Author's Preface
Trigger Warnings: Emotional manipulation, gaslighting, child emotional distress, and themes of self-doubt.
Days slipped by, the sky wheeling endlessly overhead. Spring came and went in quiet cycles, leaving Shani alone with her thoughts in her cool room.
Each morning, Melody came in and dressed her in something new, something extravagant, beautiful, but no matter how she looked… Shani couldn’t bring herself to step outside. She would try, but each time she reached for the door the memory of her uncle, disappointed and walking away from her, reared its head. She couldn’t move, and would just listen to the music through her thick wooden door.
In that same spot, before long the festivities had come to an end. Shani still couldn’t bring herself to leave and wish everyone a safe journey. Something that all royalty were supposed to do.
Her uncle never once came to check on her. The room remained empty, with Melody coming and going from time to time. Shani sat in the open window allowing the spring breeze to flow through her pale hair. Her eyes turning towards the door every so often as if she was waiting for something, someone.
Maybe Uncle is still mad…
I must have hurt him a lot…
Maybe it would be okay to leave now?
The thoughts were loud and heavy. She shook her head at the thought of leaving. She couldn’t upset her uncle anymore. He will come and get her eventually… she hoped. She just needed to wait one more day and everything would be back to normal.
One day became two. Then another, and another. Before long it had been nearly four days past the end of the celebration and no one besides Melody came to see her. Caelis and her aunt had left the palace to visit her aunt's parents, at least that’s what Melody had told her. She was sure her uncle must have been far too busy to check on her.
Her gaze drifted from bird nests to the sounds of chatting servants and guards. All seemed to be enjoying the calm spring day, all paying no mind to the young girl sitting from her window. Something in her chest ached. It felt like even without her, the world spun on.
A sigh escaped her throat at the dark thought. A groan escaped Melody in response. Shani looked towards the younger woman in shock. She had never heard Melody so frustrated. Melody turned towards Shani, her hands on her hips.
“That’s it!” She exclaimed in complete frustration.
“You have locked yourself up long enough! I need to clean and your gloominess is making it nearly impossible!” Melody hissed as she went to Shani’s wardrobe and pulled out a pair of sandals. Shani watched her with very large, concerned eyes.
Melody approached the young girl and dropped the sandals in front of her.
“If you would be so kind, milady and leave for a few hours?”
“But Uncl—”
“I don’t care,” she cut in, stepping closer. "You keep sitting exactly where I need to clean." She insisted, hands on her hips once more.
“Besides… You have served your time! You deserve some fresh air!” Melody said but Shani simply turned her attention away from the woman and down towards her hands. Melody’s expression softened as she sat beside Shani and gently took her hand.
“You are only eight… it ain’t healthy for your body…” She paused, her thumb brushing lightly over Shani’s knuckles. “…or your mind.”
She tapped Shani’s forehead gently.
“Do you understand, Miss?”
Shani thought over the maid's words for a moment, a pout on her lips. She didn’t quite understand everything but she supposed it would be best to get out of Melody’s hair so she could work. After reaching that conclusion she gave her maid a small nod. Melody smiled softly before standing and grabbing Shani's upper arm.
“Then, begging your pardon, get your butt out of here.” She gave Shani’s arm a gentle tug. It was a weak tug, and didn't even manage to budge her. Nonetheless Shani slipped from the window and moved slowly toward the door. She cracked it open, hesitating.
The world outside that door felt different, colder now. She swallowed hard before glancing back towards Melody. Melody's smile was warm enough that Shani couldn't bring herself to stay.
“I… I’ll be back soon, Melody…” She stuttered quietly.
“Oh gods, I hope not,” Melody replied with a wink. A small smile slipped onto Shani’s face before she quietly stepped out, shutting her solitude behind her.
Shani peeked over the banister at the top of the stairs, her body frozen. She could feel her knights' stares digging into her back. But she tried her best to ignore it.
Below, people moved about… cleaning, organizing, packing away decorations. The bright chaos of the celebration had faded into something quieter, more ordinary. The palace returned to its original state. But it felt all too different now.
Her heart thundered as she watched the servants work, but no one noticed her. It was as if she had never left her room at all. A pit formed in her stomach. Why was she even here?
