Chapter 35: When the Angel commits a sin

Author's Preface

Everyone on my team had been listening to all my commands so far. Up until then, I let the current set of the practice match proceed normally.

We set a rule to play a set, then rotate two players off the court. They would be replaced by two others who were on standby, and the ones being replaced would do the same for two players who needed rest. We continued that until we got a total of three sets played and everyone had a chance to rest and play. Overall, there were ten players participating in the tournament. But some of our classmates volunteered to help us. Most of them were on my team.

I joined in the middle of the set where the score was 2 to 14 in favor of Mika and Yui’s team. We managed to catch up and tied the score at 23–23. Although it took a lot of effort to climb back from the deficit, the fact that Mika was still annoyed with me, and Yui was a little confused, was enough to neutralize their defense and offense at the same time.

But I could see by the look in Mika and Yui’s eyes that when we caught up to them, they finally snapped back to taking the match seriously.

I tried to hide a smirk, amused by the fact that Mika was clueless about what was going to happen. I knew she would think that everything was just part of the competition. I used some dirty tactics here and there: targeting their weakest defender, stalling the match by calling a timeout after each play, making Yui run from one end of the court to the other. Each one of them was dirty in the eyes of a purist, but this was a practice match. As long as it wasn’t blatantly evil, everything was fair. And because of that, I knew Mika would overlook the dirtiness of my tricks. She was stubborn enough to accept the challenge instead. She knew at that moment that I was not afraid to do anything to win, and from what I knew of her, she would want to show me that talent could overcome any kind of underhanded trick. Winning fair and square was part of her beliefs; that was why she had to declare her rivalry with Runa when it came to Rei. And after riling up her competitive side like that and making her accept that anything could happen, I figured it was about time for me to give her a little hint of what to expect for the rest of the practice match.

The server from Mika’s team finally served the ball toward my team. When I saw the ball travel in the air, I sprinted up front immediately while one of our defenders, who ended up in the front row because of our rotation, moved toward the back to fill in the defensive gap I made. Our middle blocker, who was also our main attacker, readied herself a little behind, preparing to gather momentum when she needed to jump for my toss. I looked at her before I reached the net as the setter.

“Aim near Mika’s feet,” I told her.

Immediately, her eyes widened for a moment before she responded with a nod. I did notice a grin that she quickly hid. And that grin was exactly what I was hoping to see.

This girl, Sasaki Azami, I knew her too well. Taller than I was, with a muscular body for a girl. Hair that she preferred to keep short and dyed crimson. Cut in uneven layers and spiked upward and outward, with jagged tapered strands forming a wild, tousled silhouette. Narrow, half-lidded eyes that gave her a calm, almost sleepy look. A wild animal through and through.

She was one of those rare classmates I always kept my eyes on. Why?

Because I was wary of her… that was before…

Sasaki always had some deep-seated animosity toward Mika. Last year, Mika got into the girls' volleyball club and became one of the regulars immediately. Sasaki, who had also joined but was unfortunately stuck on the bench, didn't like that. She became jealous of Mika. Sasaki felt like she deserved the spot more than Mika, since in her eyes, Mika was a nobody. And Sasaki was the best player in her middle school. She wanted that position, she trained really hard for it, trying to prove to everyone else that she was better than Mika.

Yet, this year… Mika just quit.

Sasaki felt humiliated by it. What was the point of all that she had worked for? What had her pride, beliefs, and determination been for? They all stopped meaning anything when Mika left. Because even with all that deep hatred, Sasaki still admired Mika as an athlete. And before Mika could acknowledge Sasaki… Mika was gone. Even if Sasaki got that regular position she had been pursuing, in her mind, was it worth it?

It made that admiration she felt start melting away, soaked up by the soil to feed her hatred.

That was why, that was exactly why I chose her to be the pawn to exact my revenge. Animals could be tamed if you offered them food, after all.

