Oh, Christmas Tree

Osric sniggered and giggled the entire way through town.

Evony was walking by his side now, glimpsing over at him and choking out a laugh at the sight of him so truly delighted.

Osric straightened out his hat, let out a big cloud of breath, and thumped his cane along the snowy ground in his stride, giving her a glance and snickering once more.

“Oooh… that was fun,” he chuckled. “That almost makes me miss going to the cities for those Godawful business meetings. That’s where playing tag with the media is a real challenge… but you also have the advantage of traffic to play in there. Nobody really drives very much here…”

Evony shot him an incredulous look, then sputtered out another laugh. “You’re insane…”

“Oh, well… that , my dear friend, is not news to me,” Osric replied, raising a finger, then gently reaching into her bundle of aluminum and sliding out one of the seal-ka-bobs. “Mmm.”

They walked past a few of the groups of the townspeople who were standing around waiting for the Christmas tree to be erected, many of them staring, but neither of them cared. Osric simply continued strolling along, Evony giving the strangers a brief look in passing.

“Nobody’s running up on you now,” she noticed.

“M’yes, well…” Osric mumbled with a mouthful of food, pausing and swallowing it. “People tend to steer clearer after Oliver unleashes that wave of auditory Hell upon the world.”

“I suspect they also fear being gagged by snow if they dare to tread too near,” Oliver remarked, whizzing beside Evony and giving her a pixelated face of coy approval. “And that was impeccable aim, might I say. Well done.”

“Thank you,” Evony smirked, raising her fist to him, and Oliver enclosed his three tiny fingers and gently bumped his small metal fist to hers. “I am a snow-wielding badass.”

“Exceptionally bitchin’ , Madame,” Oliver said, making her choke out yet another laugh. “Or whatever vernacular might better suit the social gesture of a fist-bump…”

Osric raised his eyebrows over at them. “What? What happened? Whaddid I miss…?”

“You weren’t looking, sir,” Oliver replied, pretending to tip his immovable hat. “But I believe that Miss Evony and I have invented a new secret handshake. I’m afraid you’re not part of our club, now that you’ve missed it.”

“Not that , you little smart-aleck,” Osric quipped in response, looking to Evony. “What does he mean, impeccable aim? What did you do that I missed?”

Evony ogled him with a smirk. “Did you really not see me peg that lady in the face with a giant snowball…?”

Osric suddenly stopped walking, giving her a long, silent stare.

Evony faced him, trying to read his expression, but he merely gazed at her from behind his darkened goggles, just before his mouth curled into a smile of genuine delight.

“You… are just… wonderful ,” he grinned, grasping her shoulder and giving it a shake. “Really… where have you been all my life?”

Evony breathed out a snicker, her heart jumping, feeling flushed all the sudden and looking away.

Osric chuckled again with his lighthearted little laugh, gently tapping his knuckle to her chin before resuming his pace.

Evony paused there for a split second, huffing out a breath and shaking away the odd rush of feelings that seemed to have arisen, just before turning and following him.

The two of them made their way over to the front of the 50s diner, far enough away from the other onlookers to feel comfortable and at ease, and they stood still there, watching as the county employees guided the lying tree over to the proper position with their ropes, just in front of the big white machine behind it—which, as Evony could see clearly now, was a large crane attached to a big white truck. Just behind the circular trunk of the enormous tree was a huge metal stand, a hole in the center intended to slot the trunk inside of.

“They’ve got it in the right place to stand it up,” Osric observed. “Won’t be long now.”

“Um. Sir,” Oliver said, raising a shiny finger. “You do realize that nobody else is standing where we’re standing, correct?”

“Yes… that would be why we’re over here,” Osric replied, simply smiling at the tree across from him and taking another bite of his seal-ka-bob.

“Well… do you see why they are not over here?” Oliver inquired, hovering forward and gesturing up to the tall, standing arm of the crane, then bringing his metal finger downward, pointing to the ground at Evony and Osric’s feet. “We are in the direct trajectory of this tree’s fall path, if it happens to fall to the side during the process of positioning it upright.”

“Ohhh… no we’re not,” Osric replied, twisting around and gazing up at the edge of the diner’s rooftop, swatting up at it. “Look… the tree would hit the roof before it ever got near us.”

