The House Mekari is one of the oldest and wealthiest still-existing Noble Houses of the Great Nekoorian Republic. While it lost some of its power with the Batract integration, like many other older Houses, it is still considered to be one of the most influential.
It is the only House whose status does not need to be renewed when a new Emperor takes the throne — a tradition that has endured since the Republic's founding.
For more than two millennia, it has been tradition for an elected new candidate to travel to the seat of House Mekari and have his status as Emperor-elect confirmed by the Head of the House.
Followed by the ritual Bribe Ceremony, the coronation can continue.
The heads of House Mekari will traditionally not stand as candidates for election to Emperor, since prophecies foretold that only in times of mortal danger to the Republic will a Mekari survive longer than a day on the throne.
— Excerpt from The Noble Houses of the Great Nekoorian Republic, 3,012th edition, 2 B.I.
Minister Mekari enjoyed the afternoon. The finances of his house were good. Especially the profits gained from increased military spending created a considerable part of the income.
War was always good for business. The only annoying part was that the enemy now seemed to be an especially hard bird to catch.
Well, it was not the only annoying thing.
Through the ornamental doors of his lavishly decorated office, as demanded for a Psstips of his stature, he could hear the sound of his newest assistant, Riig. A Psstips of unbecomingly short and plump stature. And a voice that could curl one's whiskers.
"Minister Mekari, Minister Mekari!" The assistant almost rolled into the office, his face red under the thin face-fur and out of breath. Mekari saw a dataslate in his hand, but he couldn't take it because the young assistant flailed his arms in wide arcs, preventing the Minister from grabbing it.
"Minister, an important message!"
With the fourth attempt, Larkon Mekari was finally able to grab the dataslate out of his assistant's hand.
"What is it, Riig? Do you need to wake my ancestors down in the catacombs with your screaming?"
Annoyed with his assistant, Mekari opened the message with his personal code. Regrettably, he couldn't focus on the text since Riig was holding himself upright on Mekari's shoulder and was close to hyperventilating.
"By the great Maker, Riig, take a seat. You look like a creature that has recently discovered gravity and is deeply offended by it. I told you, less fish steak and more wine, yes?" Mekari offered the assistant a glass.
"Drink. If you collapse, I will be forced to replace you, and I have only just grown accustomed to your particular brand of incompetence."
Mekari allowed himself a small, satisfied pause.
"Wine does not make you fat, and if you are, you will not care. You do not see me running through the palace out of breath, now do you?"
Riig looked up, taking the glass thankfully. "No, Minister, only when one of your wives is visiting."
"Of course I run then — how else would I hide from them? So, what is so important now, hmm?" Mekari was about to read the message when Riig grabbed the dataslate and began to read aloud.
"It is from our spies in the Imperial Republican Palace, Minister. They report that the Empress's spy has made contact and the humans have decided to send assistance."
Mekari grabbed the dataslate. "Give me that!"
While he began to read, he glanced at Riig. "And Riig, remember one thing. Criminals and the lower classes use spies. House Mekari has informants ."
He paused, letting the lesson settle.
"So, the Empress has sent a spy to these humans, hmm?"
"Yes, Minister, her informant —"
Mekari interrupted Riig, holding his hand up in a domineering gesture. "Her spy , yes?"
Riig paused. Mekari could see the assistant repeating the logic chain again.
"Riig, stop thinking too much, will you. It is a fascinating thing, watching you try it. I can almost see single neurons firing into the empty darkness of your head. But focus now. What do we know about the spy and the humans?"
Snapping air as he understood the insult, Riig started again while Mekari walked around his desk.
"The spy is a female named Mikkra. She—"
Mekari bellowed out a loud laugh.
"Mikkra? Of House Folluk? Her father almost died of shame when she joined the service. The loss to the Republic would have been small, though. But the females of House Folluk — very good genes, especially in tight dresses and short skirts."
When his assistant shook his head, trying to lose the mental image, Mekari snapped, "Come on, Riig, stop fooling around and continue. We do not have the whole day, now do we?"
"Yes, Minister — I mean, no, Minister — ugh." Riig focused again on his report. "Mikkra had joined a smuggler crew destined for Burrow. There she met the humans. An ape-like species that had freed the world from the Batract and has won considerable battles."
"Ape-like, you say? Like the slaves the Batract have sold all through the galaxy these last decades?"
"Yes, Minister."
"And am I correct in the assumption that the other esteemed houses employ thousands of those slaves?"
It was a delight for Mekari to see Riig's face when the young assistant began to comprehend the magnitude of the issue before them.
"Yes, Minister."
"I do think a call to the Imperial Republican Minister of Labor is in order. It is still early in the morning in the capital city, so we might get him while he is still sober, yes?"
"Yes, Minister."
Watching his assistant hurry over to the wall display, Mekari mused. Freeing a whole home system from Batract hands, before they retreated nonetheless. Impressive. Stupid, yes. Reckless, yes. But still impressive.
"Minister, the Minister!"
Mekari needed a second to decipher Riig's cryptic words. Then he saw the overweight and untamed face of Minister Greebo, complete with the ugly scar across one eye.
"Minister Greebo, such a pleasure to see you well, and horizontal nonetheless. And your battle scar — impressive as always."
The Minister of Labor impulsively touched the scar, and Mekari was sure he saw a little wince in the Minister's controlled movements.
"Spare me the theater, Mekari. Why do you call me at such an hour?"
So I woke the drunk. Even better.
"Minister, my esteemed assistant and I just talked about the latest rumors. A fleet of human battleships on the way to see our glorious victory over the invading enemy forces and perhaps support us where they might be of limited help?"
