Two months passed. Our classmates started wondering why Jesse stopped showing up and dropped her classes, like that. Hasn't been seen since. No one knew if she had transferred, stopped studying altogether, or was even still alive.
Shamikha didn't have any news about her either. And for those same two months, she hasn't really been herself. Test scores dropped. Smiles come less often. She shows up late, barely hangs out with her remaining friends, and is… less enthusiastic than before. Still torn up about her best friend, I guess.
Class let out earlier than usual. I walked over to Shamikha.
“Shamikha, are you available right now? We could go out for lunch.”
“Hi, do you need something from me?”
“Let’s talk about your best friend.”
I took her to a place that is quite far from our school. It is an underrated restaurant, and we had the place all for ourselves. Instead of commuting on public transportation, I booked an e-hailing car. It brought us to our destination.
“How are you coping?”
I'm not used to her being like this. She’s too quiet for a carefree girl.
She looked down at the table after we ordered. “I blocked her from all my contacts after the incident. I don’t know her whereabouts. How about you?”
“I didn’t block him, but it seems he deactivated all his social media accounts, so I couldn’t get a hold of him.”
“I was asking about you.”
“Me… I’m the same as usual. But a bit better because nobody is blackmailing me.” Her eyes drooped. “Not that I wished Sam gone, but…”
“I understand. Since you didn’t report her, it’s the best that she’s not around you anymore.”
“How much do I owe you?”
“It’s on me.”
“No, I have to pay you.”
“I invited you here. And I haven’t thanked you yet for what happened to Jesse and me. Thank you for standing by the victim’s side.”
She has strong moral grounds because she left her best friend for a classmate with whom she rarely talks and doesn’t benefit from.
She smiled softly, grabbed my right hand, and slipped some cash into it.
“Here’s the payment for my order. I also felt indebted for overhearing your sensitive conversation. I know I’m now the right person to know it, but your secret is safe with me. I want to make it up to you, so please accept this.”
I gazed at the money she handed, maybe she’s concerned about my financial situation. Jesse phrased it like I was a man whore.
“Are you being conscious about my part-time job?”
She avoided my eyes. “No, not really.”
“I’m not what Jesse made me to be. I work as a waiter at a bar. Jesse was wrong in the part that I rent my body accessible to everyone. There are instances when it happens, but I am not accessible to everyone. To be exact, I am only accessible to selected clients.”
“You don’t have to tell me those, okay? I don’t need to know that.”
“But you’re curious, aren’t you?”
She nodded hesitantly.
Never did I imagine that I wouldn't be embarrassed talking about my dirty job to a girl with whom I’m not even close. Talking with her like this makes me want to spill all my secrets on her.
“You must have been exhausted.” She stirs her soda with a straw
“What do you mean?”
“How long has she been doing that? It must be killing you.”
K-Killing… Did that trash tell her about my felony?!
“He blackmailed me for almost three months. I tried giving him money to shut him up, but he refused. It wasn’t the thing he needed. I gave him sprinkles of my attention, prolonging the agony because maybe he would leak my secret. It worked out for a while, but he became impatient and demanded immediate action.”
“That’s…That’s horrible. I’ve no vision who Jesse is. She is cheerful, funny, and so kind to me…” tears fell from her eyes.
She wiped it quickly. “S-Sorry, I didn’t mean to cry in front of you. My crying face must be ridiculous,” she chuckled.
I scanned the restaurant. “It’s just us here. Cry to your heart’s content. You’ve been suppressing your emotions at school.”
She stretched her arms. She stared at her palms and both arms. “These were the hands that hugged my precious friend before we argued. I embraced her for one last time before we ended things.”
She covered her face, crying.
I grabbed my handkerchief from my right pocket in my pants when
I noticed she pulled out her handkerchief from her bag. It was familiar to me. I put back my handkerchief.
She sobbed. “I can do this,” she uplifts herself, mumbling. “I’ve lost many people in my life already, so losing Jesse must not put a major effect on me this much.”
“If it’s okay with you, who are these people you're referring to?”
“I lost my grandmother last year. She was the one who take care of me since I was a baby.”
“I’m sorry for asking.”
“I don’t mind.”
“How about your parents and siblings?”
“I’m an orphan. My grandma took me in when my parents were nowhere to be found. I don’t even know if I have a sibling. Living was fulfilling with my grandma around. Now, without Jesse, it’s been dull. I still have a couple of my friends, but losing a best friend is on a whole different level.”
She has a rough life. She must be living alone after her grandmother died.
“I guess we’re the same who lives alone now with only friends to lean into.”
“Are you living alone?”
“Yes, for years.”
“That’s so cool.”
What’s so cool about it?
She continued. “Uh, I mean, it has been hard for me to live alone for almost a year. But you’ve been doing it for a long time.”
“You’ll get used to it.”
She will, maybe it will take her longer to get used to it. Can't say for her because I’ve been doing it for 11 years.
I heard my name, so I stopped at our classroom before going downstairs with my friends. They walked ahead of me.
“You’ve been hanging out with ML often. Are you two a thing?”
