The air was rich with scent and pulse. Antun moved on ahead, calm and precise, demonstrating perfect form once more. We followed close behind, the night time sounds of the forest echoing around us. I was grateful for the long sleeves of my camouflage with the breeze picking up. A shiver ran down my back anyway, goosebumps covering my arms.
Silvery moonlight filtered through the branches of the trees, patchy on the forest floor below. Motes hung in the moonbeams, dancing as we walked past. We crept low, crouching as we moved to keep as low a profile as possible.
Both Michael and Syla seemed steadier after having fed. The mana in their systems must have given them some extra energy, as it seemed to have become even easier for them to move stealthily. The corner of Michael’s mouth was turned up in a grin; it was obvious that he not only felt amazing but was having a blast. Syla glided with more grace than leopard, her silence so perfect I almost couldn’t hear her with my advanced hearing.
Antun held up a hand for us to stop and motioned me closer. “I want you to watch and listen as I do this next one. Balance with your breath. Match your pace to the heartbeat you follow.”
I nodded, and he crept a little way forward away from our group. His preternatural stillness was more stationary than the woods around him, making him seem like a rock, completely invisible to those not looking. Like the deer that strode into the clearing only minutes later. Its tail flicked while ears swiveled like satellite dishes on its head. It seemed completely unconcerned as it dipped its head, nibbling at the vegetation near the ground.
Antun’s muscles tensed, coiling spring-tight as his breathing matched the rhythm of the heartbeat. Thump. Breathe in. Thump-thump. Breathe out. Tree frogs and crickets covered any noise any of us might have made. An owl hooted, and like it was a gun at the start of a race, Antun bolted.
He was a blur as he tackled the beast before it could even look up. Debris flew into the air as the animal kicked its legs and tried to regain its footing. It snorted and grunted, bleating in terror. Fangs found their mark swiftly, and the creature’s thrashing began to lessen after an intense few moments. I listened to its heartbeat slow from a rapid pace to a calmer, sleepier one.
Antun stood, checking the animal’s pulse out of habit, and returned with a bright smile. “Much better. Now what did you notice, Drew?”
Right to the lesson then, huh? “You waited until your breaths matched the heartbeat, and as soon as you were ready you didn’t hesitate to go. It was like you settled into the heartbeat completely before leaping.”
“You’ve got it. Let the heartbeat become everything, let it guide you. You’ll eventually be able to tell if your prey is about to bolt or if they are as relaxed as could be.” Antun leveled his eyes. “Letting instinct guide you is not a bad thing. Not everything has to have a rigid way of doing things. Think back to everyone’s hunts. Did we all do exactly the same thing or did we do things differently?”
I let my mind go back to Syla’s hunt, how lethal she had looked before even reaching the spot she wanted to wait from. To Michael’s hunt, how explosive his lunge had been, how he wrestled with that raccoon before finding its vein. Antun’s hunt just now, the speed – it was easily the fastest out of everyone’s hunts.
“You all stepped away from the group, but other than that, everyone’s feeds went a little differently,” I said.
Antun grinned at me, “Because everyone was following their instinct. Stepping away from the group is optional; it can help with focus sometimes but it’s not necessary. The main thing is, Drew, that you go with your gut. Shut off that part of your brain that’s always overthinking every single little thing. Come on, if there’s one deer there’s bound to be another.”
We began walking again, heading upwind from Antun’s prey in case the smell of adrenaline in the air warded off any other animals. After a few minutes of silence, Syla tapped me on the shoulder. “My first hunt was shortly after I was turned too,” she began. “I was still unsure of what exactly I had become, but I knew that I was no longer mortal and that I needed blood, for whatever reason. I knew I couldn’t rely on human blood alone or I’d be caught. An unchaperoned young woman in the early 1700s was too noticeable.”
“I stole a pair of my cousin’s britches. At night after my parents were asleep, I’d dress as a young man and go out to hunt, both in the city and in the forest. Thanks to Nikola passing through, there were less and less people on the street at night, making it harder for me to find mana.” She ducked under a low-hanging branch and held the smaller branches up so they wouldn’t snag my hair.
“I took my father’s hunting knife one night and snuck out to the forest to see if maybe an animal’s blood would work. I was getting thirsty, and I had no idea what I would do if it became unbearable. I was loud, scared away nearly every animal. All but the predators, that is.”
“I eventually came to a stop against a tree, panting and tired. That’s when the wolf struck. The knife was thrown from my hands and I was pinned beneath snapping, snarling teeth. The animal’s drool spat in my face with the force of its barking. It wasn’t until I remembered that I was no longer mortal that I realized I had an animal right in front of me.”