The Minister opened his eyes a bit wider, obviously surprised Mekari already knew about the latest developments in the capital.
"Yes, for someone half a planet away, you are well informed."
"Ah, my dear Minister Greebo, what else do I have to fill my idle hours with?" Mekari let the question hang. "See, when Riig described the humans to me — ape-likes, the universe is such a colorful place — I could not help but be reminded of the many slaves you and the other great houses…" Mekari paused for a second. "…employ."
A whirlwind of emotions raced over the face of the Minister on the screen. Mekari knew even a drunk Greebo would see the problem instantly. The man had to be smart at some point in his life — otherwise he would not be alive today.
"This observation is indeed something I need to discuss with the Emperor quickly." Greebo made a movement that indicated he wanted to cut the line, but Mekari was quicker.
"Minister, would it not be better to present the Emperor with solutions instead of questions?"
Greebo paused mid-movement, thinking over Mekari's words.
"What do you suggest?"
As any other bureaucrat in the Imperial Republic, Greebo was easier to predict than the sunrise.
"We need to get rid of them. Quickly, of course, and silently."
Next to him, Riig inhaled loudly, his nose losing all color. Minister Greebo smiled at the seemingly elegant solution.
"Of course I do not talk of murdering them. Only cruel monsters would think such things. No. I was thinking — it has been a long time since House Mekari made a present to the Emperor. Maybe we could buy all…" Mekari paused again. "…employed humans, and send them home? As a sign to the humans that we respect them, and have nothing to hide, yes?"
Greebo thought about the suggestion.
Come on, Greebo. Think and scheme, you slow moron.
Then the Minister on the screen barely hid a smile and answered.
"Wonderful idea, Mekari. I will inform the Emperor in an instant."
Before Mekari could say another word, the Minister terminated the connection.
Mekari turned around.
"Riig, that man is an idiot. You know where he got his battle scar?"
Riig, still with a white nose, just shook his head.
"He got it when he keeled over drunk in a striptease club. I know, because I was there. These are the people leading our Republic."
Mekari shook his head in disappointment.
"Now, go. Compile letters to the great houses. On Imperial order, House Mekari is ordered to buy all human slaves."
"Minister, this will be expensive!"
"But it will be equally profitable. Just not in terms of money, Riig."
The confused look on his assistant's face showed Mekari he needed guidance in seeing the bigger picture.
"Stop thinking so hard, Riig. Your face looks like a constipated Nuk." Mekari went back to the desk and poured himself a glass of lunpa tree wine.
"Soon, Greebo will run to the Emperor, explaining his grandiose plan in which he tricked me into buying all the slaves and gifting them to the humans."
“The Emperor will think this was Greebo’s idea,” Riig said, hesitant.
“Good, Riig. You are learning.”
He sipped on the wine, his not-so-secret pleasure.
"Then the esteemed Emperor will see that House Mekari just bought large parts of the workforce, while losing none itself."
Riig slowly began to understand.
"And then the Emperor will decide it is best to get rid of me, and that he needs an ambassador to the humans."
Now Riig was shocked.
"But Minister, if you are so far away—"
"What? I will lose power? Prestige?" Mekari set down his glass. "Riig, did you ever ask yourself why House Mekari is so far up in the northern continent, even though it built and rebuilt the capital city?"
"No, Minister. I thought—"
"It is the same reason why we do not employ slaves." He let the words settle. "And while all the noble houses scheme and bicker in the capital, surrounded by disloyal slaves that hate them…" He enjoyed another sip. "…we sit here in our estate, far away from the knives and poisons, surrounded by loyal workers who love us and who owe everything to us."
"You want to be sent away?" Riig's face showed his disbelief.
"Yes, of course. It will be an adventure. Now go, go, pack your things."
While Riig left the office, Mekari emptied his wine.
He stepped in front of his window, watching the village outside the hedges of his palace.
School had ended, and scores of children ran out onto the streets. Some on their way home. Some on their way to the park close by.
While he turned around, he murmured to himself.
"Just the essentials."
————
Riig nearly collapsed as he dropped the bags he had carried from the shuttle while Mekari inspected their ship. The Adira , their home for the three-month voyage.
The "packing" took three weeks, but Ambassador Mekari was content with this. Collecting all the humans was a time-intensive measure anyway.
His small ambassadorial convoy was fifty ships strong.
He had packed the bare essentials an ambassador would need. And a few additional items.
Such as dancers, concubines, service staff, and a small ambassadorial staff of barely 700 Psstips.
Naturally, it would have been a cruelty to leave the families of his entourage on Nekoo, so accommodations for those had to be made too.
But for such a large number of Psstips, additional personnel were needed. Like doctors, nurses, technicians, and teachers.
When the poor and exhausted Riig was finished writing and hiring the needed personnel, the list had grown to 75,000 Psstips.
The bare essentials.
Riig stood next to the Ambassador on the observation deck as the ships accelerated away from Nekoo.
"Ambassador, this barely feels like a small ambassadorial mission. Rather more like a beginning colony. You have packed half of House Mekari onboard these ships."
"The better half, yes. And yes, it does feel like a colony. But why would any Psstips try to scratch the ships together for a colony, in times of war, nonetheless, Riig? Everyone knows the Emperor would never allow an endeavor like this. And then to fly so far away — only someone who does not trust the Republic to win the war would risk such madness, no?"
Riig's sounds of stress were answer enough.
"And the most pleasant thing is, at the end of this journey, my wives will be twenty-seven light-years away. Smile, Riig. This will be fun."