Diplomacy is a Boring War with better food. — Nuk Proverb
Diplomacy is always preferred to War. — Trkik Proverb
Tshlp tslp tshlp tshlp tshlp — Dog, Drinking
— Scribbles next to Memorial Plaques commemorating the founding of the Aligned Systems.
"So, Ambassador. About the fleet you have with you."
Mekari stared at the Admiral.
This female truly is no diplomat. A refreshing experience.
"Admiral, I assure you, there are no invasion troops aboard any of my ships, except a few guards needed to ensure order and protection."
Sanders looked Mekari straight in the eyes.
"I know."
This startled Mekari slightly; he was prepared to grant Human troops access to search the ships. A first friendly gesture to strengthen relations and show he could be trusted.
"You know? Might I ask, how?"
"You're no idiot, that's how. You know we beat the Batract three times, so you must know that my ship alone could wipe out your transporter fleet."
A lesser diplomat would have mistaken the Admiral's bluntness for hostility; Mekari was no lesser diplomat. The Admiral was simply stating things as they were.
"So, I assume there are two possible reasons why you would drag — how many of your people through space, around seventy thousand?"
Mekari checked his surroundings, making sure no one was listening.
Riig was still arguing with the bathing girls. It seemed they had decided that if the Humans couldn't be bathed, he had to bathe with them.
The dancers were already drunk and sleeping in a pile, much to the relief of the Human guards, who could now look more openly through the crowd.
The Shraphen were still observing every movement stoically.
"Seventy-five thousand."
"Close enough. So, either you're a bombastic idiot who needs staff to be clothed and bathed, and everything else — and I don't think you are — or…"
Mekari had to cut her off. Even though he trusted every Psstips aboard, he wasn't ready to tell them the truth just yet.
"My dear Admiral, this here is a place of festivity, a hall where many people enjoy the many ways we Psstips celebrate. A place where many people hear many things. Things they might misunderstand. Boring diplomacy should be discussed in boring offices, shouldn't it?"
The Admiral smiled. "Maybe it should."
"Riig, I will retreat with the Admiral for further conversations. You can play with the bathing girls. I don't need you anymore tonight."
"But, but, but, Ambassador!" Whatever the poor assistant wanted to say was drowned in a flurry of bathing-girl laughter.
Mekari turned, laughing. He knew very well the 'torments' the poor assistant would soon endure. Then he saw a Human and a Shraphen soldier standing beside the Admiral, ready to leave the festivities.
"Please, Ambassador, after you."
He had, again, not heard any commands.
"Your assistant, Mr. Mitchel, won't accompany us?"
"No, not at the moment. He would much prefer to see more of the ship, if that's possible."
The Admiral's almost flirtatious voice didn't hide the fact that her "assistant" wanted to spy a bit.
Why not? I would do the same. And I need them to trust me…
"Of course, Admiral. I will send my Chief of Security to show him this beautiful ship in all its detail. Now, let us continue our discussions elsewhere."
Mekari pointed towards the door that led to the adjacent private rooms, usually reserved less for conversation than for privacy.
They entered the room while the Admiral's guards stood outside.
Mekari noticed that the Admiral must trust him enough to be alone in a room with him.
"Ambassador, I have to say, this is by far the oddest conference room I've ever been in. Either that, or Psstips conferences are different in a way I'm not comfortable with yet."
The Admiral pointed towards the large cushion mound on a mattress in the center of the room.
"Ahh, yes, please excuse the surroundings. There is no other room on this deck quite as secure as this one. We could wait for servants to bring chairs and desks."
The Admiral dropped onto the mattress, sitting with her legs crossed, pointing to the spot in front of her.
"Screw it. Sit down and let's talk. I just have to think about how to frame this in my report."
Mekari had to smile at the scene. Here he was with the leader of a massive Alien fleet in a private room, and this leader had just jumped on the mattress like a little kitten.
He had to confess, he liked the Human.
This was the bluntness the Ambassador had seen the entire time from the Admiral. Reading through the reports of Human battles the Republican spies had provided, he would have never expected that their fleets were led by such… uncomplicated people.
Either this Admiral was a special case, or Humans were extraordinary.
He sat down, trying to mirror the Human's gesture, but he was not in a fit enough state to sit on his crossed legs.
"Very well, let us talk about the fleet—"
"Ambassador, cut the crap. It's a colonial fleet. My question is simply: are you running or advancing?" The friendliness in the Admiral's face dropped for a second, then returned.
She is sharp and dangerous, like the Empress.
"Running? Advancing?"
"Are you running from your home because you think we can't beat the Hyphae, or are you trying to build a colony in our space to grab a planet?"
The Admiral was clearly done with cryptic diplomatic speech.
"If it's the first, fine, I get it. The Aligned Planets get it, and the Shraphen had to evacuate their whole home planet, so they won't blame you. If it's the latter, don't try it."
He had expected at least some kind of resistance, but if he understood the Admiral correctly, the Humans were fine with him creating a colony somewhere, as long as they didn't claim the whole planet.
Martial people with compassion?
"Admiral, you were open to me. Let me return the favor." He took a deep breath. Just now realizing — if the Admiral saw things the same way as he did, the Humans might decide not to help the Republic.
