Who should I imagine as a good and capable man? Which person embodies such characteristics?
No figure came out immediately.
Wenzo…
His parents are well-off, so he's used to being spoiled without even trying. At school, he's always around these top-tier students, the kind who are constantly in the spotlight or doing something impressive. It's like he naturally exists in that world of privilege and success. But is that really enough to call him good and capable?
“What did you say?” Shamikha rolled her wheelchair to turn to me.
Wait, did I really say that? I cannot believe myself either. Spouting nonsense is funny, but not at this moment.
“H-Huh?” I stuttered.
“Did you invite me to live with you?”
“…Yes… What you heard was right.”
She flustered. “Why?”
Ivy left us.
It took me some time to pause for a while. “Let’s live together… in my house. I can rent a new house if you want to move to another place.”
“But why with you? Why are you taking me in?”
“I live alone. My current place has plenty of space for one more person. With what Wenzo said, you can’t sustain yourself anymore, right? And he's invading your privacy in your own house. I can look after you, so you don’t have to hire a caregiver. I am a working student and will get a second job after graduation, which is weeks away. I’ll help you with your healthcare bills.”
I may not yet be a good and capable person, but I can be one.
“Ravael…”
“It’s up to you. You can stay there as long as you want or leave whenever you want.”
She stared at me with great concern. She mostly expected that from me; I was even shocked, too. “That’s a great invitation.”
I smiled.
“But as you know, I’m on a tight budget. The tightest I’ve ever been. Honestly, I couldn’t afford to split rent with you. My tutorial service isn’t making enough to meet my needs.”
“I know. You can stay at my place for free.”
“What?” she was surprised. “That’s not fair to you. Besides, I’m not sure if my legs can recover immediately so I could work and contribute.”
“I won’t ask you for anything.”
“I couldn’t even feed myself sometimes,” she chuckled. “Are you serious about that?”
“Certainly, I am.”
“Why are you doing this to me?”
“Do I have a reason to?”
“Is it because of Jesse? Do you still feel guilty that I lost her because of you?”
“Before, yes. Now, I want to do it because I want to. It’s a personal choice driven by my own.”
“How about your initial job? Do you still work in a-”
“I quit that dirty job months ago. I work as a service crew member in a fast-food chain.” I smiled, reassuring her. I paused. “You don’t have to worry a thing.”
***
As expected, Shamikha turned down my proposal to live with me.
What was I even thinking? That she'd actually say yes?
It's graduation day. The biggest day for my classmates. Their parents are all here with them before we march onto the stage to receive those fake diplomas. Everyone's got these huge smiles on their faces. They giggle as they're about to climb the stairs to the stage. Some are showing off their academic achievements. Others are bragging about what gifts their parents promised them after the ceremony.
Honestly, this whole thing is making me sleepy. Time moved so slowly until it finally ended.
Congratulations on your graduation! Send us some photos.
My mother texted me.
I took a photo of myself with my phone, forced smile and all. Sent them what I looked like, along with a shot of the venue.
“Hey, Rafael. Congrats!” TJ called me.
“We made it this far.”
“Where are you heading?”
“Home”
“Is this your friend? Can he take a family picture of us?” an old woman asked TJ.
TJ took his camera out. “Please?”
I nodded and took his camera. “1,2,3, smile!... Okay, another one, smile!”
I took multiple shots with different poses for them.
“Thank you,” his father said.
“We’ll go now. Let’s keep in touch.” TJ uttered.
“Sure,” I smiled.
It's getting noisy here. I booked a ride and waited for it. Took off my toga and stuffed it into my black sling bag—the one I had on underneath the whole time. Five hours for that whole ceremony, and now I'm hungry. My ride showed up after ten minutes. I got in and wanted to go home.
My phone vibrates. It’s a call from Shamikha.
“Hello?” I answered it quickly.
“Hello?”
“How are you? Is everything alright?” Wondering why she called me.
Maybe she will congratulate me since it is graduation day. No, that’s not it. We became awkward after my proposal.
“Ravael…” I can hear her breathing deeply on the other line. “Can I live with you?”
***
Without hesitation, I helped her move in with me after graduation day.
I asked the driver to help carry Shamikha's three big luggage items out of the rented car. I grabbed her wheelchair, guided it carefully, and headed into the compound.
“Turn left to enter this compound. The road here is too narrow, a car won’t fit. That’s why the neighbors use motorcycles and bicycles instead.”
“Ahhh!” The kids screamed.
“Watch out, kids,” I told them. “Be careful running around.”
