“Bah! My first pup never cried! She came out of my womb ready for battle~!”
“Man... Idonea...don’t you ever cry for anything? Thyra killed herself and all you did was ask if skulls were a viable weapon.”
“A devil will so much as swoon men and bed them, yet never shed a tear when death knocks on thy door. My Idonea...ye resemble a devil and I thy fool for noticing too late.”
“You gave it all up, your pack, your name and your rights... Humor your mother for the last time. Have tears ever left those eyes of yours when you finally decided that this cowardly path is the one you must take?”
No...No..NO! These alien tears kept flowing, like a cracked dam under pressure. She tried to wipe one after another away, cussing at each one. Cursing each droplet from ever existing! Tears are for the weak and feeble. Tears are to be laughed at and nobody deserves to see them. Idonea thought about these things, but her body disobeyed her. Never has she felt so full of tears that the only release is this thing called crying.
Frustrated, she slid her back down till she sat down and covered her face in her hands. Her gloves started to dampen, and she grew even more frustrated. “Damn these tears!?”
But the safety of this corner, and the overwhelming feelings that she felt were a recipe for more crying. At some point it wasn’t just tears that were spent, her nose filling with fluid from all the crying. “Oh GODS! S-smite me now, Odin...”
If her face wasn’t so scary before, people would for sure believe that she was possessed. She certainly felt so with her body denying her commands. There is only one other thing she can do. Toddlers are good at it. She pulled her knees to her chest and buried her wet face in the union of her knees. This is the only way she could save the public from seeing her tearful grotesque face, and she thought she had enough time to recover.
A fool she was. Footsteps advanced in on her to her left, and she couldn’t smell through the snot in her nose. However, she used her first weak threat just in case, building a feeble aegis with just words alone. “Keep your distance...I will bite.”
That paused their steps, but only for a second. They proceeded closer, not a single word. Angered, she got on her feet and shot this person with a watery death glare. Hands raised as if about to fight, her watery vision filled with the beautiful presence of the one responsible for those tears. His expression changed from neutral to concern, he must have finally realized why she was so huddled up on the ground. The determination to close the gap surfaced in the pools of his purple eyes, and suddenly no threat worked on him.
“YOU! D-don’t misunderstand! I’m very angry!” She snarled at him when he shortened their gap, sniffling soon after, which lost more of her edge. She started to falter, dropping her hands and now backing away as an attempt to keep this distance. Like a coward... “Give me space, damn it.”
He smiled at her, nothing she said worked, and pulled her into an embrace. An embrace that she fought weakly but it felt too nice to let go. Too nice to keep up with this childish pride, she sunk into his arms and sobbed. He was kind enough not to say a word, just being the anchor that she needed to center herself.
This really worked, and a minute must have passed, and enough tears dampened his coat shoulder. Her sobbing slowed just enough so there was only sniffling, and her mind buzzed from it. All her muscles loosened, she had to use her energy to hold onto him close and yet he did all the work to keep her close.
“My elskan...I’m sorry...” He moved his head enough to whisper this next to her ear. “I know those tears are my doing...tell me...what must a foolish radio host do to make you smile again? I... deserve any punishment that you name here and now.”
Punishment? She sniffled, cleaning her face with the back of her gloved hand. Once feeling presentable enough, she pulled back and investigate his expression, she saw it. The face of a distraught Leas, strangely more empathic than anyone she had ever met, she had labelled the expression on him as one with his heart being wrung in two. Leas feels worse at causing the tears than her.
She nearly touched his face with the gloves wet from her snot and tears. Instead, she settled down with just leaning her face against his chest. “Heh, will you give up your arm then?”
He was silenced by the statement, not catching on to her sudden sarcasm. It was out of nowhere considering that this is her first time crying. Her emotions are all over the place. When he does, she can feel his hand pet her hair, making the hair clip shake. “I ask how much of it and when would you like it delivered?”
“Heh, I swear...you’re impossible to hate...” She mumbled beneath his clothes, happy where she is right now even though she must look pathetic. Such feelings are juvenile, and she is too old to be this vulnerable and yet it is like she is living a whole life all over again. As of late, everything with him feels like the first time.
“Glad to hear it...does that mean I get to keep my arm?” She punched him on his chest, which caused him to laugh between winces. “I deserve that...”
“You’re still on my shit list.” She corrected his assumption, glaring up at him, but she wasn’t angry enough to leave this embrace. “What’s going on, Leas?”
She must look silly trying to demand answers with a face still red from tears, nose running and swollen eyelids. It didn’t matter, Leas respected her entirely. His smile faded, replaced by the sadness that she recognized from him once before at the concert.
The one filled with a plethora of secrets and shame. What had he been hiding from her all this time?
“It seems that I keep ruining dates, eh?” That comment that left his lips, made her hurt in her mind and heart, the first time both of her sides agreed.
“That’s not true!” She yelped this and the confused look on his face made her suck back air. Oh shit!
“No... you don’t have to try to make me feel better. I know I have been wrong.” I am trying nothing of the sort! He sighed, casting his gaze toward the ocean. It being so dark on a moonless night, nothing made the water sparkle except for the light of this ship. The same shine that made his purple eyes glitter. “Nea-no-Idonea...I have been hiding something from you. Something very important...something that might make you reconsider our relationship, and I wouldn’t blame you.”