Was he willing to take this risk? But how could he turn around now?
"Yes, you are correct. I evacuated half of my House into this fleet — the better half, I might add. The simple truth is, I fear the Republic is dying."
There. For the first time, he had said it aloud.
The Admiral's face was a mask. Mekari couldn't read any emotions off of it.
"Explain."
A surprising choice. Was she gathering intelligence, or simply curious? Or maybe even willing to help?
"I will not bore you with details, but the Republic is old and has lost its drive. Corruption is rampant in the capital, and the other nobles are embroiled in constant infighting."
"But you're different?"
The words had a sharp, hidden edge.
"My dear Admiral, have you ever met someone who could truly say he is sane? How would I know if I am different when I am one of them? I certainly hope my House has preserved some of the values our ancestors chose for the Republic, but until the ghosts of the past shine their wisdom on me, we will never know."
"So?"
The Admiral had obviously chosen not to give Mekari anything to work with.
"My House has never participated in the nonsensical power plays the other Houses invented to fill their idle time with. After my ancestor and founder of the House united Nekoo and founded the Republic, we never again took the throne."
Sanders' stare was something Mekari had not experienced since his education years, when he was a cub.
"And now, do you intend to use us to overthrow the Government?"
Did he? Could he? Would he, if he could?
"No. No, then I wouldn't be any better than the current fools. Just smarter and better armed. And I am both already, I might add."
"So, how do you think we should proceed? Should I throw my fleets into battles on your side, only to see your civilization fall apart a week later? My people have already rescued two species. We're not the Galactic Red Cross."
Red Cross? What did the Human speak about?
"So you will not help my people. Are you willing to let forty billion lives vanish?"
Mekari almost lost hope in this moment. Had he done it? Had he scared the Humans away? The other races around Psstips space didn't care about the Republic. Too much bad smell between them.
"And turn around after we traveled this far?" Sanders laughed. "No, really. Do you think we would watch while billions die? My crew would revolt if I ordered this. We're in this fight, for better or worse."
The Human's almost joyful tone made Mekari pause.
Did she enjoy going to battle?
Going through the dialogue again, he decided the joy wasn't that they went to war, but the fact that he, Mekari, had just passed a test.
A test that may have decided the fate of his species. And, without question, his personal fate.
"So, you are indeed helping my people? Yes?"
"Yes, but how should we handle your Government? If they are as corrupt as you say—"
"They certainly are, but I have prepared for this case, my dear Admiral. See, the Republic's Navy is made up of the Fleets provided by the great Houses. Now, many simply do not see the Fleets of my House as a threat, but they make up half of the Republic's Navy by now."
Mekari grinned.
"Your greatest problem in your upcoming battles will be the simple fact that our forces are so impressed with their own tails."
Mekari made a grandiose gesture. "They are the great Republican Navy, after all. But they forget that they are nothing but idiots placed on the captain's couch by family name alone."
The Ambassador looked Sanders in the eye. Desperation turned to triumph as he got the idea.
"They will ignore your proficiency and experience. But if my fleets follow you and your orders, the others will have no choice but to either follow or die."
Mekari had to fight the urge to purr in satisfaction. His plan was genius.
And the best part — he had made it up right as he spoke.
Sanders stood up with one flowing motion.
"That sounds like a plan. Let's discuss things further tomorrow. I'll send one of my technicians to install one of our p-p radios, so we can stay in contact, and you can already communicate with our diplomatic corps."
That's it? That was the whole meeting.
"You don't want any more information?"
"Oh sure we do, but we'll have months to go, so you or your people can bring us up to speed. And you can fight out the rest with our diplomats. I'm a soldier. I know what to do."
"And you leave one of your magnificent p-p radios here, so I can reach you, and your diplomats?"
Sanders shrugged.
"Sure, you'll have full network access. You can call anyone, basically. Your Psstips network is shit. No offense, Ambassador."
Mekari was surprised by the Human's reactions. An ongoing theme for this negotiation.
"Aren't you afraid that we'll steal your technology? We only just met. No?"
The Admiral laughed dryly.
"The moment someone opens the casing, a pretty nasty explosive will destroy this ship."
Mekari's eyes opened wide.
"Relax, Ambassador. I made a joke. I wouldn't risk you blowing up. I like you."
—————
The next day, Human technicians came as promised with a communication terminal. According to Mekari's wishes, it was installed inside his office wall. The Ambassador enjoyed working while standing.
Mekari enjoyed watching the technicians' proficiency and joined them when they had finished their work.
"Ahh, very nice indeed. Now tell me, how do I operate it?"
The technician looked to his superior, who just nodded.
"Erm, just press here and the system will be pretty self-explanatory, Ambassador."
The Ambassador almost couldn't wait for the Human technicians to pack up their things and leave.
He pressed the button. Nothing happened. From behind him, a Human-sounding voice appeared.
'Hello, Ambassador Mekari.'
Drawing his hidden particle gun, Ambassador Mekari turned on the spot.
On his couch lay the hologram of a female Human. The extensive chest left no room for misinterpretation.
"Who are you?"
The female hologram stood up in a flowing, almost hypnotic motion.
'I am the interactive operating system of your p-p terminal. My name is Lilith.'