“I managed to smack it in the head with a fist-sized rock I found in my scrambling and had just gotten to my feet when it rushed at me again. This time, my arms were wide open and ready. It leapt and it was like time froze for a heartbeat – its heartbeat – and I knew exactly what to do. As it tackled me, I buried my face in the monster’s furry neck, elongating my canines and biting as hard as I could. My entire body was slashed, clothes a ruin. As I drank, my wounds began to slowly close – I could feel the sped-up healing almost like a burning itch under my skin.”
Syla’s face went grave. “I didn’t stop. I drained that creature of its mana completely. It lay dead on the ground, and I just knelt there, wheezing in breaths and wondering what the hell just happened. I saw my ruined clothes, the scratches still covering my body. At least long sleeves were the fashion of the moment, and Mother had just had new dresses made for me. I had to steal another pair of britches for my later hunts.”
“I guess I said all that to tell you that I realized the forest wasn’t an enemy. It only asked that I move with it, not against it. You’re still too deep in your own beat, Drew. Let another beat fill you and you’ll find this hunting business to be a whole lot easier.” Her warmth radiated. Even the night seemed to hush around her reverently. “You’ll find it, Drew.” She gave me one more reassuring smile before walking on ahead of me.
I wanted to be as sure about it as she was, but as we continued walking, any confidence I had going into this was waning fast. Everyone else had fed but me; I was the only reason we were still out here and not back at home relaxing and drinking tea already. I told myself it wasn’t anything to be embarrassed over, but I couldn’t help it.
Michael hip-checked me and I nearly tripped over tangling feet. He caught me before I could fall, making a small “Whoa,” before stopping himself from falling. Antun and Syla turned, both giving us that exasperated, oh, lovebirds look. I looked back up at Michael, held steady in his arms. He smiled down at me, whispering, “Sorry, didn’t mean to fully trip you. You just looked a little down.”
“I am a little down,” I admitted. “You’ve all fed, I haven’t. Everyone’s stuck out here because of me.”
“No one is “stuck” doing anything. Everyone here is a free agent and wouldn’t be here if they didn’t want to be, so no more of that.” He booped my nose with a finger with the word “no,” making my eyes blink. I smacked his hand away, a grin stealing across my mouth though I tried not to. The skin around his eyes crinkled as he noticed, they twinkled mischievously. “You know I’m going to make you laugh, right? I have to now, boyfriend law.”
I huffed and rolled my eyes. “You’ll scare away the animals.”
“What’s the difference between Trevor and a deer?”
“Wait, Trevor who used to be our manager, Trevor?” Talk about random.
He smiled broadly. “Deer don’t wear tacky cologne.”
In the pause after, I heard a mental ba-dum-tss like drums after a bad pun.
I stifled an undignified snort. “That was the most terrible joke ever.”
“Was it though? You’re laughing,” he countered.
I didn’t have a good comeback for that, so I clamped my mouth shut, earning a chuckle from Michael. Antun turned around, putting a finger to his lips in silent, amused chastisement.
“Yeah Michael, shhh .” I winked at him.
He gave me a look that said I’d be getting it later. And I couldn’t wait, grinning back at him.
Antun motioned that he’d found a good spot, and I crouched beside him. He whispered in my ear, “There’s a doe coming this way, listen for her heart.”
I did, and sure enough, a heartbeat like Antun’s deer was coming this way.
“Think about what you’ve learned only until the deer is within your line of sight. Once she’s there, turn that brain off and let instinct take the wheel. Hear her heartbeat. Scent her warm blood. You’ve got this, Love.”
I moved a short distance away from them, keeping my breathing even as I rolled heel-to-toe, step-to-step. Making it to my predetermined spot, I kept my ears open and listening to that coming doe’s heartbeat, already hearing her steps. Thump. Breathe in. Thump-thump. Breathe out. I matched my breathing to her pulse.
She came slowly into sight and I tried to do as Antun said, let my brain shut off and let instinct take over. I breathed in deeply, catching her scent on the breeze – warm, musky. Thump. Breathe in. Thump-thump. Breathe out. Steps approaching closer. A huff of air and a grunt. Leaves crunching under hooves.
I waited, she walked. Part of me began to worry that she’d bolt away. No, she’ll only do that if you run out too soon. Listen to her pulse, it’ll let you know. That’s what Antun said. I took a deep breath and reset my breathing to match her pulse again. I closed my eyes, letting the pulse become everything.
Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump.
