I sighed as I looked at my computer screen. I can't do this, I thought. I leaned back on my cushioned office chair. I looked up and closed my eyes. "Knock knock," I heard someone say while knocking.
"Hey," I said.
"I know you're still processing everything and don't talk about it yet but we should talk about this," I heard Zen say. This? I thought. I opened my eyes and sat properly. Zen was standing by the front door and was holding a folded letter.
"Where did you get that?" I asked.
"It was left by the front door," Zen said. "We're you expecting this?"
"No," I said. "Did you read it already?"
"I haven't," they said. "I wanted to check if it was for you first."
"Who is it addressed to?" I asked.
"There's nothing on the outside," they said. "Let me open it." Zen unfolded the letter. Their face shifted to a frown.
"What the fuck?" they said. " Bea is alive." Hmmmmm, I thought. I stood up and walked past my desk towards Zen. I looked at the letter. There were only four sentences written on it.
"and we have her captive," Zen continued reading. " To get your superstar and friend back, you need to follow what we tell you. You are not allowed to tell anyone else about this, even your other friends - only the two of you should know. The first task you need to do first is to obtain signed copies of Bea's current albums the company has."
"This is a scam," Zen said.
"What do they need Bea's albums for?" I said.
"What?" we said as we faced each other.
"Are you actually considering this?" Zen said. "This is obviously fake. Someone just wants to get a bunch of signed albums. Maybe sell them for money since they can definitely jack up the price."
"Or it might be true and Bea's alive and is being held captive," I said. I grabbed the letter and put it in my pants' pocket.
"Dos," Zen said as they grabbed my shoulders. "Are you hearing yourself? The autopsy already revealed that it was indeed suicide by overdose. And it was confirmed that it was Bea's body with the DNA they got. Plus the police already investigated her house, there were no forced entry or struggle marks so no one else was there to switch the body."
"I know, I know," I said. "But we should know better. Bea wouldn't kill herself like. Even if what her suicide letter was true, she won't kill herself because of that. She loves her fans too much. " Zen pulled me towards them. My face was now beside on their shoulder and beside theirs. I felt the heat from their big chubby body.
"What are you doing?" I said.
"It's going to be okay," Zen said. "We're going to get through this. We need time to grieve." I pushed myself away from them but their hugged tightened.
"I'm not crazy," I said. "Everything about this is just so weird and suspicious. The timing, how she killed herself, that suicide letter, and now this ransom note. "
"Aren't you reaching too much baby?" Zen said as they started brushing my hair with their hands.
"No, I don't think so," I said. "Bea's a superstar. People know that they can gain a lot of money by kidnapping a superstar."
"But why the fake body then?" Zen said.
"I'm not sure," I said. "But if she dies in the hands of those kidnappers, I won't be able to live with myself knowing we could've done something."
"She won't," Zen said. "She's dead."
"No," I said. "I know Bea's alive."
"How?" Zen said.
"I just do," I said. "I just can't accept that she died like this. Not our Bea."
I pushed myself away from Zen and this time they let me. I walked outside the door into the hallway. I walked farther, into the kitchen. I sat down on the nearest high chair. I put my elbows on top of the kitchen island and covered my eyes with my hands. I felt something wrap around me from behind and felt something press against me on my back and on my head.
"I feel you Dos," I heard Zen say. "I can't believe our Bea, the Bea who introduced us and is the reason why we got together, died the way she did. But sadly she did. So we owe it to grieve her death properly."
"You're right," I said. "You're right. I should just focus on grieving her and what we'll miss about her. I should finish my funeral speech for her."
"You mean start?" I heard Zen say. Of course they can tell, I thought. I sighed.
"Yeah," I said. "I need to start and finish it for the wake the tomorrow, for Bea."
"Yup," I heard Zen say. I felt their arms unwrap around me and their body stop pressing against mine.
"But, after we eat dinner," I heard Zen say. Right, I thought. Did we order take out? I rubbed my face with my hand and sighed. I opened my eyes. I saw Zen preparing the food. They took out the white food containers from the paper bags and opened them.
"Those smell good," I said. I watched as Zen brought out two plates from one of the drawers underneath. They then took out two spoons and two forks.
"I bought these from our favorite place," Zen said. "I ordered your favorite, Beef & Broccoli in Garlic Butter and Sesame Oil." I smiled.
"Thank you babe," I said. "Thank you for cheering me up."
"Anything for you," Zen said as they interlaced their hand with mine. "We're going to get through this."
"I miss her already," I said. "I thought we were still going to do so much things with her." I felt tears start to fall down my eyes. Fuck, I thought.
"Let it all out," Zen said. "You stayed strong for her so long already." My eyes blurred as it over flowed with tears. I felt my face get wetter and wetter. My mouth and voice started to move uncontrollably. I felt my arm getting pulled.
"Cry it out," Zen said. "I'm sure Bea misses us too." I felt Zen's soft chest against my head and their other arm wrap around my back. Fuckkkkkk, I thought.