Author's Preface
The branches of the trees danced in the soft breeze. The sound of ruffled leaves, the sole semblance of motion in the empty graveyard. No stray cats or dogs or any other animal walked the secluded area at this late hour. Only two shadowy figures, looking around and whispering.
“May I inquire as to the specific purpose of our current activities?” Vlad asked as he and Dani marched down another row of gravestones laid upon the dead grass.
"We're looking for an empty grave," said Dani. "I think the monster of the week might be an Upir."
"An Upir?” The vampire raised an eyebrow, darting his eyes towards the huntress.
"They are creatures similar to ghouls and have the power to decimate entire villages. Unlike regular strigoi, they are not transformed by drinking the blood of another strigoi. They are the cursed walking corpses of witches or sorcerers. At least that's what the hunter's guide says. I’m surprised you didn’t know that. Get your vampire 101 straight.”
Dani was walking with a flashlight in one hand and a water bottle in the other, but by the wobble in her gait, Vlad concluded that its contents were more than likely some type of transparent alcohol. She was a curious sight. A short woman with an even shorter temper, wearing a tracksuit and cursing like a sailor at even the slightest inconvenience. She didn't possess superhuman strength, yet she took down two vampires, both more than twice her size, seemingly without any effort. Her friend, on the other hand, had the brawn but was hindered by his complete lack of courage. Two polar opposites.
Vlad scratched his chin as they took a short pause to rest. His eyes were set on the huntress as she finally emptied her bottle. Since the beginning of their journey, she hadn’t stopped drinking, making him wonder where she fit all of this alcohol in her tiny body, and more importantly, how was she still standing on her feet?
"How did someone like you become a hunter?" he spurted out loud.
"It's a long story. Let's just say that due to a certain event, I quickly had to make a change in career paths. My old job wasn't any less dangerous either," said Dani as she checked her pockets for a flask.
"I used to be in the Wallachian army as a young man in an age far gone. Women were prohibited from going to war. Does the new world allow females to be warriors?"
"I ain't fighting no wars." She shook her head, laughing. "I wanted to be an MMA fighter back in high school, but that dream went down the drain along with others.”
“Why?”
“You’re a curious little bloodsucker, aren't you?” She furrowed her eyebrows.
“Forgive me if I may have offended you in some manner.”
“I don’t like being asked about my past. Someone as prim as you wouldn’t be able to stomach it.”
Vlad answered with a nod, unwilling to dive deeper into the rabbit hole. They continued their task of searching the graves, each row making it clearer that their efforts might be fruitless.
"Tsk, what a pain," Dani groaned, kicking a pebble which ricocheted in one of the gravestones and hit her in the knee. "Jebem ti matter [fuck your mother]!” she cursed loudly.
"Should we check the other graveyard in town? I'm certain there were two."
"Forget it." She sighed. "Where is the nearest bar in this God-forsaken place?"
"Why would an Upir attend a bar?"
"I'm not going there to search for that bloody fucker. I'm going there to get wasted."
"What about your target?" The vampire grew ever more perplexed.
"It can wait. Khabib and Poirier are fighting tonight, I don't want to miss it." With these words, she strode off, flipping her car keys in one hand while humming a song in her home language.
Vald, amused by her lackadaisical nature, followed her. Never in his long years of walking the earth had he seen a woman more peculiar.
"These two men you're speaking of," he began. "Why are they fighting at the bar?"
"They are not fighting at the bar, dummy. They are fighting on live television. Haven't you heard of the UFC?" The vampire shook his head. "Have you been living under a rock for the past thirty years?"
"Not quite. My friends and I have only recently been awakened from our slumber. We might not be familiar with your modern terms and customs."
"Well, let me give you a crash course." Dani smiled, giving him a friendly pat. "What's the last thing you remember?"
"I don't know."
"Do you remember the fall of Caučescu?"
"Who's that?"
"World War II?"
“There was a first?”
"Do you know what this is?" She drew her 9mm to show it.
"That's a pistol, though the shape and size are different from what I’ve seen," his eyes trailed to the machete she was carrying, which rested in its scabbard behind her back. "I'm more curious about your sword. I thought a hunter would attack us with a wooden stake."
“Oh, this." The huntress unseathed her weapon with a wicked grin and exuding pride. "This is way better than a stake. This baby can cut through anything!”
“Where did you get it from?”
The smile on her face grew even wider as she said:
"I stole it.”
***
Meanwhile, Ian had positioned himself on the couch in the vampires' apartment, trying to claim as little space as possible. He was too scared to run away. On one hand, he feared that those two might return from their hunt and punish him for trying to escape while their leader was away and helping Dani. On the other hand, he couldn't stand sitting around doing nothing while there was a chance his captors might want to take their revenge on him. He anxiously anticipated their arrival, silently cursing the day he met the huntress.
His friendship with her brought him nothing but pain and the occasional fear of being slaughtered on one of their missions. Had he known what his life would turn out to be, he would never have hired her back then in the first place. His fate was sealed the moment she trudged through his doorstep, demanding a glass of whiskey and her new target’s location.