“Why would you say that Leas?” A cold shiver ran up her spine at how serious he was getting. What is this secret that he is so afraid to share?
Leas released her from the embrace to give her space to think, turning back his gaze on her with jaws clenched. “Idonea...I’m-”
“THE KIDS FELL IN THE WATER! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!?”
The faces of those kids she saw trying to sneak away with desserts in their arms filled her vision, and the adrenaline pumped through her just like she was about to go into battle. She didn’t even take a second to process the kind of situation that she would put herself in, turning on her heels and running towards the back deck. She left Leas on his own. He couldn’t stop her even if he tried.
On her way to the back deck, she made sure to grab a Jim Buoy hanging on the wall and slinged it on. She ran past the panicked parent, scanning the horizon for little heads.
Thankfully, she can see in the dark. Idonea can see their little red heads amongst the dark sea. She backed up enough to get a running start, kicking off her heels, to hurdle over the railing and dove face first into the murky dark water.
It never ran past her mind the time of year that it was or how immensely cold it was going to be. Instantly, every part of her felt the shock of the cold and tensed right up. Her legs and arms fought through the cold to have her head breach the surface and her teeth chattered violently when the wind touched her drenched scalp. The impact of the water washed away the hair pin, it plummeted the depths of the sea forever. She was too cold to react. Only a small murmur in her head pointed out the loss of a very special wolf hair pin.
Her arm hugged the buoy which assisted her from sinking to far but regretting exposing her back to the air. The chill sent a tremor through all of herself, every one of her tense muscles shook.
FUCK ITS COLD! The screams from both the parents and the strangled attempt of the kids trying to stay afloat woke her out of the stupor. Comfort be damned! Safety be damned! Hair pin be damned! Secrets be damned!
Her wolf's side was tapped in for this, and she allowed a change where her feet became large paws and her fingers grew hairy and long, ripping the expensive gloves apart. With the addition of having fur grown up to her torso, her limbs and neck sprouted equally thick fur. At least if she donned some fur and paws, Idonea can swim through this with a bit more ease.
She just hoped that she was too far away for anyone to notice her added features. Her size stayed the same, and she pushed through the pain of the cold and swam towards the drowning kids. With the ship not stopping when the kids first fell, it must have been a good 50 nautical feet to get to them.
They could barely keep their heads afloat, and the girl started to sink even further.
“Stay here!” She grabbed the boy with her clawed hand and forced him on the Jim buoy. Then she dived to get his sister, who sank fast and lost consciousness along the way. She swam faster than the little child sank, hugging the frail girl with one hand and fighting both strained and exhausted muscles to swim back up. She breached the surface in no time and backpedaled to the Jim Buoy, keeping the unconscious girl’s face from the water this way. When she got to the boy clinging onto the Jim Buoy with his dear life, did she started commanding. “Never let go of the float! You got it?!”
“Uh huh!?” The boy's teeth chattered, and she moved to hold onto the float rope with her clawed hand. That’s when he noticed the change in her and yelped, “W-what are you!? A-A-A m-m-mon-”
“I-I’m going to be a monster if you fail to do what I ask! So SHUT UP!” The boy slapped his shaking mouth shut, eventually realizing that she was trying to save them. If she wanted them dead, she wouldn’t be there. Thank the gods this kid isn’t thick.
Her eyes looked for the ship to see it now even further away than the last time she dove in. The captain must not have stopped the sailing in time. The distance might be enough to kill them all, the panic set in her.
“M-Monster lady...a-are we going to be okay?” Sniffled the nine-year-old, face starting to look pale and blueish. The cold was affecting his small body.
She peered down at him, then at the unconscious little girl in her arms. Both little beings with so much life ahead of them. Even as fleeting as their lives are compared to hers, they haven't even gotten a chance to experience it. She had enough of her life experience that can equal twenty lifetimes with nothing to show for it, they deserve to experience theirs. She can’t fail them, and she won’t without fighting all the way.
She places the girl in the circle of the float, being small enough to rest without slipping off, motioning him to hold on to his sister and the float. He did so, then she bumped him on the shoulder with her furry elbow in a playful manner. Her black lip shook but she managed a large smile. “You will both survive and with all the sweets you ever wanted! Now...hold on. And kick with me”
He nodded, and that was enough to motivate this old wolf’s heart to push on. He started kicking the water, but it didn’t really move the float till she started kicking with her wolf feet. She didn’t need that kind of assistance; she only asked him to kick so that he kept his body in motion in this dreaded cold.
They tried to swim towards the light, and it was painfully a slow process with no sign that they even got any closer. The boy started to complain about the cold hurting his limbs. And the girl started to look even just as blue as her cardigan with no sign of breathing.
This put more fear in her to keep pushing on.
Her ears caught the sound of motors of what must be lifeboats in the distance. She counted three of them, the closest one heading right towards them. And she could make out the outline in the distance.
The boy started screaming at the boat for her. She was too tired to help scream with him and her legs finally froze stiff. Instead of sinking with the kids, dooming them, she let go of the float, finding solace that they would at least be saved, and she gave this whole thing a good fight.
She at least hopes the Valkyries of Valhalla will be kinder than her own mother.