Mt. Crumpet Conspiracy

Just when the two of them emerged outside, the tavern door swung shut behind them, and Osric stopped again, tottering a bit and reaching up to his head.

“Whoa,” he breathed. “I d… ahm…”

Evony faced him, sighing and examining him closely.

“I… jus… wow,” Osric exhaled, blinking behind his lenses and swallowing roughly. “Okay, that… that last one may have been a… bad idea…”

“Well… I was trying to tell you to stop,” Evony remarked.

Osric cocked his head drearily at her. “You were? I’m sorry…”

He fell silent for a minute, pressing his fingers into his forehead and taking a deep, heavy breath. Then, he slowly lowered his hand, wavering slightly as he did.

“Uh-oh,” he sighed quietly. “I don’ think I sh… ould have…”

“Okay… hey… look, listen,” Evony said, grasping both of his arms and steadying him. “You said you had a backup way home. Can you use that? Can we just get you back to Silver Peaks right now? Cally can drive the boys home. They’ll be fine… but you need to get back to the lodge. Like… now.”

“I… ah,” Osric exhaled, facing her and clearing his throat a few more times. “Sorry, I am… just… not feeling well… um… yes, I can… I can do that…”

Evony nodded. “Okay… good. What is it? It’s not something we have to drive, is it…?”

“No… no, it’s… oh,” Osric uttered, raising his head and suddenly looking more alert, gazing off toward the north path.

Evony followed his vision over to the path, then faced him again. “What…?”

“I can’t go without Oliver,” Osric mumbled.

Then, he gripped his cane tightly and started walking.

Evony tried to keep a grasp of him, but he veered to the side and marched crookedly over toward the path, and she had to let go of him, sighing and rolling her eyes.

“Oz… please ,” she said exasperatedly, hurrying after him. “Don’t wander off… please? Can’t you just call him?”

“I’m… not… wandering,” Osric panted, thumping his cane to the ground harder than usual with every step, as he was relying on it more than he normally did. “I need to know…”

He stepped onto the snowy path and started walking up it, slowly, carefully, and with hardly any balance.

“Fuck’s sake…” Evony ran her hands down her face, then jogged over to his side and walked next to him. “Where are we going? What do you need to know…?”

“It’s… I don’t know,” Osric murmured, waving loosely up at the path ahead of him. “Something…”

Evony gave him a caustic look, remaining closely by his side as he forced himself onward.

A short ways up the darkened path, his boot met with ice, and he slid to the side—and Evony snatched him by the arm and yanked him back before he could fall.

“Fucking… seriously , Oz,” she hissed, straightening him out and twisting him around, then she grabbed his arms again, this time viselike. “You are not okay enough to do this right now!”

Osric gazed at her almost tiredly, choking out a breath, visible in the icy night air.

“Doesn’t matter,” he uttered. “I have to…”

Evony shot him a look. “Um, yeah, it does matter—and why do you have to? Why do you have to go chasing random warm drafts up a freaking mountainside?!”

Osric stared at her quietly, and the two of them stood in silence on the dark snowy path for several somber seconds, her hands clasped viselike around his arms, and her breaths hot and angry as they escaped her.

Then, after what felt like ten minutes, Osric’s mouth curled faintly, simply smiling at her.

“I have to… because… I need… the answers,” he told her in a slow, soft, and clear voice, tilting his head slightly. “But… I see… now… why… you’re not… happy.”

Evony’s eyes narrowed.

“I have a hard… time… recognizing that,” Osric attempted to explain, his fingers loosely groping along her arm, trying to grasp hers as well. “But… I… appreciate it.”

Evony continued to stare, saying nothing.

“That is what I hired you for,” Osric breathed with a grin, giving her a mild little shake. “And you were the right person… you were the right person to…”

He sighed deeply, looking down and shaking his head. Then, he reached up and felt drunkenly around the front of his hat until he found what he was searching for, the strap connecting his hat to his goggles. He unfastened it, then reached to the back and unfastened the second one as well.

