The hand on my knee tightened and I put my hand atop Michael’s, rubbing my thumb along the back of it. I heard a small gasp from Syla and she leaned around Michael to look at me. “You could’ve been lost. For good. And that means that even now, while the rest of us have reincarnation energy and still have that second chance…” She couldn’t bear to finish that sentence.
The horrified shock and pain in Michael’s expression was worse than a punch to the gut.
There was a knock on the door just then, and a receptionist came in with a tray with glasses and a pitcher of ice water with strawberries and mint leaves in it.
“Thank you, Bea,” Argir acknowledged. “We’ll call if there’s anything else.” He poured a glass for himself, then began to pour another glass, setting it in front of me. “How are you feeling about it all?” he asked me. “I’m sure your lack of reincarnation energy must be jarring.”
I had been about to refuse the water, not really needing any, but at his words, I was suddenly very thirsty and picked up the glass. Strawberries and mint had infused the water lightly, giving a fresh aftertaste. I could feel everyone’s eyes on me, but I kept my focus on Argir. “Knowing that this life is my last one while everyone else gets to reincarnate is hard, but there’s nothing to be done about it. As far as we could tell, the energy that Nikola took from me was destroyed when I killed him.”
“Matter can neither be created nor destroyed. It merely changes form. Your reincarnation energy has simply been repurposed at this point.”
The idea actually comforted me a little bit. My reincarnation energy hadn’t been just wasted, it was still being used for something, even if it wasn’t technically my energy anymore.
Argir took a drink and set his glass back down. “Nikola sounds like a man who took Davor’s lessons too much to heart. Once something becomes a myth, accountability gets blurry. The danger wasn’t decision – it was decision without seriousness. Authority without restraint is recklessness.”
Beside me, Michael caught my eye. He squeezed my knee again, a pained look in the back of his eyes as he gave me a reassuring smile. I could sense his unease, but he was shrugging it off, choosing not to escalate things here.
On his other side, Syla didn’t speak. She didn’t hardly move, just sitting ramrod straight with her eyes on the man in front of us. She pulled on the threads of her bracelet so tight that I started to worry she’d tug it right through her wrist. I’m getting mixed signals from everyone in the group. Nothing I can do at the moment but keep listening.
Antun agreed, “His recklessness hurt a lot of people by the end. We’re lucky that the news decided to skim over it and not make a big deal, but many people are still restless from it.”
“I imagine it’ll take a little while for memory to fade, but it will. It always does,” Argir stated.
Goosebumps ran down my arms, and I was grateful to be wearing a jacket to hide them. The AC in this place must be turned up or something.
A light flashed on the phone on Argir’s desk. He pushed the speaker button, “Yes, Bea?”
A woman’s voice came through the line, saying, “Your next appointment is here, sir.”
“Thank you, Bea. We’re just wrapping up,” Argir said before ending the call. “As you can see, today’s schedule is a little busy. If you have any questions about the facility, you can set up another appointment with my secretary, or,” he picked up a business card from the stack on his desk, “you can email me directly with any questions you have.”
He stood up, offering his hand to Michael then Syla. “It was a pleasure to meet you Mr. Anderson, Miss Tanner.” He offered his hand to me next with a smile, “Drew.” Turning, Argir offered his hand one more time. “Antun.”
Antun shook the offered hand, his own smile only slightly polite. “ Udhë të mbarë, ” he said.
Argir’s own smile ticked up a notch. “Good journey to you as well.”
❖ 🩸 ❖
The entire journey from Geneva to Paris, I thought back on our meeting with Argir. He’d paused when seeing Antun but only for the briefest moment. And there was no malice or any indication of leftover jealousy like Antun had been worried about. He was a man who knew control. There was history, but he was disciplined enough to not let it spill over into the day’s meeting.
We got off the train at Gare de Lyon and Antun helped us find a taxi to take us to Gare du Nord for our ride the rest of the way to London. We got in, and Antun leaned forward, saying something to the driver in French.
This man and his mastery of languages, Jesus, I thought yet again before thinking more on our meeting with Argir. Choosing normalcy, he had skipped over Antun completely and gone straight to Michael who’s name we had made the appointment under. Whatever the history had been between them, he’d decided not to react about it. It felt contained and almost respectful that he hadn’t jumped on any opportunities when he fully could have.
And his introduction to the rest of us. I was still surprised and confused by Syla’s burst of confidence in introducing herself before me, but my mind was still on Argir more than anyone else. He didn’t soften his tone when talking to Syla and he didn’t condescend to me. It told me that he assumed we could handle ourselves.
That earned my attention. As a short woman, people tended to have a hard time taking me seriously. Something about me looking cute when I’m angry, which only ever served to make me angrier. But he hadn’t done any of that, instead treating me with as much respect as everyone else. It felt good to be seen that way.
The taxi pulled over, but not at the station. He started saying something to Antun while pointing in different directions, then said, “ Oui? ”
“ Je comprends. ” Antun followed up with a question, I thought I heard the word double in there somewhere, and the taxi driver nodded back enthusiastically with an affirmative.
Antun smiled. “Everybody out. I got something cool to show you.” Curious, we all got out of the car and started following Antun. It was apparent that the taxi driver had given Antun directions of some kind, but where to I had no idea.