“Hi!” A small girl greeted us.
“Hello there, pretty girl,” Shamikha responded.
“There are a lot of children here as well.”
We stopped in front of my rented small bungalow. “The houses here are tiny and sit next to each other. You can hear the neighbors’ noise easily, but it can come in handy if you need help. They are welcoming and are willing to help.”
I inserted the key to the gate and to the door.
“I rented this place with two separate bedrooms, so you don’t have to worry. The rest are shared spaces.”
I grabbed the luggage and went inside.
“Looks good to me.”
“It’s not as big as your house, but I hope you’ll treat this as yours as well.”
“Thank you,” she smiled.
We share a common toilet and bath, kitchen, living room, laundry area, and a small porch where we leave our outside shoes.
I ordered dinner from somewhere nearby since we spent the whole time unpacking her items and settling in. I didn't ask anything about Wenzo not to put pressure on her. That can wait. Or let her bring it up if she ever wants to.
One month has passed since Shamikha moved in. It is Friday night. Shamikha was in the living area, folding our clean, dried laundry.
“Shamikha, I’m home.”
“Welcome home”
She’s cooking in the kitchen.
“Is it okay for you to stand now?”
She uses two crutches to support herself.
“Yup. I am recovering better than expected. I was able to use these a month earlier than scheduled. Teaching the kids has made me better.”
“The kids? Tutoring like what you did?”
“Sometimes, I play with the kids in this neighborhood. I hang out with them, and I teach them math and English for free.”
“That’s sweet.”
It is good news that Shamikha socializes with the people here, and she’s getting used to it. She does not have a lot of activities to do inside this house because of his condition, yet she found a way to make use of her time.
“I didn’t know you’re two years older than me.”
“I paused studying several times,” I responded, taking off my shoes at the patio.
“But look at you now, you’ve graduated and now have a decent job, unlike me.”
She looked at her two feet. “It must be so fulfilling to graduate with everyone and land a first job!”
She wasn’t able to graduate due to an accident which made her suffer from a leg injury that would take at least a year to heal and be able to walk normally again.
I couldn’t tell her that I wasn’t happy when I graduated without her. And having a better job than my previous one isn’t something to be proud of, as well. But I have two jobs now that would suffice our needs.
She laughed softly. “It’s funny thinking we’re dating yet we don’t know each other well.”
“Isn’t that the purpose of dating? To get to know each other?”
“The thing is, we’re already official, and we’re living together.”
I smiled. “You’re right. It is a strange setup, but we’re happy.”
“Tada! Let’s eat.” She served a whole casserole on the table.
I sat across from her. We prayed that was led by her.
I took the first bite of her cooking. As usual, it was delicious. This is one of the things I always look forward to after and even before work.
“You’re not saying anything. Do you like it?”
“I love it.”
She smirked. “You always love the food I make.”
"I'm a host at a hotel bar. Been there for two years now. Tuition and other expenses keep going up every year, so I had to take this kind of job. It pays more than my old regular ones. Honestly, it fits my routine pretty well. School in the morning until afternoon, then work at night. The schedule works perfectly.
They said I've got the looks, but I didn't meet their height requirement. Still, they gave me a week's trial to see how I'd do. Turns out I did better than the regular male hosts, taller than me, sure, but not as good-looking, I guess. I mostly greet and entertain guests. Less exhausting than being a waiter. But yeah, this job can get out of hand sometimes… like what happened with Jesse."
I don't tell any of my friends about this job. No one knows except my coworkers, Jesse, and now Shamikha. But honestly… I felt kind of light and liberated after telling her. Even if it's a job I'm not exactly proud of. Sharing it with her was weirdly refreshing. It’s rare not to worry about being judged or made fun of.
I kept talking. My mouth ran nonstop, and I didn't even notice. Stop, maybe I overshared. Or worse… maybe I made her feel disgusted by me.
“I'm sorry to hear that.”
“I’ve come to like my job after a few months of working. I receive huge tips from VIPs. And there’s a big chance for instant promotion.”
“What kind of promotion? Are you in a managerial position already?”
I chuckled at her innocent question. “It’s not how it works. What I meant by that is… You must do dirty acts with your customer to get extra cash.”
“Dirty… you mean?”
“Yes. One time, I was in huge debt. It was so bad I had to do something I didn’t want to. And that’s how Jesse came to the picture. She helped me pay my long-pending huge debts. In exchange for entertaining her outside of my job order.”
Why would she be amazed by my work? It’s nothing worth commending.
