"On Tuesdays we hit the slots baby!" - I yelled into my phone as I pressed the "start streaming" button. The chat almost immediately flooded with emojis of various colored dice, gifs of slots hitting the unachievable 777 and truly unwelcome tirades that I should get some help before I blow through all my money.
There was some truth to these tirades. I couldn't remember the last time I hit the jackpot. To be fully honest, there was a high chance that I had never hit a jackpot. The most I won was exactly five dollars, and that came from a pack of chips that ran a promotion of "find money in your bag". Five dollars was the lowest amount possible to win.
I still found pleasure in playing, though. When I was a kid my granddad taught me how to play poker. He explained the cards and their values. He told me what a pair was, what a flush was and what a full house was. We always played when I visited him and Grandma during holidays or other occasions. The first time we played for something, that old fucker bet my toys to sell them later. Let's just say I never took any toys with me to their place after that day.
When I was twelve he brought me with him to some old, obscure building. I remember the single security guy standing beside the doorway. He was the ugliest bastard I had ever seen, tattooed fully up to his neck and with some more tats on his face. He looked at me and in his eyes I saw what I thought to be pity. Why would he pity me? I was about to enter heaven and he was standing outside, guarding it.
When we got in I saw true beauty. Slots, tables, roulette and chicks with tits bigger than the ass of Kardashians. The air was thick with smoke of every flavor of cigarette and I felt my lungs getting blacker with every breath. I was made a man that day. I placed my first bet on the table, I spun my first slot and went full on black for the first time in my then twelve years of living. This was a day I could never forget. This was what got me into this beautiful hobby of gambling.
Grandpa died a year later. They found him in a ditch or a rain canal without his golden tooth and jewelry. Lost one too many bets and got sideways with the wrong kind of people. My bet was on the Italians. They ran every casino in a 40 mile radius from where they found him. I bet the old man tried to gamble his way out of it before he died. That was his nature and that nature was now mine. But I learned from his mistakes. I didn't gamble in mafia-owned casinos.
I gambled in locally owned industrial containers filled with slot machines. You know, the ones standing in the middle of a city, with a sign that says "knock three times" and a camera that follows your every move. Of course if you knocked three times you wouldn't get in. That was how they knew you were an outsider. You actually had to knock five times. That was knowledge you had to obtain if you wanted to win big in this game.
Today, however, was different. I had picked up streaming not so long ago as a way to help me finance my hobby. It worked quite well as people donated every time I lost a bet or I won some chump change. But, because I was streaming, I wasn't really welcomed at my usual places. So I scoured the city in search of a not-too-big-not-too-small casino and I found it. A perfectly serviceable place with a couple of high stakes slots and a surprisingly friendly staff that consisted of a single guy named Boris - an old Russian fellow whose hairline got left behind when he left his motherland.
I read the chat a bit more before entering. It seemed a tad more hyped than on the usual days; there was a lot of "I feel something big is coming up." That hype got into me rather quickly and it wasn't something I felt very often. I genuinely believed that this day might bring me something I hadn't had the pleasure of experiencing. A massive win. I mean, it was due.
I pushed the door to "The Gambagool" and Boris immediately welcomed me.
"Ay, my favorite lokh! Welcome, welcome!" - he raised his hands and a smile spread across his face. Two golden cuspids on top of his jaw reflected the light from every slot machine back into my eyes. I squinted a little and responded.
"Wassup big man, I'm feeling lucky today so you better have some dollars in that safe of yours."
"Of course, of course, go on then, play some and we'll see how lucky you are today lokh."
He always called me "lokh". I asked him once what it meant and apparently it was a slang term for a friend. I looked it up later. It means sucker. Boris really was a nice person, even though he didn't look like one.
I moved forward to an empty slot machine. Before I sat there, I looked at the cost and possible winnings. 20 bucks for 5 spins, and a jackpot of 1,000 dollars. It wasn't the cheapest of the machines, but if I was to win today, it would be wise to play on something more expensive.
Then, in the corner of my eye, I saw it; the smoothly lit machine standing in a corner, all alone. Something inside me told me to go there, to try my hand on this isolated, mysterious machine. I didn't fight this feeling as my legs carried me there.
The single machine stood under a calm, orange haze from a small wall-hung light. I looked at the prices - 1,000 dollars for 5 spins and a maximum payout of one million dollars.