I opened my eyes on my inhale, and they focused squarely on the doe ahead. She’d stopped, looking around as those ears radiated in place. Her tail flicked.
Thump-thump.
I sprinted at the doe. She saw me, preparing to leap away.
Oh, no you don’t.
Lunging, my arms wrapped around her, tackling her to the ground. Mud and leaves flung into the air from her thrashing legs. I wrapped my entire self around her, starting to worry that she’d actually get away.
Find the vein!
I listened to her pounding pulse, mapping it through her body, seeing exactly where my teeth needed to go. I opened my mouth, fangs extending, and bit into her jugular vein. I somehow knew that the doe’s carotid ran beneath the large neck muscles and would be inaccessible, that this was the easiest artery.
I held her tight and drank deep, the mana running warm through my straw-like fangs. It was euphoric – all the adrenaline of the chase topped by sweet mana. I say sweet, but it was a flavor I didn’t know how to describe. If tongues have different taste buds for sweet and sour, then there must’ve been a section special to vampire tongues dedicated to tasting mana.
The corpse flashed into my mind as she writhed beneath my hold – bloodless, sterile, silent. The doe beneath me was hot, full of surging blood, full of messy life. The comparison sliced my rising euphoria in half.
She bucked and bleated beneath me, her breaths coming heavy and fast. But as I continued to feast, her movements became easier to control. Her strength began to fail.
Alright, soon now.
Her hooves kicked, creating chaotic patterns in the dirt as her legs moved slower and slower. Her calls quieted to nothing. Soon, she was asleep.
Thump-thump.
I released my teeth, taking in a big lungful of fresh air. Breathing in the stench of the frightened wild animal as I drank was a less enjoyable experience. But I felt lighter. I felt good. Really good. My hands trembled from my own adrenaline rush and the replenished mana flooding my veins. The power was intoxicating, but the vision of that corpse still hung fresh in my mind, tempering the feeling.
As we were no longer hunting, Antun saw fit to give a loud whoop of congratulations, scaring the hell out of me. And Syla, apparently, who smacked his arm and began berating him. Michael laughed along with Antun, and soon enough Syla and I joined in as well.
Antun, somehow, knew his way home even though we’d traveled quite some ways and in several different directions. I didn’t even know which way was north on a good day. As we walked, we talked, no longer muting our voices. We teased and let our laughter ring freely through the night.
Soon, I spied the lights of home through the trees. We went inside, depositing our shoes by the door. Up the stairs we went, Syla heading straight to the kitchen to prepare tea. I was about to sprawl on the couch when Michael sat down.
“Ah! Get that musk off my couch!” Antun yelled.
Michael leapt off and I adjusted my trajectory, swiveling on my heel and barely correcting enough to not land on the coffee table.
Antun laughed apologetically, “I’m sorry, it’s just a pain in the ass to get the stink out and you surprised me. I’d have thought everyone would be rushing the showers.”
“Nah, too tired,” I nearly yawned. “Aren’t you just going to call the cleaner in the morning to come early for extra pay?”
“Of course I plan on paying Rosa extra, I just figured you all would rather have a clean couch to sit on after you’re all cleaned up,” Antun said.
“I planned on having tea and going to sleep until I have to get ready for work. I know we don’t have to sleep all that much, but as fun as that was, I want a nap.” I paused, giving myself a sniff and nearly gagging. “But on second thought, maybe you have a point. I call first dibs.”
I didn’t take forever in the shower, knowing the others were just as tired, and soon I was back on the only slightly stinky couch, a mug of tea in hand as Antun’s record player hummed smooth jazz. It had begun raining, and the atmosphere was cozier than a YouTube soundscape video. My limbs ached pleasantly; I felt both grounded and alert.
Antun turned on the TV, the news coming on first thing because yes, Antun still had cable. The banner scrolling the bottom of the screen read, “POLICE STILL INVESTIGATING BLOODLESS JOHN DOE.”
He must’ve read my face – I didn’t bother hiding my discomfort, my palpable suspicion. “I’ll reach out to my contact, Jones, at the PD tomorrow. If there’s more to it, we’ll find out.”
I nodded, but my stomach still twisted; the image of the corpse lingered, staining my earlier triumph.
Soon enough, everyone drifted off to their rooms, chatting softly as they walked up the stairs. I lingered by the window, moonlight spilling over my hands – still faintly trembling. The forest beyond the property hummed, alive and real. The thought of the corpse’s sterile silence echoed in contrast.
I took a steadying breath, counting in my head. I whispered to myself, “Alive wins,” but I wasn’t entirely sure I believed it.