A chill went down his spine as he heard the door opening. Gavril and Matei entered, followed by a petite blonde woman draped in a blood-stained woolen scarf. Her eyes appeared to be locked onto a different space, as if she had left her body on autopilot.
"Here," Gavril nudged her over at Ian's direction. "You can have her as long as you make sure not to drain too much. We don't know what kind of vampire you are, but bear in mind that Vlad will never forgive you if you kill her.
The woman dragged her feet, sluggishly making her way towards Ian, and removed her scarf. There wasn’t a hint of hesitation in her actions, having as much self-awareness as a doll. She tilted her head, revealing her neck, casually inviting him to take a bite.
"No, no, no, I can't possibly!" Ian backed away, face ridden with worry.
"What's wrong? We thought you might be hungry. It's on the house, no need to be shy," said Gavril.
"What have you done to her?” Ian’s voice trembled. “She looks like she's been possessed by something."
"We put her under hypnosis so she wouldn't resist. It's pretty convenient. When she gets back home, she won't remember a thing."
The woman remained silent, standing there like a broken puppet waiting for the frightened man before her to quench his hunger, so she could return to her daily task of scrolling on her phone until she fell asleep. There weren't any thoughts going through her head, just eternal blissful ignorance of where she was or what she was doing. Seeing the vacuous look on her face, Ian couldn't help but feel his heart aching for someone who could have their strings pulled so easily.
He had no intentions to kill her. Even the thought of hurting her was enough to make his mind conjure up images that made him lose all appetite.
"I think I'll eat some fruit or something instead. Thank you." Ian shook his head, stepping back from the offering.
"You can eat human food?" Matei asked, dumbfounded. Gavril leaned in closer as if he had suddenly snapped out of his reverie and unconsciously matched the expression of his friend's face.
"Yes," said Ian. "I only drink blood occasionally, so I don't go insane from hunger. I have no problem eating normal food."
"Lucky you," Gavril snickered, his voice expressing bewilderment with a note of jealousy. "I can't remember the last time I tasted something different than that familiar warm, red, liquid iron." He took a step forward, snapping his fingers, which effectively signaled to the woman to leave the room and continue with whatever she thought was the best way to spend her evening. "You're an interesting fellow, and you don't seem the slightest bit as hostile as your friend. I'm curious to find how someone like you ended up working for that huntress."
"I'm not working for her,” he said. “She is my self-proclaimed ‘business partner'. Due to unfortunate circumstances, I'm stuck as her roommate."
"Stuck, you say?” Mused Gavril. “That sounds a lot like us. Ever since we became vampires, it’s been nothing but bad luck for all three of us. Isn’t that right, Matei?” His friend nodded. “That’s why we decided not to kill humans, and to do anything in our power to avoid causing them distress. We believe in the concept of karma.”
“You do?” Ian raised an eyebrow. His days spent with the huntress had rendered him incapable of being surprised by anything, and yet that statement still managed to raise suspicion.
“Yes,” Gavril continued.” We learned to look at the positive side of things. For example, you might think it terrible not to be able to walk under the sunlight, but what if we were allergic to the night instead? I thank whatever cosmic deity there is that we can lurk in the shadows.
“I suppose if you look at it this way…” Ian scratched his head. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m not particularly stoked about being a vampire.”
“How so?”
“It wasn’t my choice to begin with,” he explained, settling to a more comfortable position on the couch. “A year ago, my sister went missing, so I hired Dani to find her. She introduced herself as a paranormal investigator, and at first, I thought she was insane. Little did I know back then that the word ‘insane’ isn’t nearly enough to describe the amount of lunacy that woman possesses. At the end, not only did she not find my sister, but she gave me vampiric blood and turned me into a monster! No offence.”
“Was that gesture of hers made to perhaps save you from dying?” asked Matei with a curious look in his eyes.
“Why does it matter? I have a phobia of the sun because of her. I would much rather be buried six feet deep than live like this! Again, no offence.”
“None taken, and if I may add, you do make even us pacifist vampires look bad.” Ian slouched, a bit hurt by that statement, though it wasn’t something he didn’t already know. “Given how cowardly you are, we wondered why that beast of a woman keeps you around.”
“I believe it’s her complete lack of computer literacy. Every time I lend her my laptop, I get it back full of viruses because of the stupid Russian pirate websites she uses.” Ian looked up to see the bewildered look on his hosts’ faces, leading him to believe neither of them had an idea what he was talking about. “Anyway. Speaking of computers, I heard you guys have trouble with yours. I might be able to help.”
“What’s a commuter?” The other two vampires said almost in unison.
“A computer is…” Ian began, his brain immediately filling with technical terms before stopping himself, realizing that would only confuse them further, and possibly put him in a position where he had to explain the entire history of the machine in the span of one evening. “It’s this thing.” He pointed at their laptop. “This is a computer.”
“You mean the ‘magic book’?” asked Gavril.