Syla spoke up, asking, “Antun, my French is a bit rusty, but did you tell the taxi driver something about paying him double for some reason?”
Antun grinned. “I just asked him to wait for us instead of driving off is all. It’s not every day you get to visit Paris, even if we’re just passing through.” We turned a corner and Michael, Syla, and I all gasped and Antun chuckled in a satisfied way.
“Wow.” I was stunned. Before me was the Eiffel Tower all lit up, reflected in the Seine. It was something I’d seen pictures of before, but it was nothing like seeing it in person. The sound of the water and the low murmur of voices in a foreign tongue made the feeling all the more magical.
I felt Michael’s hand slip around my waist. I looked up at him, his evergreen eyes shining in the amber light of the streetlamps. “Pretty,” he said.
“Yeah, it is,” I replied, looking back at the monument. “It’s so bright, and the Seine…” I trailed off as I continued gazing, enraptured by the magical scene.
“That’s not what I was talking about,” Michael’s voice quietly interrupted the serenity.
I looked back up at him, my brows scrunching in question. What else could he have possibly been talking about?
He chuckled and leaned in toward my ear. “ You’re pretty. And seeing your eyes light up like that made this little side quest worth it.” He kissed me softly and pulled back before I could blush any redder.
“Wait, was this your idea?” I asked.
“Hey now, don’t go taking credit for my thinking ahead about our stop here,” Antun feigned annoyance, or was that actually all fake?
“Thank you, Antun,” I said to make up for it before looking up at Michael. “And thank you, that was really sweet.”
Michael’s night-chilled fingers stroked my cheek before he kissed me once more. He took my hand as Antun reminded us that the taxi would only wait so long for double pay.
As we walked back to the taxi, my brain wandered to Argir’s odd swirly signature and I grinned. Every doctor, even a 500-year-old one it seemed, had awful handwriting and illegible signatures. I’d heard one person claim that the random swishes and loops were actually a type of shorthand, but I didn’t know whether or not I believed that. It was a lot easier to believe that Argir, like most doctors, had poor penmanship.
My thoughts jumping to when he had spoken about how he fed, I didn’t agree with everything. I didn’t like that he was using donated blood, but I couldn’t deny the care he’d taken to ensure secrecy. Secrecy isn’t about avoiding responsibility, he’d said, and that landed hard. I’d seen how secrecy could be used to excuse cruelty before, had experienced it firsthand at the hands of Nikola. That wasn’t how someone talked when they were hiding from themselves.
Our discussion on Nikola, looking back, I supposed had been a quiet test of Arigr. He’d condemned Nikola’s recklessness without doing the same thing to the vampire’s ambition. Argir hadn’t seemed impressed by the power that Nikola had taken, and that was a big point in his favor.
We got out at Gare du Nord, making sure we knew which platform our train would leave from before stopping in at one of the cafes in the building. Despite it being the middle of the night, we weren’t the only ones drinking coffee. Night workers and fellow travelers and insomniacs, all needing their caffeine fix before whatever they were doing next. We grabbed our coffees at the counter and picked a booth near the window so we could people-watch as we waited.
I stared out the window, but my brain wasn’t at this station. It was back in Geneva. Of the entire meeting, nothing had stuck in my head quite as much as our discussion about my death and reincarnation energy. He hadn’t pitied me or tried to sensationalize it; he’d simply treated it as any other fact. It was oddly comforting, having a stranger learn of my death and not focus on it. Not pity me or think me fascinating.
I took a sip of my coffee, watching people walk by but not really paying attention to them. When Argir had talked about matter, about how it cannot be created or destroyed, I’d been thinking specifically about my reincarnation energy. It hadn’t been a promise of anything, and the line landed reassuringly. Sure, he’d probably meant in the literal, scientific sense, but to me, it helped to reframe my loss without erasing it. He wasn’t trying to fix me, and that earned him something even closer to trust than anything else. Although, it did make me uncomfortable to think I might trust him to some degree already after only just meeting the man.
Syla tapped my hand, getting my attention. I looked up at her as she said, “It’s almost time to board. Let’s go.”
I followed the others as we walked to the platform. The train arrived, and we boarded, finding seats nearer to the back. Putting mine and Syla’s suitcase in the luggage compartment, I then moved over to the window seat. I wondered if we’d see the Eiffel Tower again, or what else we might be able to see before we got to the tunnel that went under the English Channel.
The train began moving, and Michael suggested that we try to get a little shut eye on the way to London. Everyone was tired and agreed, getting settled into our seats as comfortably as we could. I looked at Michael when he tapped me. He then tapped his own shoulder, a silent offer. I sighed and leaned against him, holding his hand on the seat between us.
Paris blurred past and before long we were in darkness, or would be if the train had no lights. Guess I try to get a little rest with these lights on. That shouldn’t have been a problem, except my mind was still turning that meeting over again and again, seeing if I was missing anything.
At the end of the meeting, Argir had implied that he was available but hadn’t forced his help on to us. He hadn’t asked for trust, but he hadn’t given us a reason not to. Nevertheless, I shivered as the goosebumps ran up my neck. I had a feeling that if the man ever decided something awful needed to be done, it wouldn’t be because he’d lost control.