“Well, sure… the bulk of it would,” Oliver countered. “You’re not accounting for all the other big, thick branches on that tree, shooting downward in a penetrating fashion. You’re also not considering the possibility of the rooftop simply collapsing. Shall I run a probability scan to determine how likely that is?”

“Oh… sweet Lord,” Osric sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Grant me the serenity… and patience …”

“I am only minding all of our safety, sir.”

“Well, that’s very good of you… but how many times have we watched this, Oliver?”

“Nineteen times including this one, sir.”

“All right, then… and how many times has the tree fallen?”

“Five times, sir. The most recent time being two years ago.”

Osric opened his mouth to argue further, suddenly pausing and making a quizzical face.

“Really?” he breathed, sounding genuinely surprised. “Huh.”

“You tend to forget things quite often, sir. That is why I catalog facts and events,” Oliver stated.

Just when Osric started to respond—the glass doors behind them swung open with a faint ching-a-ling . They instantly stepped aside to clear the way for the diner customers who were leaving the building—and Evony stared at them, as it was a group of three, a trio of people she recognized.

Cally, Javari, and Thomas were emerging from the diner, all bundled tightly in their winter clothes, and all of them holding half-wrapped breakfast sandwiches they’d just purchased.

“Hey!” Cally grinned, pulling Evony into a quick hug. “I didn’t know you guys were gonna be here.”

“Me either,” Evony laughed, waving over at Osric. “You can blame him…”

“As always,” Osric affirmed with a smile. “And how are you three doing this fine day?”

“Particularly fat and hungry,” Javari replied, chewing and gesturing with his sandwich as he spoke. “You?”

“Oh… unexpectedly adrenalized, actually,” Osric chuckled, motioning in the general direction of the lodge. “I got to outrun the media today. That was spectacular.”

“Ooo… a healthy game of cat and mouse,” Thomas smirked. “That does sound fun. You know what else sounds fun?”

“We’re not gonna be in an episode of TJ,” Cally snarked at her brother. “And I know Evony and Oz don’t wanna do that, so you might as well stop bringing it up.”

Thomas gave her a long, deadpan stare.

“How can you possibly know that?” he uttered seconds later.

“Because they have better things to do!” Cally proclaimed, jutting her hand out at Evony and Osric. “And so do I!”

“Ehm.” Osric made a wincing sort of face, raising his finger. “I actually don’t think you do, Cally. Not today.”

Cally wheeled around and gaped at him in confusion, Thomas and Javari sniggering behind her.

Then—Osric placed a hand to Cally’s forehead, making her reel slightly back and blink, giving him a look of surprise.

“Mhm. Yes… just as I thought,” Osric muttered, nodding and withdrawing his glove-covered hand. “I think you’re going to be sick this evening… so you may as well just go ahead and call out of work ahead of time.”

Cally ogled him in total befuddlement.

“I won’t even take off any of your sick days,” Osric added with a smirk. “We’ll call it a family emergency.”

“What… why would… why’re you trying to make me call out of work?” Cally sputtered. “Holy crap… am I fired?!”

“Nooo… not fired , no,” Osric laughed, shaking his head. “I just don’t think you’ll want to be there today is all. We’ll call it a family emergency, and we’ll leave it at that.”

“Why…?!” Cally breathed, totally lost.

“Well… because,” Osric replied, his smile waning. “The lodge will be playing host to the Byers family all evening, and that, I do consider something of a family emergency.”

Cally suddenly fell very silent, staring at him with an expressionless visage.

“Oooh… eeeeew,” Thomas breathed, scrunching up his face. “All the hoity-toity drones are gonna be there…?”

“They always celebrate Thanksgiving a little early, so… yes,” Osric sighed. “They do this every year… but they don’t always do it at the lodge. They are this time, though…”

“Oh… no,” Cally exhaled, a daunting look of horror overtaking her face. “I have to wait on Bell today …?”

“Cally… dude… he’s giving you an out,” Evony laughed, motioning over to Osric. “You don’t have to do anything except run like hell in the other direction.”

Thomas and Javari both laughed at this.

“Y’know. I was planning on being sick today,” Javari remarked, wagging his sandwich at them as he talked.

“Yeah… y’know what? Me too,” Thomas agreed, folding his arms and turning to his sister. “So, the question is… where should us three sick people go today to get all better?”