I moved near the net and waited for the ball to come. One of the defenders from the back managed to stop the strong serve, bumping the ball into the air and angling it toward me. But before the ball reached me, I signaled Sasaki with my eyes. Then she ran to the front and jumped. I tossed her the ball perfectly. And when I looked at Sasaki, I could see her eyes locked onto Mika.

The predator finally got the opportunity to pounce on her prey.

When the volleyball reached Sasaki’s range, she used all her momentum from jumping up high and put all her strength into spiking the ball. Not how I instructed her, not even toward Mika’s feet. Instead, Sasaki spiked the ball directly at Mika. Just as I hoped she would do.

Mika panicked when she saw the ball heading directly toward her, yet she still had enough composure to try to dodge. But she wasn’t fast enough. The ball hit her left shoulder, making her grimace and clutch it with her hand. She groaned a little and grit her teeth to fight the pain. Everyone on her team gathered around her and started asking if she was fine. Even Runa stood up from the bench she was sitting on, contemplating whether she should run to see if Mika was okay.

Mika nodded to them, assuring everyone else that she was fine. I knew she would. Because I knew that wasn’t enough. It shouldn’t be enough. And there was more coming her way.

I looked at Sasaki, pretending to frown at her. Even though, inside, I was overjoyed by her performance.

“S-sorry,” Sasaki muttered, bowing her head slightly and scratching behind her neck.

I gestured for Sasaki to apologize to Mika instead. And Sasaki did. But she did it so nonchalantly that I knew she was going to do it again. All she needed was my instruction. And that would be just like permission for her.

Because if she was found out, she could always put the blame on me.

Which was fine; I was anticipating that possibility anyway. But I wondered if she really thought it was that easy to pin the blame on me. I fought the urge to laugh. This day had turned out to be so amusing. There were fools everywhere, and they were all just letting me play with them.

“Are you okay, Mika?” I asked, pretending to be concerned.

Mika gave me a frown.

“This is nothing,” she said, standing up and settling back into her position.

“Good then,” I said, nodding as if accepting her determination. But deep inside, I was excited. Excited that she still wouldn’t give up. “Our serve,” I continued.

My eyes gazed toward the scoreboard. 23–24, set point for us. Just one more point for my team, and then we would take a short break and rotate players. I initially thought the next set would be where I’d start breaking Mika down further. But I was getting impatient. After witnessing it for the first time, I needed more.

This time, I needed something big. Something that would make Mika understand the humiliation she had put me through during lunch break.

Before the serve, I signaled to the flashy girl acting as the referee for another timeout. She hesitated, frowning at us, but it only took one pleading smile from me to make her give in. I gathered my team and instructed Sasaki once again.

“Be careful next time,” I told her, raising an eyebrow so I wouldn’t look suspicious to the others.

“S-sorry,” Sasaki apologized, even though I knew she was eager to repeat what she had done.

“It’s fine, it was an accident,” one of the girls said, which was good.

“Do a better job of controlling the ball next time,” I instructed, facing Sasaki so she knew I was addressing her directly.

Her eyes widened again, followed by a hidden grin, just like earlier.

“Next time?” the same random girl asked. “Why?”

“Mika’s weakness is her defense,” I explained. “If we target her, we're guaranteed to take the point.”

“But…” another girl hesitated.

“There was an accident, sure. But we can trust Sasaki because she’s on the volleyball team,” I continued, then stared at Sasaki. “You can control the ball, right?” I asked firmly.

“I wouldn’t be able to promise that,” Sasaki answered. “I always put a lot of strength into my spikes, and sometimes I can’t control the ball.”

Liar… I knew full well Sasaki could. But I needed that answer. And I needed the next question that one of these girls would ask.

“If that’s the case, then shouldn’t we come up with another strategy?”

And there it was. One of them took the bait.

“Yes,” I nodded at the suggestion. “Besides Mika and that, umm…”

“Ayane-chan?” Sasaki supplied the name.

