March 1895

Saturday, 2 March 1895

I helped Lily with her French more today. She’s not very good at it at all, but she is learning. We talked about the future some. She said she wants to be a nurse for her father because she knows he will let her keep working after she has children. She says she wants three children. How does she know that? I haven’t ever even thought about whether I want children or not. When I think about the future I just hope I don’t lose Ryn and that we’re both healthy. I never even think about falling in love and getting married.

Lily already has her marriage and family planned and just needs to find a husband. Lily’s father wants her to find someone rich to wed, but she says she wants to marry someone who isn’t afraid of hard work. She says all the boys her father has introduced to her are too weak for her. She says she likes stronger boys like Ryn. I never think of Ryn as strong, but I suppose he is. Lily and Ryn seem to like each other. Ryn says he might be happy with three children. Il est bizarre.

Saturday, 9 March 1895

Lily came by for more French lessons. She had a hard time concentrating and kept asking about Ryn. She’ll never get better if she doesn’t focus. I don’t understand why she wants to be married so young. She’s only 16, and just barely. It’s not like Ryn is off courting other girls and she’ll miss her chance if she doesn’t hook him now. What’s wrong with staying a wee lass a bit longer?

Saturday, 16 March 1895

Lily came by again today, but she didn’t want to see me at all, only Ryn. Why can’t she be happy with seeing both of us?

Tuesday, 26 March 1895

I hate Lily. It’s all her fault he isn’t working anymore! He was good at his work before! He couldn’t concentrate on his work with all her talk of love and marriage and children. Why couldn’t you just be our friend Lily? Why did you have to corrupt my brother’s mind that way? Why can’t we just be weans and chums? Why do you have to charm my brother with your bonnie blue eyes? Ryn won’t even talk to me now and it’s all your fault!

I’m not mad at you, brother. I didn’t mean to make you mad at me. I don’t blame you for losing your job. I don’t care if you fall in love. Just don’t leave me. I don’t want to lose my brother. Don’t let her steal you away from me.

I miss Sister Grace. She could help.

Wednesday, 27 March 1895

Ryn is talking to me again! He apologized to me and said Lily won’t be around anymore. He wouldn’t say why but I don’t care. I’m just happy he is talking to me again.