With her other hand, she reached toward Shani and stroked the delicate points of her ears. Shani’s eyes widened. She gently pushed Jamila’s hand away, then froze. For the first time, she noticed how different her skin tone was from her mother’s.

“What’s wrong, lovely?” Jamila asked. Her tone was calm but concern painted every part of her face.

She didn’t know what was wrong. Her mother had always touched her ears like this. She loved the touch. But today… everything seemed wrong. Her skin. Her ears. The way she felt… everything.

“I… I’m too big to be fussed over… I’m almost eight,” Shani said, her eyes not meeting Jamila’s.

“I see…” Jamila stared at her daughter for a moment before taking a deep breath and lying back on the bed.

“Alright then… why don’t you ask me questions instead?” she said after a moment. Shock crossed Shani’s expression. She opened her mouth to speak but Jamila held up three fingers.

“You only get three… I’m a Djinn, not a dictionary.” Her smile was smug and Shani couldn’t help the pout. Her mother was so childish sometimes. She sat up in bed and tapped her fingers against the sheets. Jamila watched her carefully.

“Mama… our patron God is Noxis… and she is usually a girl, right?” Shani finally glanced toward Jamila. A smile spread across Jamila’s lips.

“Is that your first question?” she asked with a singular raised brow. Shani shook her head.

“No! Let me finish!” she demanded. Jamila motioned for her to continue as she got comfier in bed.

“If a girl is our God, and she is the protector of women and children… why are girls treated as less important than boys?” she asked. Jamila froze. Her lips formed a thin line as she processed the question.

“That’s a diffi—”

“I mean… it makes no sense! Shouldn’t the boys be the ones lowering their heads?!” Shani exclaimed, thoroughly confused. She leaned back into the bed. Jamila couldn’t help the quiet laugh that escaped her.

“That’s a difficult question, love…” Jamila admitted softly.

“Noxis blessed the first of our bloodline. That’s why we sometimes get lavender eyes,” Jamila said as she gently poked Shani’s nose.

“But… sometimes stories get twisted and changed until they benefit someone other than the people they were meant to.” Jamila smiled faintly, though sadness lingered behind it.

Shani frowned slightly. “That’s confusing…”

“True… but religion usually is…” she said softly. Shani stared blankly at the ceiling for a moment.

“Is Noxis even real?”

Jamila snickered. “If I was mean, I would count that as your second question.”

Shani turned her head to look at her mother. “But you won’t…”

Jamila nodded. “I won’t.”

Then Jamila pushed herself upright, adjusting the pillows behind her back. She looked out the window towards the starry sky beyond.

“I think so… I would like to believe she is real, at least.” Jamila’s eyes grew distant for a moment before snapping back to Shani, a playful smile on her lips.

“Besides… how cool would it be to meet someone who can turn into a crow?”

Shani smiled and scooted closer. “So cool!” she replied in earnest. If the Gods really did exist, Shani would like to see their animal forms at least once. She knew what people looked like… but animals were always cool no matter how many times you saw them.

Jamila’s smile warmed. She scooted a little closer to Shani and waited for a moment.

“Alright… two more.”

Shani pursed her lips. Thankfully, the next question came much quicker.

“Mama… am I going to have another dad?” Shani asked, and Jamila’s eyes widened. She froze in place, unmoving as a statue for a couple breaths before she finally thawed.

“What?” The tone was blunt, unlike anything Shani had heard from her before. It was almost like her mother thought she was dreaming or something. Shani wrung her hands in the pale sheets.

“Nimue said you were going to remarry and I had to be a good role model for my future little brother.” Shani vomited out the words. Jamila sat there frozen once more, but this time there was a frown on her face. She let out a frustrated sigh before massaging her temples.

“Nimue is going senile. Ignore her if she ever says something like that again,” she said between agitated huffs of air. Shani crawled closer and gripped her mother’s nightgown in one hand.

“So… I’m not getting another dad?”

Jamila stopped massaging her temples and looked towards her daughter. Her eyes softened as she reached out and stroked Shani’s springy curls.

“Do you want one?”

Shani shook her head vigorously. Jamila smiled and pulled her daughter’s head closer until their foreheads touched.

“I don’t want one either…”

Silence followed once more, but this time it was warm and comforting. Jamila let Shani go, and a moment later the young girl had tucked herself beneath her mother’s arm. Shani wrapped her arms around Jamila’s waist.

“What is Dad like?” she asked, her lavender eyes gleaming with anticipation. Jamila smiled sadly.

“I don’t know what he’s like now… but when he was younger…” She paused, getting her thoughts in order before continuing.

“He was quiet, but attentive. He could be super blunt at times, but gentle too… although in his own unique ways.” Jamila rambled out the thoughts but froze when she noticed her daughter tilt her head.

“I suppose you would have to meet him to understand…” she mumbled. She tapped her lips, then a smile spread once more.

“He had ears like yours… although much longer points,” she began. Her eyes sparkled as she recalled the memories. “He was fast, quick-witted, and cared about others a lot… also like you.” Jamila placed a kiss on her daughter’s forehead. Shani felt warm inside as she repeated the words in her head over and over again.

Shani yawned. She snuggled in closer as Jamila played with her curls. “Will I ever get to meet him?”

It was quiet, except for the sound of her mother’s heartbeat. A steady, soft rhythm that seemed to calm Shani down even more. She felt her mother’s arms tighten around her.

“Someday…” Jamila replied. But even nearly asleep, Shani could hear a slight hint of doubt in her tone.

“You still have a question…” Jamila said. Shani glanced up at her through sleepy eyes. She yawned once more. She could ask her mother about the word she heard. But for some reason, it didn’t hurt as much anymore. And Shani needed to sleep in order to wake up early for town.

“Save it… I’ll use it later…” she mumbled groggily. Her mother’s chest moved with what she knew was a laugh. She felt her mother shift carefully beneath her before the sheets were pulled up over her shoulders.

“Goodnight… lovely,” Jamila whispered as she pressed a warm kiss on Shani’s temple. As if she had been waiting for that, the darkness finally took her.