“I don’t wanna do this anymore,” Osric murmured dazedly, now reaching to the side of his goggles. “Not… with you…”

He turned a knob—and the thick strap of the goggles parted on the side, making them suddenly fall loose.

Evony stared, her mouth easing open, and a sparkle of shock shone in her eyes, now almost stunned. Ever since she’d met him, no matter how much time they spent around one another, and no matter how close or friendly they ever seemed to get—he had never taken the goggles off in front of her before now.

Osric peeled the goggles off, held them down by his side, and faced her properly again.

He met her gaze, revealing his bottle blue eyes, his soft, wavy hairs curling along the sides of his cheeks slightly, hugging his face in a way she’d never noticed before now. His face looked earnest, so very genuine and sincere, his eyes such a deep, shiny cerulean, she felt nearly lost in them.

“Now,” Osric said softly, gazing into her, and giving her arm another shake. “I need you… to see me… and hear me.”

Evony swallowed, biting her lip and nodding.

“I need… to know… the answers,” Osric insisted, raising his cane a bit and motioning lazily up the path with it. “When some… some unexplained thing like that happens… it means something. Don’t forget what we’re looking for.”

Evony listened, sighing heavily.

“And the reason I have to… I have to chase it… is because nobody else will,” Osric determined. “The police… will not. The government… will not. Do you know how I know…? I tried that already… they’re part of it… they must be…”

“Oz,” Evony said in a low, calm voice, adjusting her grasp on him. “I know… I get it, and I know… but there’s a time and a place. If you really, really wanna explore up here that bad… then you could just as easily come back tomorrow, sober, and in the daylight. Not to mention… you really don’t even need to do that, because you sent Oliver to do it for you, didn’t you?”

Osric let out a breath, glancing down and pondering on this.

“And,” Evony added, tightening her grasp and leaning slightly closer. “One more slip… and you could fall right down the mountain. And I don’t like worrying about you.”

Osric’s eyes ventured back up to hers, gazing into her solemnly, and he flashed a smile again.

Evony’s teeth clenched, her jaw twitching. “It’s not funny…”

“I’m not laughing,” Osric said wispily.

“Okay… can you just… please leave it to Oliver for right now?” Evony asked him.

“Okay,” Osric exhaled.

Evony let out a relieved cloud of breath. “ Thank you…”

Osric smirked, slowly raising his hand, goggles dangling from his fingers, and he gently tapped his knuckles to her chin.

“Thank you more,” he said in a soft, meager voice.

Evony fell silent, flashing a smile, and feeling a flutter inside.

“And, we… listen… we don’t… have to go home,” Osric told her, straightening slightly in his stance. “We can just… wait… for them to be done, in there…”

Evony gave him an uncertain look. “Are you sure…?”

“Oh, yeah… yeah,” Osric breathed, nodding mildly. “I don’t think I want to try to steer an Azarias Pod at the moment…”

Evony’s eyes narrowed. “I thought you said it wasn’t something we’d have to drive…?”

Osric rolled his neck, slumping his head back and gazing into the night sky, letting out a big cloud of breath. “Oooh… I don’t think I’m capable of explaining that right now…”

Evony breathed out a laugh, glancing to the side and seeing a single, large tree just a few feet down the path. She hooked her arm around his, and she marched over to it, leading him to the tree before sinking down in front of it.

The two of them sat up against the tree’s large, shapely trunk together, its lumpy roots halfway buried in snow, Osric laying his cane beside him, placing his goggles in his lap, leaning back snugly against the tree, and sighing sleepily, his arm pressed against hers.

For a moment, they simply sat in silence, facing the overlook and the endlessness of trees and snow beneath the night sky.

Evony glanced down the hill at the front of the tavern, still seeing no sign of her friends. Then, she faced Osric, smirking again as he nodded in and out of consciousness.

“Hey,” she said, nudging her arm into his. “Can we actually talk now? Or are you asleep…?”