“Have you considered applying for a scholarship. Our school offers some.”
"I tried applying. But I'm not smart enough to meet their requirements. My grades in high school and college were average, nothing special. Definitely not scholar material. And I can't afford to stay after class doing those required student services for a tuition discount. My part-time job pays more than that. A tuition subsidy won't feed me or pay my rent or cover my bills. Unless I was some genius, I guess. So yeah… in short, it's just more practical for me to work outside instead."
“That must be hard on you.”
“It is. I gotta do what I gotta do.”
“Wenzo… Wenzo fired the caregiver on purpose and stopped my medication. I’m sorry for crying at you. I have no one to run to.”
She started sharing Wenzo. It took her more time, but I’m glad she’s comfortable with me.
“I never told anyone about Wenzo and me. It was only you, the nurse, and the caregiver who knew that he’s been paying for my hospital bills.”
“Why did he give you money?”
"To be honest... when Wenzo started booking those tutoring sessions, that was his way of courting me. We barely talked at school and acted like normal classmates. But whenever I'd go to his house to teach him, which was most of the time, he'd flirt with me. I ignored it at first because that wasn't part of my job. But I couldn’t turn down easily the large amount of money he was giving me. After my grandma passed away, things have been really hard for me." Her eyes are clouding her vision, and she can no longer hold back. “I’-I’m sorry for crying…”
“It’s okay.”
So that's the story behind it. Wenzo was at the hospital when he visited her. Now they're having issues with each other, and Shamikha wants to get away from him. I get that he wants to help, but harassment shouldn't even be part of the picture. I understand where he's coming from, but if he really loved Shamikha, he wouldn't take advantage of her situation by trying to buy her heart with money. He's a capable guy. Thanks to his rich parents, but that doesn't make him a good person. Honestly, according to Lyca, Wenzo isn't qualified to be Shamikha's boyfriend.
“Don’t worry, nobody knows from our acquaintances that you live here.”
“Thank you,” she wiped her tears. “Anyway, looking at our setup, we’re like living life as husband and wife,” she giggled.
I looked at her when she uttered that.
“Yes, we do,”
She’s wearing the pink bear apron I gave her. It suits her.
I dropped the spoon and fork. I raised my elbows and rested them on the table, interlocking my fingers.
“Hey, what do you say, we take this seriously?”
She feels silent for a while. “Will you give me some time to answer that?”
“O-Of course. Take as much time as you can.”
***
One night, I got home slightly later than usual. The fast food place was packed because of some event. It was a long, tiring day, but honestly, I was still excited to go home. It was 9:17 PM. Overtime isn't great, but I'm glad I got the extra pay. Took my usual public ride and made it home a little past 10 PM.
"Shamikha, I'm home," I said it softly—loud enough for her to hear, but not too loud. Used my keys to open the gate, then the front door, and took off my shoes. The living area and kitchen were empty. Maybe she's in her room.
Her bedroom door was locked. I didn't bother knocking. Didn't want to wake her up if she was asleep. Sat down at the dinner table and noticed there was no food. Checked the kitchen and the fridge. No signs that she cooked anything. She always insists on making home-cooked meals every day to help out around the house, but this is the first time she hasn't. I wonder if she's eaten dinner too.
Opened a can of food and waited 20 minutes for the rice to cook. Started thinking what if she's sick? So, I knocked on her door.
"Shamikha? I'm home. Have you eaten? You okay?"
No answer. Maybe she's in a deep sleep. I pressed my right ear against the door. Heard her quiet voice.
Is she awake? Talking to someone on the phone?
Rice finished cooking. Started eating my instant dinner.
My gaze turned to the left when Shamikha rolled her wheelchair towards me, wearing nightwear.
“Hey, I just arrived. Did I wake you up? Sorry, I was wondering maybe you’re sick because you didn’t cook. If you haven’t eaten yet, let’s eat together.” I grabbed a clean plate, spoon, and fork and put them on the table opposite me. “There was an event, and we got a lot of late customers, so I worked overtime. The manager insisted on training me as well for a possible promotion.” I announced with pleasure. If I get a promotion, I will be working harder, and it will give me a bigger responsibility, but I’ll earn more for Shamikha and me.
She didn’t react, lowering her head, and she stared at the floor. Her long brown hair covers half of her face. I stood and held her shoulders.
“Is there something wrong?”
She raised her head. Her eyes are puffy and swollen.
“Wenzo”
“Why? What’s with Wenzo?”
“He came here. He knew this place after searching for me when I left my house. H-He assaulted me.”