It was that confusing thought. That crazy thought, which brought me to this situation. It was forcing these deranged and wacky words out of my mouth. The thought which forced itself into existence from some dark abyss in my head that I wasn’t aware of. The thought was in my mind, but its meaning eluded me. It was like the thought was locked with a combination and I had forgotten the code. I could twist and turn it trying multiple codes, and it would seem to be getting closer and closer to unlocking but still remain locked.
I was still grappling with the thought when she began speaking “I came here expecting the night to turn out completely differently but I’m glad that it has gone the way that it did.”
I wanted to reply but I couldn’t because I was close to deciphering the thought. I needed to find the code.
She didn’t seem to mind and continued talking “When you came and sat next to me, I thought you were just looking for company to smoke with and that we’d have a minor conversation and then you would be on your way...”
1... the first number in the code. One week ago. This wasn’t the first time I’d seen her on the bridge. A week ago, I had seen her standing on the bridge leaning against her parked car. Two more numbers.
“But you decided to stay and talk about the bloody bridge. You defended it and talked about it like it was your obligation... “
4... the second number. Four days ago. She was sitting cross-legged, on the side of the bridge towering over the deep ravine.
“And I don’t know if you know it, but it helped. Talking about the bridge weirdly got to me...”
2... the final number. Her two feet were dangling on the side of the bridge today over the canopy of trees. Dangling. Her feet were dangling. She wasn’t planning on getting back up today. She was going to jump. She was going to kill herself.
“You see, I didn’t plan on going back home today. When I said I was almost at the end of my time, I didn’t mean here on this bridge. I meant here for good. I was ready to give up my life. But then we talked and it’s not that our conversation was so powerful that I decided not to but it was the fact that it happened. You could have just walked past me like every other person. You didn’t have to sit next to me. I was looking for a sign to continue, and this was it. This entire exchange was a miracle and it was exemplified by the fact that you personified the bridge and talked about the impact it would have even after it collapses. That was the sign I needed. Thank you.”
I couldn’t react. I was still in a state of shock. I helped someone today. It was very confusing but I was still glad that I did what I did.
We sat for a while and then she had to go. I helped her up, dropped her off at the bus stop and went home. Although I never saw her again, every time I walked past the bridge, her face resurfaced and I knew she was doing just fine.