“Hmn? Oh… I’m here, I’m here,” Osric moaned, blinking thrice and adjusting his crooked hat. “Go ahead. Just hit me if I start to drift off…”

Evony let out a chuckle, sighing and folding her arms tightly, resisting the urge to shiver.

“Well… you’re gonna wanna hear this,” she told him honestly. “I’ve been kind of looking into some people in my own time… whenever I’m not looking for random obscure electronics all over your office for you…”

Osric breathed out a snicker.

Evony gazed over at him, her expression falling serious.

Then, she took in a breath—and she explained the list Levi had made for her, the six people she’d been looking into, and the realization she’d had about Mayor Byers.

When she was finished, Osric had gone very quiet. She leaned closer, squinting at his face beneath the brim of his hat, seeing that he was, indeed, still awake, merely staring straight ahead with a dazed, distant look.

Eventually, he released a large cloud of breath, planted his hands to the ground, and pushed himself more upright, sitting snugly closer to her and turning to face her.

“He wants to run for congress,” Osric remarked, meeting her eyes and raising his brows. “Did you know that…?”

Evony paused, shaking her head.

Osric huffed out a dry little laugh, resting back against the tree again and gazing into the night.

“Quite… a remarkable… coincidence,” he said faintly. “Most members of the American congress… will be in Silver Peaks… in less than a week.”

Evony frowned, leaning back alongside him.

“As will the president,” Osric sighed. “And… everyone else who’s running the world as we know it…”

Evony swallowed, curling her hands deeper into their sleeves.

“ Amazing coincidences,” Osric breathed. “There is… a hidden consortium… of reptilian extremists, being kept here somewhere… and… everyone who’s in charge of running the world… is about to arrive here. And … the man who’s become the top suspect conspirator… wants to be in congress.”

Evony didn’t speak

“And… if someone happened to be planning a terror attack… using those extremists,” Osric continued. “Then… plenty of members of our government could die… and our top suspect… could miraculously… get what he wants. A seat… in congress. So… so many coincidences. How extraordinary…”

Evony made a slow, thoughtful nod, then gave him a curious sort of look.

“I still don’t… understand something,” she said. “Why would any of that involve… you?”

Osric rolled his head to the side, tiredly raising his eyebrows at her, then huffing out a cloud of breath.

“That’s a very good question,” he mumbled. “Whoever is setting all this up… seems to be using me as… payment. They hand me to the extremists, and then the extremists do something for them. Alazar’s Army must really need me for something…”

They both fell silent for several seconds.

“Such a waste of potential… those people,” Osric sighed glumly. “I used to know a lot of reptilians… a long time ago. My mother and I, actually… used to… take them in… in this little cottage, way back when. We lived in an area with… a heavy reptilian population… and, sometimes, they would… travel… in the cold. Traveling in the cold is just… not a good idea for them… but… they still did it. On, and on… they kept going… almost freezing to death, so many times. We ended up… becoming something of a… rest stop… for them.”

Evony listened intently, resting her head to the tree.

“That was so long ago now,” Osric murmured. “I remember… we got to the point where we were… trading ideas of how to make more rest stops, and keep them warm, and… make something warming they could travel with…”

He let out a faint little laugh.

Evony smiled at him, feeling touched by his story, and wanting to listen further.

But, Osric appeared to be drifting away now, his eyes easing shut, and he slipped into a quiet sleep.

A minute or two went by.

Evony continued to simply watch him, staring into him, his chest gently rising and falling, his hand limp atop his lap, lying crookedly over his goggles.

“They’re not gonna get you,” she murmured.

She merely sat there, gazing over at him for a while longer. She eventually turned back around and looked down the hill, still seeing no one walking out of the tavern, then she faced him again, sighing and beginning to wonder if it was too cold for him to be sleeping out here…

Then—a faint hint of movement caught her eye.