“Oh… well, that’s a little unfair,” Osric commented, cocking his head and looking away.

Thomas blinked and shot him a look. “Ah, beg pardon?”

“Well… being sick was my idea is all,” Osric told him, flashing a half-smile. “I would think that Evony and I would be included in the plans. That’s only fair.”

Thomas’s eyebrows shot upright. Javari slowly stopped chewing, and Cally’s mouth drifted agape, all three of them suddenly staring at Osric as if they’d never seen anything as perplexing as him before. In all the time that they’d known him—he had simply been Cally’s employer, who she was on friendly terms with, or Thomas and Javari’s occasional and unofficial business associate, whom they garnered ideas from. Osric had never gone out of his way to actually plan anything with them before, though. He always avoided such social things, largely due to the amount of attention he sometimes got whenever he was out in public.

“Oh my God… dude, are you serious?” Thomas asked, cracking a smirk. “You actually wanna go hang out?”

“And you’re not paranoid about the media following us all over kingdom come?” Javari inquired. “Who are you right now?!”

“Well… there’s scarcely any media swarming the town right now, and I think the ones who are here may be a little too shell-shocked to approach me again today,” Osric replied whimsically. “Honestly, I’d like to seize the opportunity to do something outside of my office for once… before convention time comes around, and this town gets so packed with people, it becomes almost impossible. Besides, I’ve been working nonstop on my current project, and I could really use a break. I’m almost done with it now, so I think I’ve earned a day off.”

“Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod,” Thomas grinned, jumping in place with glee. “Okay—before you say no, hear me out. Will you please star in an episode of TJ?!”

Osric opened his mouth, hesitating and making a confused face. “I… don’t know what that is.”

“It’s their web show,” Cally said, rolling her eyes. “They do funny skits and little stories and stuff. It’s a whole comedy thing. I just… I don’t wanna do that today…”

“Why nooot?!” Thomas griped, shaking his little sister back and forth. “Come ooon!”

“Nooo… ugh,” Cally pouted, tossing her head back and frowning at him. “We have to memorize lines, and practice, and do all that crap… uuugh… I don’t wanna , Tom. If we’re gonna have a hooky day, then I wanna do something actually fun.”

“Skits are fun!” Thomas and Javari both exclaimed.

“Well… wouldn’t it be fairer to do something we all find fun?” Osric chimed in. “Not to be biased, but Cally doesn’t seem to like the idea… and Evony and I would be rather lost.”

“Yeah… and we were gonna do skit stuff this weekend, anyway,” Cally pointed out. “It’s not that I don’t think it’s fun , it’s just… it’s not the same kind of fun. It takes too much time away… and time is precious on a hooky day. Y’know?”

Thomas and Javari traded glances.

“I’ll tell you what,” Osric smiled, holding up a finger. “I will be in one of your episodes if you decide to wait until this weekend to do it. Is that fair enough?”

Thomas and Javari both raised their brows and looked at each other again, instantly nodding.

“Oh yeah— hell yeah,” Javari grinned, snatching Osric’s hand from his cane and shaking it. “Done fuckin’ deal , my friend.”

“Um. Sir,” Oliver spoke up, gently tapping his master’s shoulder. “You do realize that November will be coming to an end this weekend, don’t you?”

Osric turned and stared at him, then gazed vacantly over at the front window of the diner, letting out a deep cloud of breath.

“Oooh… right,” he sighed. “The conventioneers will arrive on the first of December. I’ll be busy then…”

“No you won’t,” Javari said quickly. “Well, I mean—yeah, on December 1st, you will—but not the day before that. The last day of November is Saturday.”

“Ah.” Osric nodded and flashed another smile. “Well… that’ll be my final day of freedom, then. That’ll be our day.”

“Sick,” Thomas beamed, turning to Evony. “You’re gonna be there too, right?”

“Yeah—we want you to be in it too,” Javari nodded.

Evony glanced between them. “Well… I mean… I guess so, sure. Where are we gonna meet up?”

“Oh… hold that thought, Evony,” Osric muttered, now gazing over at the Christmas tree. “Look.”

All of them turned, observing as the long, towering arm of the crane slowly began to rise, its cable fastened to the tree, instantly tightening and just beginning to lift the massive pine off of the ground by its upper half, chunks of snow falling off of its lower needles in raining sprinkles and clumps.

