Author's Preface
Shani was covered head to toe in bandages and ointment that made her nose crinkle. But overall, she was lucky. Only the one on her head required stitching, and Shani got honeyed peaches as a reward for sitting still through it. Her mother was luckier. Most of her wounds were bruises and a few small scratches, including the one on her cheek. No stitches.
Thankfully, the evening was calm. Shani and Jamila were both dressed in their fall nightgowns. Jamila hummed as she brushed her hair and headed to bed. Shani couldn’t bring herself to move. The room was dark, which reminded her of that room. The metallic smell when she first entered it, broad hands grabbing her from the shadows, the feeling of her lungs burning as she tried desperately to breathe.
It hurt. It hurt so much.
Tears pricked her eyes, and she nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw her own reflection. Warm light brown skin, pointed ears, lavender eyes. For some reason… her pale hair and lavender eyes against her warm brown skin made her feel uncomfortable. Like some kind of monster ate the princess and those were the only traits that remained of her.
Shani squeezed her eyes shut, begging the tears to go away. But that just made the scene of Nimue lying in a pool of blood even clearer. She reached up and covered her ears.
It was just a dream. It was just a dream. It was just a dream.
“Shani?”
Her mother’s voice called out through the darkness. Shani looked up. Jamila was watching her. Her eyes were wide with concern as she studied her daughter. Shani bit her lip and noticed the bracelet. Her bracelet, beside her mother. She wondered… would the nightmares go away if she put it back on? Could she be like everyone else? Would she be safe?
Or would that further prove that she was the fake.
“Shani.”
She pulled her eyes away from the bracelet and back toward her mother, who was already warm in bed. Shani bit her lip as she fought the tears that threatened to fall.
“Mama… I don’t think I can sleep…” Shani mumbled as the tears finally won. Jamila’s shoulders dropped.
“Shan—”
“Why was I born? Why did it have to be dad? Why am I like this?”
The words came out before Shani could think better of it. Her eyes widened a breath later, and she covered her mouth. Slowly, she met her mother’s eyes. She expected her to be upset… but her mother looked sad instead. Shani’s heart dropped.
“I… I’m sor—”
“You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. It’s a fair question…” Jamila smiled sadly and offered her hand. Shani hesitated for a moment before she walked over and took it. Jamila scooted over, and Shani made her way into the bed, tears still silently falling.
“Your life would have been so much easier if I picked someone closer to home…” Jamila said with a small laugh. But the laugh sounded anything but amused.
“Unfortunately… I liked that he wasn’t someone close to home. I liked the forest… his family. But most importantly… I liked him the most.” Her eyes grew distant as she stroked Shani’s soft curls.
“And… I wanted you. So you see your mother is very selfish. I am sorry for that.” Jamila smiled and stroked Shani’s ears. Shani bit her lip and looked away. She wanted to comfort her mother. To tell her that it was okay. That she was happy… but the words for once refused to come. She was hurting, scared, and upset.
Silence fell over the room. It was suffocating and heavy. But Shani couldn’t find the words to make it go away. She pulled her aching bandaged knees to her chest and whimpered silently for a moment. Jamila didn’t say anything either. She just rubbed circles into her back.
“I… I want to use my last question…” Shani managed to squeeze the words out. Jamila’s eyes widened, but she didn’t respond.
“I want to hear about my dad… not a short story. I want all the stories.” She turned her gaze to her mother. Her eyes burned, and she was sure she looked anything but loving. But she wanted to understand. Understand why someone over the wall was so much better. Why was this pain worth it? But most of all, she wanted to learn more about the ghost of the man who was her supposed father.
Jamila smiled warmly. “I see… This may take a while to fulfill your last question. There are a lot of stories.”
Shani shook her head. “I want to hear them anyway.”
“Very well then… where should I start?” Jamila tapped her finger against her lips, her gaze drifting toward the ceiling.
“I suppose the beginning would be best,” she said, and Shani nodded. Jamila tapped the open space next to her. Shani complied and lay down close to her mother, her eyes wide open.
“It was summer. The sun felt so warm... I had just finished my lessons for the day,” she began as she pulled the sheets over her and Shani. Shani noticed a mischievous smile form on her mother’s lips as her lavender eyes danced.
“It was the year I turned thirteen…”
Jamila walked towards the garden entrance of the palace, humming while munching on a spiced almond cake. Her absolute favorite thing in the world… well besides Nimue and her brother. She was nearly to the door when a stern but gentle voice called her name.
She turned to see a tall, curvy woman with hair as white as snow, alabaster skin, and bright golden amber eyes. Jamila frowned, but the expression disappeared almost as quickly as it came, replaced by her smile.
“What is it, Mother?” She asked, rocking impatiently on her feet. Her mother frowned at her, a sigh escaping her lips.
“Your brother is going to be busy today. So don’t bother him,” her mother said, her nails digging slightly into Jamila’s chest as she poked her. Jamila’s smile faltered.
“Jaz says I’m never a bother,” she countered, crossing her arms. Her mother groaned, rubbing her temples.
“Gods… You always have to have the last word, don't you?”
