Midnight Marcher

Life is nothing but a bucket full of trials, isn't it?

And yet, one particular girl refuses to see it that way. In her mind, held together by bandages and daydreams, there's much more water for one to scoop up if one has the patience to do it, even with a cup full of holes.

Her name was Sophia March. Everyone just called her 'Loony Marcher.'

She had the eyes of an ocean, the energy of a passing tornado, and a smile painted like a clown in a circus.

"Hey, Looney Marcher!" The other kids would taunt. But her smile never wavered.

She has a heart as soft as a bird, and she tries to see her world through rose-colored glasses.

[There are people in the hallway. They were all talking. I don't hear them well.]

There was an empty bottle on the ground, broken. Miss Sophia crouched down and picked it up. The jagged edges were sharp, and she accidentally nicked her finger. She raised it to her face and peeked at the opening. Her fingers remained close to the sharp edges.

"Are you okay?" A boy once asked her. His brown eyes were warm, and his forehead was wrinkled, as if he was worried about something. That wouldn't do.

"No problem!" Miss Sophia March would say, her own voice drowning in a sea of cacophonies.

[There are voices in my head. They were also talking. What are they talking about?]

The warm boy would look at her with obvious confusion. Sophia smiled wider, but the gauze on her right cheek made it a bit difficult.

"No problem!" She repeated. Always repeating. Always smiling

"You look hurt." The smiles never seemed to work with him. Only him. She wondered why.

"No, I'm not," she would say while still trying to smile at him. "I was trying to see my future."

"Your future?" He tilted his head, confused.

"Yes! Unfortunately, it's still too far away for me to see. But don't worry! I'll just roll it again!" And Miss March would run, run down the hallway where there are the fewest people. The warm body is silly, she thought. Even the others said it, sometimes, especially when he tries to talk to her. He also made her feel a little silly, something fluttering in her tummy. It doesn't hurt, so it made her smile.

But then the voices would come back louder, and the warmth would get lost in the sea of unfamiliar faces.

[The voices continued talking. Their voices were getting louder. Why are they getting louder?]

No matter. Maybe they'll be gone tomorrow.

"Hey! Looney Marcher's wearing pink-colored gauze today!" A kid shouted in the hallway.

Sophia March could not see their faces well, as her right eye was covered by said pink gauze. But she could still hear. That was good. She could hear them calling her, and she would give them all her usual smile.

"Is everything fine?"

Ah. That warm boy was standing in front of her again. She would look in his eyes, her smile never wavering. "Of course, there's no problem!" He still looked at her doubtfully.

[The voices were still getting louder. They're not stopping.]

[Sophia March wanted to cover her ears.]

"Hey?"

"There's no problem! I'll just make sure to roll out of the way better next time!" His gaze dropped to her hand, where she was holding a small white dice, its edges chipped badly. She carries a dice with her every day. Before going out of her room, she would try to guess if the day would be better by tossing her dice.

Warm boy blinked at her. "Have you seen your future, then?"

Miss Sophia March blinked. She opened her mouth, but no words came out. She tried again.

"No, not yet. It's still too far away for me to see." The number from the dice was low today. Sophia has never seen her numbers other than low.

She still rolls it every day. And every day, she would roll through the day.

[The kids were all still laughing. Are they laughing at something? She couldn't see well.]

Warm boy continued to look at her. Somehow, it made her legs feel a bit steadier. "Why do you want to see your future so badly?" He asked.

Sophia stopped to think. Huh. She tilted her head to the side before giving him her answer.

"I wanted to know if I had a future."

[The voices were ringing in my ears. Why were my ears ringing?

There's a strong smell in the air, followed by the sound of bottles toppling.

Ah, Mom's home.]

Sophia March hated wearing long-sleeved shirts.

"Heyo, Looney Marcher! Why are you wearing long sleeves? It's the middle of summer!"

The young girl with the ever-present smile would stop to answer. "I forgot to do the laundry."

The bell rang, and the students ran in every direction. Someone knocked Sophia and made her lose her grip on her books, the items falling to the ground. Before she could, someone reached for her things and gave them to her.