“No, we’re not dating at all. We’ve become friends.”
“How did you two become friends?”
“Because of math. I helped him solve some math problems.”
“He seems to be the type of college student who eats math for breakfast, yet he’s not. What a letdown,” she chortled.
“He seems kind, though,” her second female friend intervened. “I saw him feeding a stray cat many times before coming to school. I even gave him some of my snacks so he could feed the cats if I couldn’t.”
“You’re talking to him?” – 1st female friend.
She nodded. “Of course, he’s our classmate in three subjects. I talk to all my classmates.”
“Is that so? Maybe I can donate cat food that my cats refused to eat.”
“Yeah, yeah! The more strays to feed, the furrier!”
“Alright. That would be a great time to talk with him and examine what kind of man he is. You know, Shamikha, just in case you two are hiding your relationship from us.”
“Ah! Speaking of math. Are you done with your math homework?” she asked Shamikha.
“Yes, why?”
“Can I copy your work, huhu,” she pouted
“Cheating is a no-no anymore. Starting from now, I am offering a tutoring service,” grinned.
“What? How much would that be?”
“For my two friends, 100% off.”
“Yay! Free tutor.”
“Nah, I don’t need to know the method to the math solution. I need your homework answers, Shamikha,” she teased Shamikha.
I coughed, entering the classroom to interrupt them.
“He’s here,” her second female friend whispered.
“Shamikha?” I called her.
“Yes?”
“Is it true you have a math tutorial service?”
Her two friends flinched.
“Ah, yes. So, you’ve heard of it,” she smiled. “I want to help my classmates like my two friends over here, that’s why I will be doing it.”
“Count me in.”
“Huh?” her two friends reacted in unison.
“Plus, my two friends. Message me about the details.”
“Okay, got it.”
I left them.
“Now you’ll be hanging out with him more frequently.” – second friend
“I will be teaching them three,” Shamikha mumbled in a defensive tone.
I smirked.
I couldn't get past her two friends yet. However, this is a good stepping stone.
***
“Hi, Ravael.”
“H-Hello…”
“Where are you heading?”
“To my work.”
“This early?”
“I had to take an extra shift. A co-worker has been sick, and it would be a waste to let go of the extra pay. Are you going home?”
“We will go to the K-Mall to hangout. Would you like to walk with us? Where do you work?”
“My work is on the opposite side, going to K-Mall.”
“Is that so?” she mumbled. “Maybe next time?”
“Maybe”
“Why do you work so hard?”
“To raise myself. I need to make ends meet to live independently.”
“Sorry to pry on your life, but how about your parents?”
“They’re far away from me. And it wasn’t so bad as you think. I enjoy living on my own. It’s just that there are times that it gets hard, like paying for my tuition.”
“Have you considered a public school? There’s one near our school. They are famous for a high quality of education and offer your program, too.”
“I didn’t like that school.”
“Oh, I see.”
“There’s no purpose in going to other schools aside from this.”
“You love this school that much?”
“…You can say that. Besides, graduation is one step away. One more stretch to get through college.”
“You’re right. I admire your grit and positivity.”
When did I become positive? Did I sound like one?
“Ayyieee! You two are always together, huh?”
“Stop it, Lyca. It’s not what you think. We’re friends, remember what I told you?” Shamikha clarified the misunderstanding.
“Sus. Fool a random drunk, but you can’t fool me even if I’m drunk.” Her friend scoffed and glared at me like I was committing a crime. “If you’re hitting on Shamikha, I won’t stop you, but you better be a good and capable man.” She took three steps forward and paused, looking at me. “And, oh, Shamikha has a lot of suitors. So you'd better kick it up a notch. This is not to discourage you, but this is your chance to prove yourself, you’re worthy of her. Right, Shamikha?” she walked towards Shamikha and pinched her cheeks.
“Lyca, you don’t have to say that to him.”
“I’m doing this for you. We don’t want our saint to be tainted.”
“Who are you calling a saint?”
“The timidest, kindest, most honest, and most innocent person I’ve ever met. We’re opposites, yet you befriended a bad girl like me.”
“You don’t have to exaggerate.”
“Anyway,” she grabbed her wrist. “I’ll grab the opportunity of spending more time with you before you get a boyfriend. Let’s eat out!”
“Hey…”
“Hurry up,” Another friend of theirs called them.
“Bye,” Shamikha glanced at me.
I waved my hand and smiled. They all walked outside the school. I walked out of the school with my friends. They were walking together, and I was walking beside them, doing that thing I always do where I'm physically present but mentally somewhere else. They were busy talking loudly and happily about online games, food, and their crushes. The usual stuff that's supposed to be fun. I remained uninterested in their topic when I couldn’t get my mind off what Lyca said… After the alleged claim that I’m making a move on Shamikha. I have to confirm something for clarification.
Upon arriving at my house, I went to my room quickly and typed something on my computer.
What does a good and capable man mean?
The web showed the results and their interpretation.
Those phrases mean someone who combines high competence, skill, and reliability ("capable") with strong moral character, integrity, and kindness ("good").
From that day on, I kept wondering if I was a good and capable man.