“Umm, yes. Ayane-chan…” I didn’t care, though; she wasn’t important to me. “Besides them, their defense is solid. And we have been targeting Ayane-chan so many times already. They should be prepared for it.”

Everyone stood and listened. None of them doubted a single word I said. Simple logic was more than enough to sway their minds.

“To prevent any more accidents,” I turned to Sasaki. “Aim close to Mika, but aim to her right.”

“Why?” Sasaki asked.

“Mika should already be anticipating another attack directed toward her,” I said. “She’ll be ready this time. She’ll dodge to her left, and instead of letting Yui receive the ball, Mika will still try to save it, even if she’s off-balance.”

“If that’s the case… then…”

“Right,” I nodded to the girl who spoke. “Fewer chances of an accident, and more chances for us to score.”

Everyone marveled in awe, their eyes beginning to sparkle with hope. The team that had practically toyed with them earlier was just one point away from defeat. The idea of scoring that final point seized their focus, completely burying any fear of hurting another player.

Too easy…

Everyone was far too easy…

Not even a single doubt in their minds…

Especially Sasaki, who was anticipating the restart more than anyone.

The referee blew her whistle, and we returned to our positions. I was in the front row this time, with Sasaki right behind me. I could practically feel the heat radiating from her.

I gave her permission once again. Everyone had heard it. Everyone had heard her excuse.

Now, I await your magnificent performance, Sasaki Azami…

The ball was served high toward the other team, and they managed to receive it immediately. Mika jumped toward the toss that was set up for her, but she grimaced the moment she spiked it, clearly bothered by the blow to her shoulder earlier.

Because of that…

Our defender easily dug the ball up.

I assumed my position, waiting for the ball to arc toward me. The other team’s blockers stood ready at the net. By the looks of it, they were positioning themselves directly in front of Mika to shield her.

But…

I signaled Sasaki to run to the opposite side, far away from them. She was faster than both opposing blockers. The only question was whether I could toss the ball to her in time.

As if that were ever a question.

The ball came straight to me. I pushed it upward, tossing cleanly toward Sasaki, who had already leapt and was reaching the peak of her vertical. She didn’t even need to wait. As Sasaki swung through the air, the ball met the path of her hand with perfect timing.

She spiked the ball harder than last time.

It tore across the net with lethal speed. Mika tracked the ball rushing straight at her and instinctively dodged to her left.

Straight into the ball's actual path…

I knew it. Well done, Sasaki.

The ball slammed directly into Mika’s injured shoulder. The impact thundered through the gym, echoing off the high ceiling. Everyone froze in place.

While Mika screamed in agony…

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wasn’t counting the minutes that had passed. I wasn’t looking at the scoreboard, the referee, or my teammates. From the moment Sasaki spiked the ball, my eyes were already glued to Mika.

And…

I stood there while Mika was writhing in pain on the floor, screaming her lungs out.

I stood there. When she finally grew tired of screaming, she merely started groaning, on the verge of tears.

I stood there, looking down at her, scowling at her, degrading her with my stare.

Everyone gathered around her: the referee, her teammates, my teammates. Everyone panicked. Even Sasaki stood near Mika, not knowing what to do. She didn't even celebrate how perfectly she had hit her target. She caused all of this, and I was baffled by how quickly guilt overwhelmed her. Yes, she had potentially injured one of our best players. But wasn’t this what she wanted? Wasn’t this the result of her hatred toward Mika? Yet she merely stood there, wide-eyed and confused. Pretending to care. Was she? Was it an act? I didn’t care. She might be genuinely guilty, but she still did what she did.

Pathetic.

All that eagerness from Sasaki to hurt Mika, all that joy that sparkled in Sasaki’s eyes when she thought she had an opportunity. For what? Just to feel guilty afterward. What kind of animal were you, Sasaki? You found your prey; you lunged at your prey. This should be the time when you feast on the prize you took down.

Runa squatted down, trying to assist Mika. I remembered her voice shouting in concern. I remembered her running toward Mika. What for? Mika was the one who pushed Runa away. Mika, whom Runa had known far longer than she knew me and Yui combined, had broken that friendship so easily.