“Yes. The ‘magic book’. How did you even get your hands on one?”
"It was the human," said Matei. "He gave it to us and told us it can be used to search for everything."
"And naturally, the first thing you did was to look up adult videos?” asked Ian, after witnessing the contents on the monitor, then blinked twice, trying to convey puzzlement. However, his expression turned judgmental when he crossed his arms and looked down at them from above the frames of his glasses. A response didn't follow, only the occasional awkward glance at the ceiling as if they were suddenly stricken by the inspiration to count all the cobwebs on it.
There was one thought that had troubled Ian ever since he had become acquainted with them: if the trio weren’t the true culprits behind the case, then why did the request they received have their specific address written in it? Could it be that whoever was behind this wanted them dead?
"Say," he began, "does anyone in this apartment complex have a bone to pick with you?"
"Nobody knows we even live here," said Matei. "Whenever we go out for a hunt, we hypnotize our catch, then let them go as soon as we've drained a few ounces of their blood."
"What about that human you mentioned?"
"Who? Nikolai? That kid wouldn't hurt a fly," Gavril sneered at the suggestion. "I've seen him leave out food for the stray dogs, despite barely being able to afford his share."
"He knows you are vampires. No?"
"Of course he does. He was the one who helped us settle into this place when we woke up."
"Can I talk to him?" Ian persisted.
The other two exchanged questioning glances, and Ian patiently waited for them to reach a mutual understanding through telepathy.
“I don’t know if this is a good idea, pal,” said Matei, crossing his arms. “If your idea of talking is as good as your friend’s, then we would strongly suggest against it.”
“We don’t want you to cause him trouble,” added Gavril as he stared him down under furrowed eyebrows. “Despite his weathered looks, he’s a decent boy. He often keeps to himself. If he doesn’t want to talk to you, don’t press him on it.”
“Understood.”
***
Nikolai's apartment was two floors below the vampires’ den. Ian walked cautiously as if he were prepared to enter a match. He didn't know what to expect. He didn't even know what to say upon opening the door. The thought of introducing himself as a monster hunter who is also a vampire didn't sit well with him either. Usually, he would let Dani do the talking as he stood by, and on occasion, correct her on the details she got mixed up either by accident or by being piss-out drunk. Somehow, her proclivity to down a bottle of rakija before going on a hunt didn't hinder her ability to fight. A fact that Ian found hard to wrap his head around to this day, and yet for everyone who knew the huntress, there was hardly anything about her that made sense.
Ian knocked on the door with the number 709 written on it. He knocked twice. Thrice. On the fourth attempt, he let out a sigh of relief that the apartment was empty and decided to let the matter settle on its own. The buzzing of flies accompanied him as he walked back to the stairway. One landed on the lens of his glasses, and he waved his hand, chasing it off with annoyance. For a moment, he looked back and was surprised to see how many of them were flying around the premises, like little vermin battling for a snack. A familiar smell tickled his nostrils, and he found it hard to resist the urge to find out where it was coming from. The stench grew putrid as he walked further down the dimly lit corridor. He cursed his curiosity, but his legs didn't waver, moving as if they were under a spell.
"Don't go there," a faint, timid voice stopped him. "My neighbors work as butchers. This entire floor reeks of a slaughterhouse 'cause of 'em."
The boy who the barely audible voice belonged to was standing before door 709, one skinny hand holding a key, and the other trembling from the crushing weight of the bag of groceries he was trying so desperately not to drop on his ragged sneakers. Being the good Samaritan he was, Ian rushed in to help.
"Thank you," the boy said with a faint smile. "Have you moved in recently, or are you visiting someone? Haven't seen you around."
"Neither," Ian spat out without thinking. "I mean, yes, I'm visiting someone. My friends are from apartment 908. You must be Nikolai, I assume."
"I would prefer it if you called me Nik."
Ian nodded and introduced himself, thinking carefully about what he would say next.
"See, Nik. I'm afraid our mutual friends from apartment 908 are being framed for something they didn't do. Do you know if there is anyone who might want to get rid of them in one way or another?"
"Our landlady, perhaps."
"Does she know they are…"
“Immigrants?”
“I was going to say vampires.”
“No.” The boy shook his head. "But she hates everyone, so it's a safe bet to say she wants to get rid of ‘em. Are you a vampire?”
"It depends. Are you frightened?” Ian questioned, raising an eyebrow.
"Not at all."
"Then, yes. I am a vampire."
"Were you going to lie to me if I said yes?"
Ian felt as if this whole conversation was a massive waste of time, so he tried to excuse himself.
"Maybe I'll ask your butcher neighbors if they know anything."
"No, no, wait." Nik grabbed him by the sleeve of his shirt. His expression changed for a split second with a slight shade of concern dimming his bright yellow eyes. "Is this about the recent killings?" His tone shifted to a lower decibel. He pulled Ian closer as he glanced around to see if anyone was listening. With a voice close to a whisper, he added: "Are you a hunter?"
