Loki

I couldn’t get out of bed at all. I didn’t want to see the morning. On one hand, I was glad I wasn’t stuck in that damn night; on the other, I was sure I hadn’t dreamed. Everything I saw was real, and I didn’t want to face reality.

Even though Loki had entered and left several times, each time I heard the door open, I gently closed my eyes again.

Odin’s sentence echoed in my ears: "Freedom is worth the fear."

The small paintings across from my bed, and the drawing of a dog now staring at me—none of the paintings or photos in this house looked at you. But this was the first one staring directly at me.

I had to leave. But not from this house.
Rather, into the heart of this house.

There were still many photos left to be completed and many paintings that would stare at me.

The sound of kitchen dishes came, but strangely, every day exactly when I decided to go for breakfast, everything seemed ready a few minutes before. It didn’t matter if I woke up late or early.
The house’s clock was adjusted to me.

I looked into Ada’s room to feel Odin’s absence, but I was strangely shocked. The room’s furniture had been moved. When? How hadn’t I heard? And Odin’s belongings were gone.

I felt strange.
As if my mind was slowly drifting farther away.

I rushed to the kitchen. The smell of breakfast strangely intoxicated me. I tried to ask Ada about Odin and his things, but it was like having a name on the tip of your tongue but not remembering it.

All my worry was that Ada might be sad about Odin’s absence, or a severe emotional shock might have made her change the room’s decor. But no.
It was as if there had never been a dog in this house. Even the water and food bowls were gone.

Loki was eating. Ada greeted me warmly, placing tea on the table next to French toast decorated with banana puree, cinnamon, and a raspberry.

"Him…" The rest of the sentence got stuck like a lump in my throat.

"What?"

My heart was racing.
I was sure something was missing from the house, but my mind was slowly losing the ability to shape it.
It was like trying to grab water with my hands.

Loki glanced at me, as if waiting to see how long the forgetting process would take.

"The human brain deletes more than you think to survive." Loki said

And he continued eating.

I was frozen. It wasn’t just the house—my own mind was cooperating.

Ada touched my hand.
"Are you okay? Nooshin, can you hear me? Come, sit. Why are you so cold? You’re probably hungry—your blood pressure dropped. You woke up very late today."

She brought a thin blanket and wrapped it around me.
"You think too much. I’ve told you a thousand times: either it will work out, or if it doesn’t, it will end. Now, do you think constantly worrying changes anything?"

"When did you fix the crack on the ceiling?" Nooshin said

"In this state, you’re thinking about the ceiling crack? Girl, you’re not well. Eat your breakfast." Ada said

I took her hand.
"Ada, when did you fix it?"

She looked at the ceiling and asked, "Which crack?"
"The one right there. Nooshin said

Look. Thank God it’s gone now." Ada said

"I know it’s not there now, but it was there until last night. When did you fix it?" Nooshin said

"Until last night? It was probably in your dream, dear. So we fixed it while you were sleeping." Ada said

"Who fixed it?" Nooshin said

"Nooshin, enough. Let go of my hand. Eat your breakfast. You chase your dreams even while awake. The important thing is that there’s no crack now." Ada said

To stop me from getting upset, she joked,

"You know I don’t dream. So stop bragging." Ada said

Ada didn’t realize, but the house had repaired itself by deleting, to protect the rest from me.

The taste of cinnamon in the banana puree slowly intoxicated me. I was so hungry I could barely connect Ada’s sentences. It was as if each of her words was written on a separate page.

I was sure the food in this house had magic, but it didn’t matter—it barely filled me, but the taste was satisfying.

The sound of a knife and fork on the toast kept echoing in my mind. I couldn’t hear other sounds anymore.

Then Ada seemed to ask me something.

"Can you repeat that?" Nooshin said

She smiled. "I’m glad you like breakfast." Ada said

"You asked something. Please ask again." Nooshin said

"Do you want to not feel bad anymore?" Ada said

"Yes." Nooshin said

"Forget the bad memories." Ada said

"If I forget them, do you think Nooshin will still remain? Our identity changes a lot without our pains and sufferings, doesn’t it?"