Yui and Mika’s friends immediately ran out of the gym to go and ask for help.

…

I didn’t approach them. Why would I approach them? Mika deserved this. The pain she was feeling at that moment wasn’t even half of what she had caused me. She pushed me away. She treated me like I was her enemy. She tried to interrogate me, blaming me for something she didn’t even have any proof of.

How much of a snake were you, Mika?

All because you noticed Runa starting to catch feelings for Rei, you took your chance to prove you could snatch the prize without standing at the starting line first. Weaving your way through the crowd, pretending to join the race and taking the lead. Cheating your way to victory. You pretended to hate Rei, pretended you didn’t like Runa spending time with him. But in the end, you threw away everything you had just to chase him. Because you wanted to be better than Runa. Insecure little brat.

And worst of all?

Taking that one opportunity away from me, the opportunity that I had been waiting for. The opportunity that I let you and Runa have. I tried to fight fair. I tried not to disrupt either of you. Not Runa. Not you, Mika. But you couldn’t even give me an hour to enjoy what you had cheated your way to get. A time to be with him. A time for me to meet him.

This… all of this was still not enough. Get up. I knew you could. I knew that you could still stand. Get up, Mika. Face me once more. This shouldn’t be enough. I needed to break you more… I needed to…

“Asakura-san!”

I gasped.

The voice that yelled my name by the entrance of the gym snapped me back to reality. As I turned to look at my surroundings, I noticed the eyes already upon me. Staring, scared, confused. Runa was even looking at me with pure concern.

And I realized immediately that I was… half-smiling, my expression twitching into a grimace while my hands trembled at my sides.

I… Did I just slip out of my mask?

My jaw started to drop, but I immediately pressed my lips tightly shut, sinking into the horrifying gravity of what I had done.

I… Why did I go this far?

I looked toward Mika. Her face was twisted, tears flowing from her eyes as she struggled to find any position to endure the pain. Runa tried caring for Mika, telling her to stay still, resting a gentle hand on her to make sure she didn't move.

I lowered my head, bowing to everyone.

“I’m sorry.”

And I never raised my head. I turned and walked away. I tried to hide my face from the eyes that were judging me. Only the floor was safe to look at. Only the floor wouldn't condemn me right now.

“H-Hina…” Mika called out as I walked past her. Her voice strained against the stinging in her shoulder as she looked at me, one eye open and the other squeezed shut in anguish.

I ignored her.

“Hina! What’s wrong!?” Runa cried out after me.

But I kept walking.

When I reached the gym entrance, the boy who had yelled my name tried to grab my arm. But for whatever reason, he hesitated and pulled his hand back.

“Asakura-san,” he muttered worriedly. It was Takeda.

I wondered why he would even sound concerned like that. Wasn’t I the one who tried to take advantage of him? Wasn’t I the one who tried to manipulate him?

I hurt him with my words. I made him do what he didn’t want to do, all for my own selfish schemes.

Why was he even here in the first place?

I didn’t know the answer. I didn’t know what to think.

…So I ran.

I ran away from all of them.

I ran away from the guilt of what I had done.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was over.

The moment I let my emotions decide for me was when I knew that nothing would ever be the same again. In Runa’s eyes, I would be the villain who hurt her best friend. In Yui’s eyes, I would be the witch who pretended to be their friend. In Mika’s eyes, I would be her mortal enemy who used underhanded means to beat her.

All of which could be true. But all I knew for certain was that I treasured them as my friends. And I would’ve loved it if we could’ve stayed friends for a long time to come.

Yet…

When did I start becoming like this?

I had been vindictive from the start; I knew that. But manipulating my own friends, hurting them, turning them against me… All those things I would never hesitate to do toward others. But not my friends. When did I start thinking that it was fine? When did I start thinking that I could get away with being cruel to those I loved?

Why?

How?

When?