Fuck me. That was a lot. A thousand was all I had on me and I planned on staying here for at least a couple of hours to get as many donations as I could. I looked at the chat once again. It was filled with people telling me to go for it.
"Chat, should we do it?"
Say no, say no, say no, say maybe…
The overwhelming majority said that I should go for it. I didn't have a choice now and I was content with it. I sat on the cold, leather seat and grabbed my wallet. First hundred went in, then another and another and suddenly my wallet was empty and the machine played a soft jazzy jingle, letting me know it was ready to be spun.
I reached the handle on the side. It was cold and I could feel a thin layer of dust on top of it. I kept looking at the screen of the machine for longer than I should have. I made sure the camera was pointing where it should be and pulled the lever.
"Here we go chat!"
The three reels immediately started and the colorful tally of symbols turned into a mirage of colors. The first reel stopped on a symbol of a crown. I looked at the table on the side of the machine - three crowns equaled ten thousand dollars. My eyes lit up and I felt my heart skip a beat. The second reel stopped on the crown.
Shit, they were correct, I was going to win.
The third reel stopped. It landed on a 7. I felt immensely disappointed but not surprised. Why did I even think that I would win something?
"Chat, we might be cooked."
The chat immediately flooded with clown emojis and a "PULL" chant. I had already paid for five spins so there was no coming back. I pulled the lever for the second time.
One diamond, one horseshoe and again a single seven.
I felt even worse now even though I wasn't as close to winning anything. A couple of donations hit, but all together they didn't even cover the cost of a single spin on the previous machine, and especially not this one.
I pulled for the third time. Seven on the first reel. Once again something started building in me - anticipation. The second reel landed on seven as well. My heart rate rose to levels previously unknown to me. The third reel stopped. I saw a seven and my eyes lit up. But it wasn't lined up. The third seven was higher and in the place where it should have landed, instead was a goddamn watermelon.
Not even a single win. Not even the smallest amount wanted to come home with me. It hurt. Physically it hurt. My heart stung and a single tear grazed my cheek. Good thing the camera wasn't pointing at me.
I collected myself and spun the reels for the fourth time. Of course it didn't amount to anything. Not even a pair, it wasn't like this piece of shit would pay out for a pair. But it would be nice if I could at least keep it consistent with pairs. But no, of course now I had to look at three different symbols, as if the machine itself was mocking me.
"Last chance, chat." - I said but my voice gave away my desperation. The chat was filled with clown emojis once again and I felt exactly like one. This was the first time I didn't enjoy gambling. Maybe this was the time to stop.
No, every gambler who stopped, stopped exactly before hitting it big. I wouldn't be a loser. I wouldn't be known as the guy that lost everything in five spins!
I pulled the lever one last time, with all the strength I had. I pointed the camera at exactly the first reel. It stopped surprisingly softly and a seven stood firmly. I moved the camera to the second reel.
"Let's go chat! We're doing it!"
The reel stopped and once again the crimson seven was where it should be. My heart rate was through the roof, at least two hundred beats per minute. I felt the adrenaline fill every inch of my body. My hands started shaking as I moved the camera towards the third reel.
There it was. A single melody played and I knew it before I even saw it. The majestic seven. The greatest number to ever be invented by the Arabs was right there, in the exact place it should have been. My phone buzzed with incoming donations and the chat moved faster than I could ever read. But I couldn't care less about it. There it was. The jackpot.
It had evaded me my whole life, but now it was right in front of me. I felt joy, I felt happiness and I felt…
Pain.
My heart stung again. Much more than it did previously. I moved my hand from the lever to my neck but I couldn't feel anything. Not a single beat from my heart. My vision got blurry and I dropped my phone on the ground. I heard the screen cracking as soon as it hit the ground and soon after I followed. I crashed to the ground yet I didn't feel anything. My mind was flooded with memories. Of my first spin, my first win of exactly a dollar at the seaside motel and of my bastard of a granddad. None of these memories could save me now.
My last view of this earth was of my cracked phone screen and the chat. The chat that was now yet again spamming clown emojis. Motherfuckers.
I closed my eyes and the void took me. Apparently the void talks.
"One in forty-three billions. Those are the odds of dying the exact second you hit a jackpot. You've always been luckier than you think."