Author's Preface
“Wrong. Slouching!”
Nimue’s voice cracked sharply through the room. The thin practice rod in her hand smacked against Shani’s lower back. Shani straightened instantly. The young princess’s eyes met Nimue’s with a plea.
“But… I’ve been standing forever…” Shani whined. Another quick tap of the practice rod landed against her backside. It seemed the plea, once more, did not work.
“And ladies do not make excuses,” Nimue retorted. Shani loved Nimue… but she truly was a hard person to please at times. Shani rubbed at her backside, trying to ease the sting.
“Why do I even have to learn this… everyone can stand,” she grumbled, and for once didn’t care about the smack. Nimue sighed as she rubbed the space between her brows.
“There is always a proper way to do something… even standing.” Nimue’s tone was softer now, but her eyes were still hard. Shani adjusted awkwardly, catching her bottom lip between her teeth. She wasn’t sure why, but it felt comforting. But what Nimue said stuck in her head.
Why?
Why were there rules about everything? Why couldn’t she just be her? Why did everyone have to pretend? She swallowed the thoughts. Nimue looked quite agitated today, and she didn’t want to bug her with more questions than she had to.
“Besides… you are about to turn eight… that’s the age most gentlemen and ladies are allowed to attend teas and balls,” she said as she rested both hands over the rod in front of her skirt. Shani sighed. She wanted a break.
“Well… I don’t plan on joining them anyway…” she mumbled once more. Another whack landed, this time on her head.
She caught movement from the corner of her eye and noticed Caelis had straightened, staring at Shani over the top of his book. He had finished up his practice a while ago but didn’t want to leave for some reason. Shani offered him a strained smile before turning her attention back to Nimue.
Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry…
“Parties are mandatory for the royal blood. You will have to attend eventually.” Nimue’s tone was cold and distant. She always got that way when it came to what she and her mother had to do. Shani pouted.
Forget crying. She was frustrated now. Fine. If Nimue wanted a lady standing, she would give her one. She clasped her hands neatly in front of her and lifted her chin, trying her best to imitate the way her mother stood when greeting people.
Another tap landed against the top of her head. Shani rubbed at the sore spot with a small glare.
“Too high.”
Shani blinked at her in disbelief.
“Mama stands like that all the time!” Her voice came out much louder than she intended. Nimue’s eyes widened as Shani’s face flushed crimson. The young girls’ features contorted. Nimue let out a sigh.
“Your mother is the Empress. She is afforded certain… privileges,” she adjusted her own posture, demonstrating.
“You are a young lady. When a man greets you, your head must remain lowered.”
Shani’s shoulders sagged as her eyes traced the “proper” position. She nibbled her lip for a moment.
“But I’m an only child… wouldn’t that make me the future Empress?” she asked. Her face was full of confusion. “Don’t I get privileges too?”
“You are a girl,” Nimue replied sharply. Shani felt herself shrink beneath the comment.
“Mom’s a girl too…” Shani mumbled once more. Her eyes widened when Nimue raised the rod. Shani quickly covered her head. Her hands stung with the sudden force.
“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to mumble…” Shani said. Nimue sighed and lowered the rod in front of herself.
“Her Majesty will meet someone at a party and marry,” Nimue explained. “And when she does… don’t you want to be presentable and a good role model for your new father and little brother?” Nimue’s face softened as she leaned over to meet Shani’s eyes. Then her attention landed on Shani’s bracelet. A sour look crossed her face, causing the lines between her brows to deepen. Shani pulled her hands behind her back.
“I have a dad…” Shani’s voice dropped lower, barely above a whisper. She stared daggers at Nimue. Nimue stood and took a step back before clearing her throat.
“Yes, well… unfortunately, without a temple marriage and due to…” Nimue’s eyes drifted toward Shani’s ears. “Circumstances. That man will never do.”
Tears welled in Shani’s eyes before spilling over. Nimue’s eyes widened, and Shani was sure she heard someone running, but she couldn’t focus on it. She wiped at the tears, but more replaced them.
“Why… Why are you being so mean today, Nimue…” Shani stuttered. Nimue’s mouth formed a thin line. She dropped to her knees and grasped the young child’s shoulders.
“Everything I do… it is to look out for you and your mother,” she said with a gentle smile as she wiped Shani’s tears away. Shani’s lip quivered as she reached for Nimue’s hand.
“You understand that… right, Shani?” Her smile was gentle, if a little awkward. Shani nodded and leaned into the older woman’s hand. Nimue cupped her cheeks and smiled at her.
“I’m sorry… it’s just how it is here. But I will make you a promise,” she continued. Shani looked at her, confused.
“A promise?”
Nimue nodded.
“Yes… when your mother remarries… I will let you have the final pick of the ones I pick out.” Shani froze. She was still talking about that? Why? Why was it so important that Shani get a new dad? Was there really no other way? She wanted the conversation to stop, so she pushed Nimue’s hands away and nodded. Nimue beamed.
She was about to say something when a light knock echoed. Shani turned to see her aunt, Iselle, standing in the doorway to the ballroom. A bashful smile tugged at her lips. Nimue straightened and offered her a deep bow.
“Consort Iselle, what brings you here?” Nimue asked, watching the woman carefully from under her lashes. Caelis popped out from behind his mother. His eyes immediately found Shani, concern written across his face.
“It’s getting rather late… so I thought I would prepare the children for dinner today.” She smiled. Shani knew her mother was a beauty, but Iselle had a certain delicate charm too. She had pale ivory skin, icy blue eyes, and straight strawberry-blonde hair.
Even her freckles looked ethereal, like stars.
Nimue’s mouth tightened. “I’m afraid I am still in the middle of the Princess’s etiquette lesson.”
Iselle’s smile faded as she crossed her arms. She looked Shani over carefully before returning her attention to Nimue.
“I believe she has had enough for the day.” Iselle held out a hand. Shani glanced between her and Nimue for a moment before walking over to her aunt. Nimue didn’t fight it.
“Understood.” Shani couldn’t help but notice the frustration etched across the older woman’s features. Iselle smiled brightly before turning both children around and nudging them away from the ballroom. Shani met Caelis’s eyes once more, realization dawning.
“Did you grab your mom?” she asked in a whisper. Caelis fiddled with his fingers for a moment.
“You were crying…”
Shani’s lip trembled, but she forced it still. She reached out and grabbed Caelis’s hand. Iselle patted both children’s heads but remained behind them, giving a gentle nudge here and there to guide them toward the dining hall.
Shani looked up and met Iselle’s eyes. Iselle smiled and gently stroked her temple. Same eyes. She and Caelis had the same soft eyes. Shani smiled brightly and slowly began to pick up the pace.
She suddenly felt very hungry.
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