I bit my lip, resisting the urge to cry. But the tears had already fallen, and my cheeks were already soaked.

I felt so pathetic. Ironic, considering that was how I always saw others. But looking at myself the same way I looked at everyone else… It felt… exhausting…

The mask… The smiles… Being seen as an angel…

All of it… all of it was exhausting…

And I just wanted to hide… I wanted to disappear… I didn't want to be seen anymore…

“I knew you’d be here.”

Not even six minutes had passed, and Takeda had already found his way to where I was hiding.

He stood by the doorway, leaning against the open doorframe, arms crossed, one leg propped back against the wall, looking at me with pity. I sat huddled on the floor in the corner beside the window, near the only chair and desk that remained in the room.

“You seem to like the former literature club room, huh?” Takeda asked, stepping carefully as he walked toward me. He grinned.

Why? Did he think grinning would make me feel better? I didn’t like it, so I turned my eyes away from him.

“Hey,” Takeda muttered, sitting cross-legged on the floor close to where I was. He still left enough distance between us. Maybe out of respect. I didn’t know; I didn’t care. “Your face looks weird.”

“Stop saying that!” I hissed and glared at him. But I realized that I probably deserved to be mocked. I lowered my gaze and closed my mouth, intending not to say another word.

“Pffft,” Takeda muffled a laugh, which made my eyes twitch, even though tears were already streaming down my face. “I was just kidding.”

Takeda leaned forward, trying to peek at my face. I pulled away from him, turning my back to him.

“Come on,” Takeda said with a sigh. “I said I was just kidding.”

…

“D-did they all go home?” I asked, hesitating a bit.

“Well… no…” Takeda replied, leaning back against the wall behind us. “All of them started searching for you. Miyase-san went to the rooftop. Shirogane-san to the library. The others scattered to search the school.”

…

“What about Mika?”

“She’s in the infirmary.”

“Did she get injured?”

“Luckily, no.” Takeda uncrossed his legs and stretched them out, making himself more comfortable. “Her shoulder's bruised, but nothing serious, really.”

I didn’t answer. I didn’t know what to answer.

I did know that I was relieved, though… at least… I could say that I was truly glad.

“You’re quite popular, huh?” Takeda continued. “After sending Mika-san to the infirmary, everyone immediately went to look for you.”

“Why? It was all my fault,” I responded, biting my lip hard.

“Well, Sasaki took all the blame,” Takeda answered. “She told everyone that it was an accident, that she couldn’t control where the ball went. She was so excited to have a proper match against Mika that she couldn’t even follow your instructions properly.”

I looked up at him, staring at him as if he had suddenly lost his mind.

“How?” I asked. “I was the one who…”

“You really think you’re that smart, huh?” Takeda cut me off, shaking his head with a grin. “You really think you’re some kind of puppet master who can pull everyone's strings?”

“But…”

“Tell me, did you pull my strings to get me here?” he asked, and it was something I had no answer for. “You can’t even make someone fall in love with you, as pretty as you are, and here you are thinking that the world is your playground.”

Takeda laughed. I got irritated, so I pouted. It was all that I could do.

“Why are you talking like you know me?” I sulked.

“Eh? Weren’t you doing the exact same thing to me?” Takeda answered, sounding a bit surprised as he leaned closer to me. “For the record, I did what you told me to do of my own volition. Not because you ordered me to, but because we had an agreement.”

“...Liar.”

“Think what you want, but that’s the truth,” Takeda said, going back to leaning against the wall. He clasped both hands behind his head.

“...What do I do now?” I lowered my head once more.

“For starters, why not apologize?”

I didn’t answer.

“You don’t know how?” Takeda asked.

I nodded.

“Want to practice?” he asked again.

I shook my head.

And then he sighed. Twice.

Takeda became quiet for a bit, and I heard him scratching his head.

“Well… what to do now?” He stretched his arms and legs and proceeded to get comfortable on the floor. “If you have something in mind… I’m listening…”