"Are you alright? I saw you get bumped by someone hard," Warm boy said with a small smile on his lips. His smile is equally as warm.

"Oh! Yes, I am fine, thank you." Sophia held her books in one arm. He's much easier to talk to than the others, she realizes. Warm boy's eyes zoomed in on the purple color underneath her sleeve.

The bell rang again to signal the beginning of class. Sophia March ran towards the end of the hall with her eyes to the ground.

[My head hurts, and my ears are ringing worse than before. The two voices were arguing too loudly.]

Dad was home. Sophia March hasn't seen him in almost a week.

Sophia thought she gave him a smile when he entered the door, but she couldn't quite remember. Her head hurt, and her ears were ringing. Her head leaned against something solid. Oh, she was against the wall.

[There are too many voices. Please, stop.]

Sophia could also hear other sounds. Broken glasses. Chairs upturned. Silverware is hitting the wall. Her father was also upset. There was a loud bang on the wall. It sounded like there was a hole in the plastered wall now. Sophia noticed her math textbook next to her on the floor.

[Please. Someone. Anyone, make it stop!!!]

Midnight stroked. Mom and Dad had finally fallen silent. It took longer than usual for them to fall silent today.

Sophia March pulled herself and her weak legs from the wall and ran towards the open door. The world was dark, but she didn't mind. She was used to it.

[Someone. . .]

Sophia opened her eyes. From the dim and flickering lights of a handful of street lamps, she arrived at a bridge. The water was black. The sky was also black.

The voices of Mom and Dad were still echoing inside her head. Their voices always sounded the same, whenever they looked at her or at each other. Their voices never stopped ringing, even as she scratched her ears until they turned bloody.

"What are you doing?!"

[Someone, please see me. Please save me.]

Sophia March looked up at the voice and saw Warm Boy. He looked different in a different uniform. He's wearing a red cap and a beige-colored shirt with the logo of 7/Eleven on its breast pocket, black pants, and well-worn Converse.

His face then does not look like his usual warm face. His brown eyes were wide, and his arms were stretched towards her hesitantly, like she would run away if he tried to do something.

Sophia March wanted to laugh. Why would she run from Warm Boy?

She would run away from Mom and Dad, and she would run away from the other students at school. Sometimes, she would also run from the teachers; they never really listened to her.

But she never felt the urge to run from him. Only him. Never him.

"Okay," Warm Boy took a hesitant step. "Please, just–don't panic." His face looked so ridiculous that Sophia wanted to laugh, if she could. "Just—take my hand and slowly get your leg from the railing, okay? I don't want you to slip down the water."

Sophia looked at the boy. "I was just trying to find my future."

Warm boy took another step. "I don't think you'll find your future if you jump down the side of this bridge. Just—come on. Just please trust me."

Trust me.

Sophia's eyes then misted, and her shoulders shook. Warm Boy then took the rest of the steps towards her and gently took her hand while making sure she would not slip down the river. He sat her down and took a bottle of soda from the plastic bag he was carrying. "Sorry. I don't have any water."

Sophia took the bottle and opened it without talking. Her face felt wet. She touched her cheek and sniffled. "Sorry. I don't think I can stop crying."

Warm Boy looked at her, his warm smile back on his face as he held her hand. "That's just what you do."

She blinked. "When I'm what?"

He looked her in the eye. "When you feel painful or sad."

Sophia blinked at him again. "I am not sad."

He tilted his head. "I think you are, though."

Sophia March couldn't say anything as a whine erupted from her throat and her tears, the ones held inside her for how long, flowed freely down her face. Warm Boy wrapped an arm around her and pulled her in as she cried and cried and cried, until her throat became sore.

The two didn't move until the last of Sophia's hiccups stopped. He grabbed the open bottle and gave it to her.

"By the way,"

Sophia eyed him.

"The name's Andie. You can just call me that in school instead of murmuring 'warm boy'."

Sophia March suddenly felt her cheeks warm, so she quickly covered them with her hands. It made Warm Boy—Andie—laugh.

"Hey, is that your dice?"

They both looked down and saw the dice's face facing five.

Not the highest number, but it's the first highest number Sophia ever had.

For the first time in years, Sophia March felt herself smiling for real.