The teacup in Ada’s hand trembled slightly—as if the question was scary, but even more, she was afraid of the answer she might give.

"But wounds, when they stay, get old. And suddenly, you see that pain has become your whole personality."

"But you know, a bad memory isn’t that scary. The pain isn’t that painful. What’s scary is ignoring your wound without treating it. It’s like covering it with a cloth just so you don’t see it—but it still hurts."

"But you don’t understand."

"You do, but you’ve gotten used to the pain. And then you think you don’t understand." Nooshin said

And Ada said very quietly:
"But the day you think you’ve forgotten everything, your soul realizes something is missing."

A thunderclap made us both jump.
Ada quickly got up to close the window.

"Rain again." Ada said

But it wasn’t rain. It was the house’s anger, listening to our consciousness.

Loki started acting cute for Ada, stealing glances at me—as if to say, "Don’t tell her you can’t cooperate with the house and stop consciousness. The house doesn’t just eat memories; it eventually swallows the person who lived them too."

I went toward the stairs to see the picture frames again. I wasn’t afraid anymore. The house had become like an opponent in a game, and I had to win. I wanted to find Loki’s picture frame—the beach, the restaurant, the birthday? Which one could it be? Suddenly—

"Don’t stare."

It was Ada, right behind me. Loki stood beside her, but this time her face wasn’t kind, and even her tone wasn’t compassionate.
Her tone was exactly like someone trying to protect their territory.

I tried to hide my anxiety. I was scared—had she noticed the train in the photo?
Maybe she just didn’t want me to get close to her memories and wake them.

Loki had sensed the danger well, staring at me with his big green eyes.

I said gently, "You’re right. You told me before."

I went down the stairs and sat right in front of the aquarium.
I waited for the space to calm down, staring at the aquarium—not once, but several times.
I rubbed my eyes. Again.
It didn’t work. I focused. Again.
It didn’t work.

I started thinking about the last time I had seen a memory. What had I done? Breakfast, talked to Ada, went to the basement. Yes, the basement. I should go there. Maybe I’d find something related, and then I could find the memory.

I went toward the stairs to go down quietly. I was terrified. Besides having to sneak past Ada, facing that mysterious floor was daunting.

As I put my first step on the hallway stairs, something soft wrapped around my feet and continued.

"As long as I don’t want you to, you can’t see it."

Loki’s tail, like a graceful snake, curled around my legs.

He continued:
"That dog."
Even now, you don’t remember its name."

My heart felt squeezed. Something moved in my mind. I felt an emptiness but couldn’t find its shape.

"I don’t want to be forgotten, you know?" Loki said

"The house first takes your pain, heals your wounds—but with one condition: forgetting." Loki said

"If you’re not grateful and try to remember again, it’s like rubbing salt into your wound. And then you deserve to die." Loki said

"How do you know you’ll die?" Nooshin said

"We don’t know where that dog is, so it must be dead." Loki said

"We just don’t know. We just don’t remember. That doesn’t mean it’s dead." Nooshin said

He narrowed his eyes and said angrily, "Worse: you’ll be forgotten. You don’t even remember its name." Loki said

"Everyone forgets. Some sooner, some later." Nooshin said

His tone was sad, because deep down he believed forgetting wasn’t good, and Loki had the right to be scared.

His ears drooped, and he held his head low.

"Erasing the problem, living in fantasies, distancing yourself from everything—making this house your territory—that’s not life. You have to make mistakes. Your memories have to hurt you in some scenes so you can discover." Nooshin said

Suddenly, the sound of a howling wind echoed through the whole house.

Loki said quietly, filled with stress:
"You don’t understand."

"Help me understand." Nooshin said

"The house listens."
"Always listens."

"I don’t want it to eat me." Loki said

He quickly ran up the stairs, higher and higher, toward the

confession hole.

I sat on the sofa facing the aquarium. My eyes fell on a

book I had brought from downstairs—but I wasn't sure. Had I put it on the

table, right in front of Ada? Impossible.

Maybe Ada had seen it and was angry. But if she had seen it,

the book wouldn't be here. Yet I was sure I hadn't put it there.