November 1895

Monday, 11 November 1895

Ryn met a man named Ethan Rithe today. He says he has a job for him working in his warehouse. He says he has another boy working for him now that is leaving for Glasgow in a month, and that’s why he is looking for more workers.

Ryn tells me his foot doesn’t hurt anymore, but I’m worried he’s going to hurt himself again. Mr. Rithe seems nice though, and he does promise that Ryn will be able to take it easy until the other boy leaves. It seems like it should be fine, but I have a bad feeling about it for some reason.

Tuesday, 12 November 1895

Mr. Fenris didn't open his store today. I was worried something had happened to him and went searching. I found him at his home with a doctor looking in on Beth. Nathaniel told me she had woken in pain. The doctor said her pain was not unusual for a woman expecting a baby. He told her to rest and that he would check on her again tomorrow to be certain. I hope he is right and she is not ill. I do not understand why it must be normal for a woman to have pain. Ryn is lucky to be a boy and not have such worries.

Thursday, 14 November 1895

Beth is feeling better and the doctor says there is nothing to worry about, but Nathaniel is very worried. He insists she rests and does not do any hard work. He asked me to help her around their house until their child is delivered. I would rather work in the butcher shop, but I like spending time with Beth so I don't mind.

Sunday, 17 November 1895

I find myself looking forward to spending my days with Beth instead of at the butcher shop. She has a big collection of books, and she says I can read them any time I want. I started reading her copy of Jane Eyre as soon as I finished dinner on Friday and read the first volume straight through until I was too tired to continue. I couldn’t help but finish the first two volumes yesterday, and read the last chapter this morning.

I am quite grateful Sister Grace told me about it. I think I like the writing even more than Jules Verne’s stories. I will need to ask Beth if she has any more of Currer Bell’s stories that I can read tomorrow.

Thursday, 21 November 1895

Sister Grace’s letters always brighten my spirits. And often a little hungry. Thankfully I read it just before lunch, so I was able to sate my appetite quickly. Mr. Fenris has returned to the shop, and Beth is resting, so I had plenty of time to write back to Grace. I hope she does not sleep too long, there are many things I wish

I see as I gather my letter for Sister Grace that I did not finish my thoughts earlier. Beth had awakened and we started to talk. She taught me much about raising children I did not know before. The more I learn, the more I worry. Beth is quite happy though, and is looking forward to the arrival of her child. Both Grace and Beth tell me it is fine to not want children, but they both want babies of their own, so I can’t help but worry there is something wrong with me. Maybe they are right and I will think differently as I get older.

October 25th, 1895

Washington, Mississippi

My dear Friend,

Reading your letter has brought a smile to my face. You should never apologize for asking questions. I am always happy to answer your inquiries.

Beignets are a French pastry. They are square pieces of dough that are fried and covered in sugar. They are light and airy and crispy and delicious. Perhaps I could convince Mr. Harper to make some for everyone? I will ask around to try and get a recipe to send to him.

I did want to be a mother, very much so. Part of what excited me so much about my marriage to Samuel was the thought of raising children with him. He was a loving man and would have made a wonderful father. Sometimes I think about being a mother of my own children, but that is a dream I fear has died with my beloved. I am raising young Thomas now, and that is almost like being a mother.

You are correct that Sisters do not marry or have children, but that is not a good reason to become one. While I do not doubt that I made the right choice for myself when I took my vows, I would not recommend the same path to you. You yearn for a freedom that you would not be able to achieve as “Sister Laenia”. Do not fear though, for you do not need to become a wife or mother if you do not want to. There are those who will insist no woman can be happy without a husband and children, but I have met several happy, old women who never married. I do think you will one day find a young man you will fall in love with and want to have children with. However, if I am wrong and that never happens, I still expect you will find happiness in your adulthood. You have had a hard life, and deserve nothing less than a joyful life.

Winters are very mild in Mississippi. It can be quite cold some nights, but it is usually very comfortable. Summer days, however, can get very hot. While I don’t miss the cold, I must admit I did enjoy the days it would snow while I was in Scotland. It is never cold enough for it to snow here. Young Thomas doesn’t believe me when I tell him about snow. Forgive me, I know the thought of snow is not often pleasant for you.

By the time this letter reaches you, it should be nearly Thanksgiving day. That is a day that reminds me much of my great-grandfather. Many families here resist celebrating the holiday, and my father still hates it, but Papaw loved it. I think it is a wonderful excuse to have a feast of turkey and pie. I don’t think you have ever had a chance to try turkey, have you? That may be harder for Mr. Harper to produce than beignets, sadly.

All this talk of food is making me hungry. I miss you as well, my darling Friend, and pray one day we are fortunate enough to cross paths yet again.

Your affectionate Friend,

Grace Collins

Monday, 25 November 1895

Beth is often drawing while I read, but I did not know she could draw so beautifully. She showed me a drawing she had been working on, a picture of me reading. Her aunt taught her to draw when she was young. When I told her I was not very good at drawing, she asked if I wanted to learn. I think that could be fun.

I wish my hair would grow faster. I thought it would be mostly grown by now, but now I think I may have to wait years. At least Beth drew my hair a little longer than it actually is.