Evony watched as the county employees worked the crane and motioned to one another, then glanced over at Osric.

Truthfully, she did enjoy the idea of playing hooky with all of them. Most of the time she spent with these friends was separated, and they usually never all hung out together in a group at the same time. Besides—she and Osric had been working on the very same things and indulging in the very same routines for a number of weeks now, and it would be quite refreshing to do something new and different today. However—she really wanted to speak to Osric privately about the realization she’d had this morning regarding Mayor Byers, and she definitely didn’t want to wait another day to inform him of it. Perhaps she would just have to try to pull him away and speak to him out of earshot of the others sometime today, whenever the opportunity eventually arose.

Suddenly—Osric’s arm shot out in front of her, his hand clasping onto the front of her jacket.

Evony blinked and snapped out of her thoughts, looking down, then over at him.

Osric was staring up at the rising tree rather fixedly, looking like he’d just reached out to her on impulse—and when she followed his trail of vision back to the tree, she saw why.

The crane had stopped, and the enormous pine tree had started to totter to the side—looming directly over them and casting a massive shadow across the front of the diner. One of the county employees began yelling and motioning frantically at the one operating the crane, and the rest of them rushed to the other side of the tree to grab the hanging rope attached to it.

Cally gazed up at it in fear, covering her mouth, Thomas and Javari both frowning.

“I ah…” Osric breathed, fingers coiled tightly around the leather of Evony’s jacket. “I think we do need to move.”

Then—he broke into a brisk stride and practically dragged Evony along with him. Cally, Thomas, and Javari immediately followed—and all of them walked briskly away from the front of the diner, heading over to the intersection of shops where all of the other groups of townspeople stood.

They then stopped in the center of the spread-apart crowds and turned to the tree again, now facing it from the front, and now seeing clearly just how far the massive pine was leaning to the side. Then, the crane loosened slightly—and the pine jolted and wobbled dangerously close to the top of the diner, just before the cable tightened again and steadied it.

“Oooh man,” Cally exhaled, glimpsing over at the diner, then back. “Oh, I hope it doesn’t fall…”

The crane’s cable began to reel back once more, the tree slowly rising high, just when the county men began pulling on the rope in unison from the other side—gently and gracefully guiding the tree back into a perfectly upright positon.

Cally let out a massive breath of relief, Thomas looking down, and Javari blowing a raspberry.

Osric sighed as well, glancing over at Evony, and only just realizing he was still gripping the front of her jacket—and he quickly let go of her.

“Sorry… sorry,” he breathed, running a hand down his face and staring at the tree again.

Evony glimpsed over at him, flashing a smirk and saying nothing, though she felt a bit touched now, after what he’d just done. He really was sweet…

“Shall I prepare the I told you so speech now, sir?” Oliver inquired, displaying a cocky expression at his master.

“Oh… be quiet,” Osric laughed, motioning over at the tree. “I didn’t see it fall. Did you?”

“Almost there,” Cally muttered eagerly, clutching her fists shut and watching closely as the crane gracefully eased the gigantic trunk of the tree perfectly into the slot of its bolted-down stand.

Then—the tree slid right in, and it stood tall above the heart of Silverhollow, instantly illuminating with countless big Christmas lights of every color, the large angel on top suddenly brighter than ever, and the lights now flashing and brightening in rhythm to a wordless Christmas tune that seemed to be echoing from the tree itself.

All at once—everyone in town exploded into applause, grinning joyfully at the standing Christmas tree, some of them even beginning to hum or sing along to the tune, which was currently playing Oh, Christmas Tree .

Evony raised her eyebrows at the magnificent tree, watching as its lights flashed and danced along with the music it played, suddenly understanding why everyone in this town had gathered to watch this moment. It wasn’t just the erecting of their big tree—it was the precise moment that their tree sprung to life, welcoming everyone here to the Christmas season, the lights a wonderful variety of bright colors, the music pleasing and comforting, a sense of warm, communal joy in the air now.

“Wow,” Evony breathed.

Cally clapped vigorously, Thomas fist-pumping in the air and Javari whistling loudly. Osric smiled, and Oliver’s screen flickered, switching to a simple happy face.