“Now I do,” Jamila said. Her smile brightened. Her mother glared at her, but it didn’t bother Jamila. Her mother had always been like this.
“Either way… stay away from him today and stay out of my hair as well.” She glared. Jamila smiled and curtsied.
“As you wish, Zarina.” Zarina’s mouth hung open, but Jamila walked away, albeit slightly quicker this time. She didn’t want to be around to hear the words her mother would spout. She had better things planned. She might as well enjoy her day before they once again brought out the Silk for her disrespecting the emperor's consort.
Jamila burst out of the palace doors, shoved the last crumbs of cake into her mouth, and ran. Her long, white, wavy hair bounced wildly behind her. The warm summer rays felt wonderful against her skin. There were barely any clouds in the sky.
It was indeed the perfect day. For an escape.
She reached the far edge of the garden, staring up at the old pale tree with glistening silver leaves. She hoisted the hem of her simple white dress and tied it above her knees. She huffed in approval, hands on her hips, and looked at the towering tree once more before beginning her climb.
Carefully finding handholds and footholds, she only slipped once or twice before hauling herself onto the thickest branch. She stayed on her hands and knees, panting for a minute. No matter how many times she climbed this tree, she just couldn’t get the knack of breathing while climbing.
Once she caught her breath, she stood and used her hands to calculate the distance and trajectory as if she hadn’t done it a dozen times before. Then, running toward the end of the branch, she leaped with all the might she had in her legs.
She landed on top of the wall with far less grace than she had imagined. A shocked, quiet shriek escaped from her lips. She covered her mouth and glanced around anxiously. Thankfully… no knights. Her dress had loosened and tangled around her legs, making movement nearly impossible. With an annoyed huff, she grabbed the hem and tied it once more, making sure to double-knot it this time.
Much better. Hopefully it stays.
Carefully, she lowered herself down the other side, using the uneven footholds carved into the stone. The palace side was smooth. But this side… The artisans clearly hadn’t cared as much out here. Which was probably why they never filled in these footholds.
Well… She wasn’t about to complain.
Once her feet touched the ground, she released her dress, now quite the wrinkled mess. Then Jamila set off along the narrow, jagged path that wound down the cliffside, past the waterfall, and into the valley below. She hummed as she walked, the breeze tugging gently at her hair, the grass tickling her ankles with every step.
She hopped across the river, bounding from one stone to another. She slipped once, but only her foot got wet. A giggle left her as she tried to flick her sandals dry. At least she didn’t fall in this time.
After what felt like an hour, she reached the edge of the forest. She slowed, trailing her fingers along the cool stone of the wall as she walked beside it. Usually, she only came this far, leaned against it, sunbathed for a moment, then turned back.
But today… She had time. Being the unwanted child sometimes had its perks. She stared up at the sky, watching the clouds slowly move. They reminded her of woolly sheep.
Then her foot caught on something.
She fell forward with a startled squeal, landing quite ungracefully on her face. She groaned as she pushed herself up from the soft grass. Sitting on her knees, she turned her head to glare at the thing that tripped her. Then she froze.
Rubble and debris lay scattered across the grass, but more importantly, a section of the wall had collapsed. In its place was a hole just big enough for her to crawl through.
Jamila crawled over and peeked through the hole. The wall was thick, but she could see the forest on the other side. It was so close she could nearly touch the trees. She stood and began fiddling with her hair.
“Maybe I could...” she murmured, eyeing the hole.
“No. That’s a bad idea, Jamila!” she said to herself as she began pacing back and forth.
“But it’s right there...” She stopped and pointed at the hole as if someone else were standing beside her.
“No. Jaziel will scold you,” she replied to herself as the pacing began once more. Jaziel was such a sweet, timid boy. But he was scary whenever Jamila did something he considered dangerous. Currently, his fixation was that running was dangerous.
She had no idea why. She ran all the time and had never once hurt herself when she tripped. What was next? Walking? Well, obviously, she could trip just fine doing that too.
Jamila stopped and sighed before her attention once more returned to the hole.
You promised him. No more adventures.
She hesitated, glancing between the path home and the opening in the wall. Her fingers twirled through her silky hair as she pulled at individual strands.
“I mean...” she said slowly. “It’s just one more adventure…”
She grazed the edge of the stone opening with her fingers. “Jaziel will never know…”
That was all the convincing she needed. She dropped to her knees and crawled through. When she emerged from the thick wall, the other side felt... different. Yet more familiar than she expected. The air itself seemed to change beyond the wall.
A valley lay before her, stretching wider and deeper, opening into a forest that seemed to breathe. The trees rose impossibly high, their leaves whispering together like a sweet melody beckoning her in. Sunlight filtered through the canopy in scattered shafts of gold, and for the first time, the stories she had heard about Silva Mortis felt wrong.
This place felt alive and light. Not monstrous and deadly. But her anxiety rose as she grabbed at her hair once more. Maybe this was far enough. She had promised.
Perhaps this could be enough of an adventure.
But… She wanted more. It was so close… and she wouldn’t be allowed out of the palace for at least a few days after what she did. She was already here… what would be the worst that could happen?
And with that… she entered the forest.
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