Evony blinked and looked to the north path, her eyes narrowing, seeing something shifting in the darkness up the hill. She expected it to be Oliver—but, as the shadowy figure came closer, and clearer into view, she saw its lumbering legs, saw its hooded head, and saw that it was, indeed, not a bot butler.

Her heart began to pound, harder and faster.

Evony glimpsed down to Osric, then her eyes flickered back to the approaching hooded figure, her hand sliding into her jacket.

She placed a hand to the tree, slowly and quietly reached her feet, and moved around Osric, stepping onto the snowy path and positioning herself perfectly opposite the encroaching stranger.

Her heart began to hammer even more.

The hooded figure stopped adjacent from her, its hands moving just beneath the edges of its thick wool cloak, fingers craning and extending, and she was just able to make out their shape—long, crooked claws.

Evony silently slid the proton pistol from her pocket, holding it low by her side.

The hooded reptilian turned its head, eyeing the man asleep against the tree, then turned back to face her.

“Non zen yuu meda,” it hissed at her. “Meda takin hem onlys.”

Evony’s eyes narrowed, pulse quickly racing—and then, as demanded by necessity, the switch flipped, and she began to act on autopilot, raising her gun and training its tiny sights on the reptilian, feeling no anxiety or hesitation as she did.

“English,” she demanded, finger resting on the trigger.

The reptilian hesitated, its sharp yellow eyes peering out at her from beneath its hood rather pensively.

“Not need you,” it spoke in a wispy, serpentine voice, slowly raising a hand and gesturing over to Osric. “Only him.”

Evony raised her eyebrows, her expression caustic and devoid of feeling. She then stepped to the side, planted herself firmly between the reptilian and Osric, and stayed there.

“ Tough ,” she snapped.

The reptilian gently cocked its head, baring its fangs and giving her a warning sort of glare.

Evony remained rooted to the spot, holding him at gunpoint, her eyes flickering down, only just spotting the tiny green light on the back of the gun.

When she glanced up again—she saw the reptilian reaching for its holster—

PYOO.

Evony fired—and a wickedly blinding light shot out of the proton pistol—hitting the reptilian squarely in the right arm and burning a perfect hole through its cloak and scales.

The reptilian let out a shrill scream, staggering back and nearly falling; it doubled over, gazing down at its wounded arm and making a low, pained noise.

Evony let out a shaking breath, standing her ground and still keeping the gun aimed at him—but she noticed the tiny light on the back of the gun was now red.

Suddenly, she remembered Javari telling her about the thirty-second cooldown period for this weapon.

The reptilian slowly straightened up, now glaring at her with every fang visible, his dark, green expression painted with nothing short of rage.

Osric was still lying against the tree—now awake, staring over at the scene intensely, and very quietly snapping his goggles back on.

Evony didn’t waver at all, proton pistol fixed onto the reptilian.

“You better just leave,” she advised. “Unless you want the next one between your eyes.”

The reptilian made a deep rumbling noise at her.

“I… shall… not,” he growled, taking a daring step closer.

Evony took in a breath, her heart jolting, glimpsing quickly between the reptilian and the light on her gun, still red.

“Why?” she asked, praying dearly she could stall him. “What do you need him for?”

The reptilian stopped a few feet away, lingering so closely now, she was able to smell the singed, burnt cloth and flesh smoldering from the grisly hole in its arm.

“I… would like to know that as well,” Osric chimed in, now standing on his feet, leaning on the tree, and holding his cane, hitting a button on the side of it and making a mechanism appear under its handle. “If you don’t mind.”

He then straightened up and faced the reptilian.

Evony took in another breath, not facing him, but feeling a bolt of anxiety shoot down her spine like lightning.

“I can’t exactly… ‘come quietly,’ or what have you… if I don’t know what I’m signing on for,” Osric remarked, tilting his head and gripping tightly onto his cane as he stepped forward. “So. Would you care to enlighten me? Zen kainthen mine yoger?”

The inventor stopped just beside Evony, looking rather fearless and disengaged with the danger of the situation, merely staring at the reptilian and expectantly awaiting an answer.