“Now then,” Osric said, turning to the others. “I believe we have a day of running away from work to attend to.”

“Yes!” Cally beamed, turning to Javari. “Oh… but… what were you supposed to be doing today?”

“Pfff. Nothing,” Javari shrugged. “Business is slow this week, so Dad’s doing everything on his own right now.”

“Yeah… and if Javari’s off work, then so is his manager,” Thomas smirked with a click of the tongue.

Evony then turned to face Osric. “Are you really okay to leave the lodge? Especially when they have a whole Thanksgiving event thing going on there today…?”

“Oh… sure,” Osric replied with a nod. “You’ve met Grady, right? He’s my co-manager for the lodge itself. He can handle whatever needs handling there.”

“OH! Oh, oh, oh—I know what we’re gonna do today!” Thomas exploded, making Cally jump and clasp her chest.

Everyone turned to him.

“We—are going—up,” Thomas said, raising a finger and grinning at them all. “To a tavern in the sky! ”

Evony and Osric stared at him blankly, but Cally and Javari both seemed to know what he was referring to.

“Oh yeeeah,” Cally breathed, nodding and waving a finger at him. “That place up the mountain we saw the other day…”

“We saw a really isolated old tavern way up Mt. Crumpet the last time we were racing blasters,” Javari explained to Evony and Osric. “And it is like… way up there, out in the sticks , man. That’s where the scary-ass mountain people live.”

“We wanted to go check it out next time we could,” Cally said. “Is that okay with you guys…?”

Evony and Osric glanced at each other.

“Really…?” Osric uttered. “The Christmas Convention leads an annual caribou hunt up the mountain every year, and I’ve never seen any tavern up there…”

“Yeah, but this is like… waaay up there,” Javari told him, thrusting his hand out toward the craned mountain in the distance, gesturing to the very highest point of it. “It is way past where you guys go for the hunting.”

“Huh,” Osric exhaled, his mouth curling into an intrigued little smile. “A new place in Silverhollow that I haven’t seen yet? Well… that certainly sounds interesting.”

“Are you guys gonna drink?” Evony asked skeptically.

“Well duuuh! ” Thomas laughed. “Oh—but yeah, that means we have to decide on designated drivers.”

“We don’t need designated drivers. We need designated driver ,” Javari corrected. “Just one. One blaster, one driver.”

“Um. Wait just one second now,” Osric interjected, holding up a finger and cocking his head at him. “Snow blasters can seat up to three passengers, Javari. Not five and a half.”

“Nooo… snow blasters are designed to seat three passengers, mister sir,” Javari replied with a smirk and a wink. “But they can seat five if you really want them to.”

“Wait a minute,” Cally murmured, making a bizarre face at Osric. “ A half …?”

“That is an extremely dangerous thing to do,” Osric told Javari, sounding uncharacteristically serious.

“No—it’s not, it’s really not,” Javari insisted. “Know why?”

Osric huffed out a breath, eyeing him astutely from behind his dark lenses.

“Do you have the dome extension?” the inventor asked.

“Yessir,” Javari replied, tipping his feathered hat.

Osric raised his head, then made a slow, thoughtful nod.

“Well then,” he uttered, his mouth unraveling into an ear-to-ear grin. “Caution to the wind it is.”

“Hell yeah , son!” Javari rejoiced, raising Osric’s arm and slapping his hand with a high-five. “That’s what the hell I’m talkin’ about! Let’s go!”

“Wait… hold on,” Cally said, tugging on Osric’s sleeve. “What did you mean, five and a half? What’s half of a passenger …?”

Osric smiled, reaching over and grabbing Oliver out of the air, then he held him up in his palm like a basketball. “Him.”

Cally opened her mouth, then nodded. “Oooooh…”

Evony snickered.

“Oh… Oliver doesn’t even count as a fourth of a person,” Javari quipped, turning and starting to stroll over toward the back of the diner, where its parking lot resided. “He’s like the size of a baby. He’ll fit right in the trunk.”

Osric tilted his head and gave him a curt look from behind as he began to follow. “And exactly how often to you place babies in the trunk of a blaster, Javari…?”

Evony, Cally, and Thomas all laughed at this as they marched off with them—and everyone strolled over to the snow-spotted parking lot behind the diner where the two blasters were, all of them feeling particularly excited for the day ahead now.