A Fresh Start. Is it?

“I am sure of it. He was there with me.” I said, trying to sound as convincing as possible. I will not let Fred, of all people, doubt me…ever.

We’re in the restaurant hallway, right next to the backdoor entrance. He heard me from the staff room and bolted out into the backdoor to see me screaming my head off, alone, in the dim, small garden patch. He is gasping for breath; after quickly pulling me inside and cleaning up the left-overs that are scattered outside, he definitely looks spent.

“Are you sure? Maybe it’s something else, a rat, someone’s dog, or a stray cat. It could be one of them. We have problems with them gnawing at our garden produce even before.” He asked hurriedly. I can detect the slight impatience in his voice, which surprised me. In the hustle and bustle of our everyday service, he rarely gets impatient on anything, or anyone.

But now, I could see that he’s irritable. He’s wiping down the sweat and dirt on his arms with a table cloth that he grabbed on the nearby counter, muttering something under his breath.

I can imagine everything from his point-of-view and it makes me feel embarrassed. The mess that I’ve made outside and seeing me alone again this week while talking about seeing a mystery guy…

I honestly look deranged.

I cannot look directly at him. He is standing beside me, and I can see the sweat forming on his shirt. His jeans are patched with dirt around the knees from cleaning up the trash after me earlier. I focused my gaze on it.

“Fred. Please. I can distinguish a human from a cat… or a rat.” I can’t help talking back sarcastically at him even while feeling apologetic at him; I even tried my best not to roll my eyes. I know the truth; I saw him and touched him.

He is real.

“Then where is he?” He asked as he tapped his right foot, waiting for what’s next. The edges of his shoes are full of dirt too.

He could be real to me, but to Fred, this situation might look something else. He never saw him, and that’s where the problem is. I can see the slight crease forming on his forehead.

I sigh in defeat, finally looking up to his hazel eyes. His pupils seem smaller than usual; the brown orbs slightly shaking on the white pools beneath. They're full of doubt, confusion, and something else that I can't describe.

“Honestly, I don’t know.” I admitted.

Our gaze lingered for a while, then he looked away from me. He continued cleaning after himself.

—

Fred left minutes after that, completing his deskwork in a breeze. He said that his father needs his help so he needs to go straight home.

“See you tomorrow.” He said to me while completely avoiding my gaze, pretending to check the contents of his bag. I bidded him goodbye as he walked out of the front door. When the bell at the front door finally stopped ringing, I turned back into what I was doing.

But I know that it’s not the case. He seemed wary, tired, and wanted to be far from my presence.

I can’t blame him. It happened twice in a row, without any tangible proof about the existence of that man. He must be scared of me and confused about what is happening.

I just wanted to go home too. I'm physically and mentally exhausted. I quickly organized the remaining items in place, avoiding looking at anything for too long, in case he is somewhere around here.

I closed the restaurant, double checking the place and the locks before I went out.

Nothing, as it should be.

I can’t help but to sigh for the nth time tonight; each breath was a feeble attempt of removing the indescribable heaviness in my chest.

—

The walk home tonight felt like two hours rather than 20 minutes. This time, it’s not because I was busy roaming around the town to eat, but because each step feels like I have a couple of pounds of weight attached to my feet. It felt lonelier; I hate to admit it but I was looking forward to my walk home with Fred tonight.

I have to talk to him tomorrow, or apologize, or to thank him for cleaning out for me. Anything.

I turned towards the final curb towards our street. Our apartment slowly came out of the view from the trees and lamp posts that were blocking it, like unfolding a new scene of a movie. From here, I can see the windows in the front yard, and the lights in the living room are open.

I can imagine him opening the lights of each room one by one and the whole house bathing in the bright lights. He likes lighting up the whole house, as it makes the space more warm, homely, and he (said himself) can see everything more in detail, which is the opposite of me. It’s blinding, and unnatural.

I’m seeing more than enough already.

I opened the door and as expected, was greeted by the meticulously curated warm and white lights everywhere. A pair of shiny, clean leather shoes was placed neatly on the shoe rack by the doorway. My gaze turned towards the kitchen; I could hear some activity going inside, him probably cooking dinner.

Leon’s home.

Which surprised me, since it’s the first day that the body’s found. I thought that this case would take the police officers’ time more than before.

And yet, here he is.

I dropped my bag on the sofa, and walked towards the kitchen.

Might as well get some gossip from the source. The kitchen feels comfortably warm, bordering on hot, which I liked after being exposed to the evening cold outside. I quickly gazed at my hand. And after feeling that.

He turned around the moment I entered, holding a steaming pot of food that he just cooked.

“Just in time.” He happily greeted me, smiling brightly like all the lights that surrounded us while donning his bright yellow apron, floral pot mittens, and all that cute stuff. It’s far from what I expected tonight. One look at him and he erased all the heaviness that I was feeling today. He got a knack of making me feel better effortlessly. Only a few people can do that to me.

Him, A , and… Fred.

I dramatically whiffed at his direction. It smells so good, whatever that is. He motioned me to go inside.

“You’re early.” I quipped, stating the obvious. He nodded, and placed the huge pot in the middle of the dining table. A is tailing him again, as usual. He went towards me the moment he saw me, nuzzled my hand in greeting, and sat into one of the dining chairs. I sat across from him; A likes sitting beside my brother.

“Yes, they let us out early today so I even had time to buy groceries.” Leon quipped happily, placing two plates, bowls, and utensils on the table as he spoke. “I even planned on fetching you at your work, but I thought that it may take you a while to clean up the shop. I also have to prepare for this.”

I nodded, remembering what happened earlier. What could have happened if Leon dropped by the restaurant? Is he still going to show himself to me then?

“By the way, a friend from the station gave me the recipe for this. I tried it before when she brought some for lunch and I just have to know how to make it.” He continued, proud of his new dish. “We still have left overs over there so just get some to pair with this.” He motioned towards the containers that are already on the table along with the rice.

I took a sip and gave a look of approval in his direction. “It’s good!” He’s really better at domesticated, delicate things than me.

“Of course.” He winked at me as he took a seat across from me, oblivious that A is sitting beside him. He took a bite of the rice and soup. “I don’t know what it’s called, but it’s some kind of meat and vegetable stew. I guess it’s a family recipe. And yes, this is what it should taste like.”

“So, about earlier…” I said, making an opening about the case. He looked towards me, still chewing his food innocently, trying to remember what happened earlier here at home. Then it dawned on him.

“Oh, about the case?” His eyebrows lifted up in recognition. I nodded excitedly.

“Well, the body was found near the town’s archway, the entrance. Do you remember that place? The one where we took a lot of photos the first time you visited here? We also have to walk to that spot–”

I smiled widely, remembering it vividly. How could I forget about my first time visiting Cape Town? My brother rented a car so he can fetch me from the city and tour me around this place. We stopped everywhere that he deemed looked nice, making me pose on them a couple of times like what mothers do with their child.

One of the first photos that I have of this town is with that archway. It doesn’t look anything remarkable, just two huge stone pillars with a connecting metal arch. It’s engraved with elaborate designs and a huge signage of the town’s name on it. It looks old, and worn out at best, but I’m fond of that memory and of that particular place. It’s like a symbol of hope for me.

A new place

…and a fresh start.

Is it?