The doors opened, and Jaziel stepped inside, his cheeks faintly pink from the cold outside air. Aides followed close behind him. He paused long enough to hand his cloak to a nearby maid. He was speaking quickly, the words were much too complicated for Shani to understand.
Anxiety began to well up as the negative thoughts rushed into her once more.
He’s busy.
Don’t bother him.
What if he’s still mad?
Shani shook her head, willing the words away. She had come this far already, she couldn’t return to her room a failure. What would Melody say?
Shani inhaled slowly and began to descend the stairs, one careful step at a time. She paused every few steps, fighting the urge to turn and run. He’ll be happy to see me, she told herself. He has to be… Jaziel stilled mid-conversation. His gaze lifted, and found her instantly.
“Well, look who decided to grace us with her presence.” His tone was light. Playful. Shani froze. Confusion flickered across her face.
“But… you’re the one who told me not to come…” she murmured.
Jaziel turned fully toward her, brows knitting slightly in confusion. “I never said anything like that.”
Shani halted. Did her Uncle just lie? No he couldn’t have… Uncle doesn’t lie afterall. Yet… She remembered. He told her to leave. He was upset. Maybe he was just confused.
“You did… You told me not to return to the rest of the party…” Shani mumbled. Her eyes began to burn as she tried to explain. Jaziel and the aides all stared at Shani with confusion. A sigh escaped Jaziel's lips as a look of exhaustion fell over his face. His shoulders sagged slightly, just for a moment, before he composed himself once more to look at his aides with a gentle smile across his lips.
“I will meet you all back in my office.” He said calmly. The aides bowed in response before retreating to the innermost part of the palace. Jaziel waved them off until they were just gone from earshot. Then, his full attention returned to Shani.
The sharp look in his eyes caused her heart to leap into her throat. She gripped her skirt as Jaziel walked towards her. He sat on the stairs beside her and tapped the step below her feet. Shani swallowed hard, but sat beside her uncle. They sat in silence for a moment. She tried to speak several times, but no words came.
“So… What is it you heard me say?” Jaziel asked as he peered at the young girl from the corner of his eye. Shani fumbled with her dress for a moment before speaking up.
“You… You told me not to come anymore…” Shani mumbled as she stared down at the steps, unable to meet her uncle's gaze. Another sigh escaped Jaziel.
“I know for a fact that is not what I said… I just meant you should rest for the night.” Jaziel replied. Shani froze as she took his words in.
Was she wrong?
Did she misunderstand?
Did she twist his words?
She tried to hold onto the memory, but it slipped through her fingers. Everything felt slow. Warped. Like she was trying to see through water. The harder she tried to remember, the worse it became, until all that remained was a dull ache behind her eyes.
“But… I swear you said…”
"Shani... are you saying I lied to you?" Jaziel interrupted. Shani’s eyes widened with horror. She looked towards her uncle finally and shook her head.
“I didn’t say that… I just heard…”
"If that's what you believe you heard... then you must think very poorly of me." Jaziel's voice was soft, yet there was an edge to the words. Shani’s hands began to tremble as the memory of him walking away from her resurfaced. She turned towards her uncle and gripped his clothes with everything she had. Tears falling down her face.
“I… I’m sorry uncle… I was wrong.” She cried as she leaned her forehead against his shoulder. Jaziel remained completely still, unmoving as he watched the young girl break down.
“I trust you Uncle… You would never lie…” Shani stuttered. They sat in silence for a moment longer when a smile finally found its way onto his lips. He stroked Shani’s hair gently. She relaxed almost immediately beneath the familiar touch.
“Princess…” His voice was soft. Steady. Kind. Shani looked up at him and he wiped the tears from her eyes.
“I’m sorry if that’s what you felt I meant,” he said gently. “I was only trying to look out for you.”
Shani hesitated for a moment, then melted into her uncle's side. How could she have misunderstood him so badly? She felt foolish. Small.
"I know..." he said after a moment, pulling back just enough to look at her. A warm smile finally found its way onto his face. "It's been a while... So why don't we have dinner together tonight?"
Shani smiled shyly and nodded. He beamed, patting her head before rising.
“I have some matters to attend to,” he added lightly, already turning away. Shani watched him go, her chest still tight… but lighter than before.