“Yuu zan comventh yoger noaw?” the reptilian inquired.

“Onlys min zan informan sen comventh to Alazar,” Osric replied, giving him a nod. “Oh, and… do so in English, please.”

The reptilian, clutching its burning arm, gave him a long, silent stare before replying.

“You are needed for plan,” he grunted.

“Ah-huh… what plan?” Osric asked, cocking his head and perching his brow.

“The south plan,” the reptilian stated. “For us to live here.”

Evony and Osric momentarily fell silent, trading a quick, subtle glance with one another.

“And you need me for that…?” the inventor tried to clarify.

“You are builder of machines,” the reptilian explained. “You will make possible… here.”

“ Oooh ,” Osric breathed with a nod of understanding. “You need someone to make it easier for you all to live in the cold. I see. Well… you do know that I can just… do that… right? There doesn’t have to be any kidnapping conspiracy. That’s just something I can do in my spare time—”

“No more talking,” the reptilian demanded. “You will come.”

Osric opened his mouth, then let out a few breathless laughs, patting the top of his cane.

“Wow… you certainly know how to sober a man up in a heartbeat. I will give you that. But… I’m afraid I’ve been rather dishonest with you,” he said coyly. “I just wanted you to tell me that little tid-bit that I hadn’t worked out yet. I don’t actually plan on going anywhere. Sorry.”

“My brothers are near,” the reptilian glowered. “How do you plan to stop me…?”

Osric shrugged. “Like this.”

He whipped the cane capper up and pulled the trigger—a deafening BANG and a blinding muzzle flash erupting out of it and blasting a horrid crater into the reptilian’s abdomen.

Osric staggered behind the recoil, catching his balance—and Evony snatched him by the wrist and broke into a run.

The reptilian was howling in agony into the night, and neither of them turned back to see if it was chasing, or if more were emerging; the two of them raced down the path, narrowly avoiding slips and falls over the snow.

Evony and Osric reached the clearing—just when the tavern door flew open and everyone flooded outside in alarm, glancing around in search of the commotion.

Thomas was in the lead with Javari and Cally close behind—the bartender and several others behind them—and Evony turned and shot them a look.

“We need to go!” she shouted, locking eyes with Thomas. “We need to go now! ”

Thomas looked mortified, but didn’t argue; he and his friends bolted over to the blaster, as did Evony and Osric.

Everyone else from the bar stared up at the north path in shock and terror as they watched the wounded reptilian screaming in pain, scrambling and clawing down the path desperately.

Thomas leaped on the front of the blaster—Javari and Cally in the middle—Evony and Osric on the back. Just when Thomas moved to start the engine—

“Wait!” Osric yelled, dropping the cane in Evony’s lap and standing fully upright on the back of the vehicle, gazing up at the mountainside.

A tiny round figure had just emerged from the darkness—whizzing through the air at top speed directly toward them.

Thomas glanced quickly between Osric and the encroaching reptilian, turning the keys. “I can’t wait…”

“Come on, come on, come on…” Osric breathed, beckoning with his fingers as the bot butler drew near.

The bartender marched briskly back into the tavern while the others scattered back from the approaching reptilian, leaving a blood trail on the north path—and Oliver shot over the clearing toward the blaster—

The propulsions powered on and jutted the vehicle a foot off of the ground. Thomas hit the button for flight mode—

And Osric made a far grab—snatching Oliver out of the air and plopping back down on the seat—pulling the bot in at the very last second before the force field appeared around the blaster.

And then at once—Thomas gripped the bars and took off.

The blaster exploded out of the air and shot far into the sky so suddenly, it shook the atmosphere and startled everyone else in the parking lot—the reptilian even stumbling back—

The bartender emerged from the tavern with a sleek black 12-gauge—pumping it once and storming past everyone, his eyes locked onto the reptilian before him.

Just when the blaster flew into the sky and vanished—a final echoing BANG broke across the night air.